Where's My Grass?

/Coming soon: The Scheming Puppy’s Guide to Winning Him Over/ Younger seme, pseudo-siblings / Everyday sweetness

Devoted, lovesick, dumb, handsome seme x elite beauty uke who slaps and trains dogs

---Blurb---

[Max-strength, lazy, chatty, straightforward seme x seemingly aloof but actually direct and incoherent uke]

Also known as: A Straight Guy Bends Himself, Then Bends His Boyfriend

Wan Yi is the first-rate wage slave, first-rate slacker, first-rate miser, and first-rate unlucky one at the Bureau of Monster Management.

Every day he wants to lie flat, and every day monsters cling to him.

A magpie with a grudge who gets into street brawls, a chatty pearl bird who cheers up its autistic classmate with conversation, a fleeceflower root reported for operating without a license because its hair-growth treatment works too well, a green snake that transforms in front of everyone while trying to make it in show business...

He drags himself home, tired as a dried fish, only to discover that his money tree is gone.

Wan Yi: Where the hell did my tree go?

He turns around and sees a strange man.

When he brings the newly transformed monster to be registered at its home, his coworker from the south is stunned. "How is this a money tree? Isn't it just a roadside shrub?"

Wan Yi sucks in a sharp breath and nearly faints. His dream of getting rich is over.

Qian Jiayun is the money tree Wan Yi has raised for ten years. Oh, right, he's just been stripped of his title as a "money tree."

To avoid being kicked out, he drags Wan Yi off to buy lottery tickets. They win a million.

When Wan Yi can't get a ticket home for the New Year, he opens a mystery box and gets two business-class seats.

When he goes out to take out the trash, he finds a red banknote, two coins, and three bottle caps that say "Try Again."

Wan Yi realizes that when he walks around with Qian Jiayun, he doesn't even need an umbrella to shield himself from bird droppings. Everything goes smoothly.

The money tree is great in every way: handsome, charming, and incredibly lucky.

Too bad he has a mouth.

"I'm too big. It won't fit."

"Am I your kept man?"

"Stop playing on your phone. Play with me."

After finally learning how to speak normally, he climbs into bed one night and says:

"I want to reproduce with you."

...Can you not talk like that?!

Wan Yi covers his face in despair. Who could possibly resist this?

"Why is your face red? Do you have a fever? Then I'll go sleep in my flowerpot."

Wan Yi: No, wait, you took your clothes off, and now you're telling me that?!

[Bonus Scene]

Pure-hearted Wan Yi, won over by Qian Jiayun's direct advances, secretly prepares to confess.

But Qian Jiayun says: O.o? Who said I wanted to date you?

Wan Yi: (〝▼皿▼)

That night, he eagerly orders 365 Ways for Humans and Monsters to Fall in Love.

The next day, he finds Qian Jiayun hiding in the bathroom, chatting with someone:

"The book doesn't say what to do if the other person asks you to marry them."

He rushes in to find Qian Jiayun holding a well-worn book, 108 Tips for Monsters Dating Humans.

It's by the same author, who makes money off both titles.

[Reading Guide]

1. One-on-one romance throughout. Both are pure, no switching or breaking them up.

2. Not recommended for readers who are strongly possessive of one character.

3. No paranormal, superpowers, or suspense. This is a realistic story.

4. Plot and romance are about 50/50, alternating between the two. The author is a beginner.

5. The seme is not weak in bed.

Theme: Our goal is harmony, harmony, and more harmony!