The Whole Sect Is Stabbing Me in the Back

Shen Xiubai transmigrated to the cultivation world and became the greatest sword immortal in the Nine Provinces.

He wanted to lie flat, but then he received a ridiculous System quest:

[Take on a disciple and teach him until he's useless!]

If he succeeds, he can ascend.

If he fails, his disciple levels up and his master coughs up blood.

In the sect, Shen Xiubai laid eyes on Lu Fan, a boy with no spiritual roots who cleaned the latrines.

He's the one! With no spiritual roots, he's already useless without any teaching. A little coaxing should do the trick, and then I can keep lying flat.

The coaxing begins:

Shen Xiubai: "Disciple, do you know what the strongest sword technique in the world is?"

Lu Fan gazed at him with clear eyes. "This disciple does not know."

Shen Xiubai: "The strongest sword technique is one that can cleave the sun, moon, and stars with a blade of grass. Here, disciple, this foxtail grass will be your mighty sword from now on."

Lu Fan: "???...! Is my master crazy?"

A month later... Shen Xiubai suddenly spat out a mouthful of blood.

!!! What? His disciple leveled up?

Shen Xiubai gradually realized that Lu Fan was actually a cultivation prodigy, so he decided to change tactics.

He called Lu Fan over and said earnestly, "Disciple, cultivation is no fun. Come, your master will take you down the mountain to eat, drink, chase women, and gamble, and experience the bustle of mortal life."

Lu Fan nodded.

The next day, before dawn, the sound of sword winds rose in the courtyard again.

Shen Xiubai lay on his bed, listening to the whoosh of swords outside, and closed his eyes.

This disciple just doesn't understand plain English.

As the days went by, Shen Xiubai got used to coughing up blood. First he did it lying down, then face-down, and finally hanging over the edge of the bed.

Staring at the ceiling, he had no choice but to shed two tears: This won't do. I need to start over with a new account.

After that, Shen Xiubai really did take on another disciple. He doted on the new disciple, bringing him water and food.

When he turned around, Lu Fan was standing nearby, staring at the spoon in his hand as tears streamed down his face. "Master, you've fallen out of love with me."

Shen Xiubai: ...

Later, Lu Fan gradually realized something was wrong. Whenever he cultivated, his master either lost cultivation levels or coughed up blood. Terrified that his master might cough himself to death, he stopped cultivating altogether.

So, to treat his master's illness, he secretly developed a unique, unspeakable secret technique.

Bonus scene:

After trying the secret technique, Lu Fan wrapped an arm around Shen Xiubai's waist and asked softly, "Master, has your cultivation improved?"

Shen Xiubai's lower back and knees were weak, and every bone in his body felt like it had been knocked loose. He could only sprawl in his disciple's arms and nod, swallowing his humiliation.

Lu Fan was thrilled and held him even tighter. "Then... why don't we strike while the iron is hot and go again?"

Shen Xiubai: "...What?"

PS: Reader's guide.

Silly, devoted, loyal puppy gong x unlucky, foolish beauty shou

The supporting cast mostly helps the couple get together.

Ridiculous, funny, and focused on daily life. Please support the official release, thank you!

Coming soon: [I Became an Attention Seeker by Delivering Memorials]

Su Bai transmigrated to the Great Liang dynasty and became a low-ranking tribute transport officer.

He's a little gay, and his lifelong dream is to find a boyfriend who's tall, long-legged, has an eight-pack, and is handsome. A little money would be even better, so he wouldn't have to work himself to the bone.

But he searched everywhere nearby and found nothing but ugly losers. Not one of them caught his eye.

Sigh!

All he could do was put every last bit of the smutty nonsense in his head into the chibi action comic he was serializing.

Then one day, while out gathering inspiration, he found an unconscious man.

The man had injured eyes, but he was fair and beautiful, with a slim waist and long legs. He was exactly Su Bai's type.

Su Bai's heart leapt with joy: A beauty has practically fallen into my lap... If I save his life, is it really so much to ask for him to be my boyfriend for a few days?

His "flirty little minx" mode switched on. Every day, he cuddled and hugged the man in his sickbed, taking the chance to feel his tummy and hold his hand, until the man finally fell for him.

After one wild night, before dawn the next day, Su Bai clutched his waist and limped away.

As a polite gesture, he left behind two strings of giant mangoes and a letter: [We weren't a good fit. Goodbye forever!]

Later, he told everyone he met: When looking for a partner, you can't just go by looks.

*

Maybe he'd offended the heavens. Su Bai had dated every man in town, but still hadn't found anyone he liked.

This won't do! The feng shui here is terrible. Time to try digging somewhere else.

When the new emperor ascended the throne, Su Bai began submitting memorials every few days to make sure he was noticed: [Your Majesty, do you like mangoes? Lingnan mangoes are big and sweet.]

The emperor had been in a bad mood lately and, for some reason, couldn't stand the sight of mangoes.

[I DON'T!!!] He added three exclamation marks to his vermilion reply.

Su Bai refused to give up and continued sending memorials.

After being asked more than a dozen times, the emperor flared up and wrote with a flourish: "Ask again, and I'll have you beheaded and plant mangoes on your grave."

Su Bai smoothly switched to another fruit: [Then... how about lychees?]

The emperor laughed in exasperation. As he casually flipped through the memorial, a chibi erotic drawing titled [Eighteen Ways to Seduce the Emperor] fell out.

"Issue an order," the emperor commanded. "Have Su Bai brought to the capital immediately."

*

The day he went to the palace to meet the emperor, Su Bai looked up and abruptly stopped breathing: Th-th-th-that wasn't the guy who said we weren't a good fit!

His waist began to ache. His heart pounded: Thank goodness, he injured his eyes. He probably, maybe, doesn't recognize me, right?

On the dragon throne, the young emperor smiled faintly. Heh. I've been hunting you down for more than six months, and you've delivered yourself right into my hands!

Theme: Admitting your mistakes and changing for the better is a great virtue.