When Mythology Invades History

Legend has it that Qin Shi Huang owned a square mirror that could reveal a sick person's ailment, while evil people who looked into it would grow fearful and uneasy.

A bronze mirror suddenly appeared in the emperor's bedchamber in Xianyang Palace, with a volume titled The Qin Mirror Reveals the Heart beside it. After reading the bamboo slips, Ying Zheng had several Fangshi take turns looking into the mirror, but nothing unusual happened. He then ordered someone to destroy it. The mirror shattered, but before long it was whole again. Just then, Prince Hu Hai came to request an audience with his father, bringing his tutor Zhao Gao. Ying Zheng granted it. After paying his respects, Zhao Gao lowered his eyes and politely reported on Prince Hu Hai's recent condition. As the emperor listened and asked questions, the corner of his eye caught the bronze mirror in the arms of a Fangshi. On its bright, polished surface, Zhao Gao's internal organs were clearly reflected: "his courage swelled, his heart stirred." Then Zhao Gao bowed, and the mirror reflected Hu Hai. Ying Zheng looked again: right where his eighteenth son's heart should be was a huge blot of black ink.

Ying Zheng fell silent. A moment later, he picked up his brush and added "or a heart black as lacquer" after "his courage swelled, his heart stirred" on the bamboo scroll.

Legend has it that Dongfang Shuo was once helped by a white ape to fly up to the heavenly palace, where he stole the Queen Mother's peaches of immortality from the Jade Pool.

In the fifth year of Yuanshou, the emperor's birthday was celebrated throughout the empire. Suddenly, a fierce wind blew and dark clouds blotted out the sun. A black bird descended from the sky and landed before the main hall of Weiyang Palace. As the emperor and his ministers watched in disbelief, the bird opened its beak and declared that it was the Queen Mother's mount, the "Azure Luan," then announced that the Queen Mother would soon descend to earth to offer the emperor her birthday wishes. No sooner had it finished speaking than a woman appeared gracefully and said, "I have peaches from the Immortal Peach Tree, which bears fruit once every three thousand years. I offer five to the Han emperor as a token of my regard." She then singled out Dongfang Shuo from the crowd and pointed at him. "This man has stolen my peaches three times."

Dongfang Shuo was horrified and cried, "??? When did I ever gain the power to ascend to heaven?"

The civil and military officials paid him no attention, instead subtly positioning themselves in front of the emperor.

A moment later, Liu Che, who had always been deeply interested in ghosts and spirits, said in a low voice, "...Are you trying to poison me to death to get back at him?"

Legend has it that Wei Zheng was ordered by the Jade Emperor to execute the Dragon King of the Jing River. The Dragon King begged Emperor Taizong of Tang for help, so Taizong arranged a game of chess with Wei Zheng to delay him. During the game, Wei Zheng fell asleep, and his spirit ascended to heaven and executed the Dragon King of the Jing River.

That night, the wind and rain raged. Outside Lizheng Hall, amid the howling wind, there seemed to be a faint, mournful wail. Li Shimin woke with a start and met the eyes of Empress Zhangsun, who had already risen. They listened intently, and broken phrases such as "Give me back my life" and "You broke your promise" reached their ears. A cold flash gleamed, and a sword rang out. Li Shimin grabbed his sword and went out. In the outer hall, the doors and windows stood open, and a dark figure stood in the rain. Its body was like an ordinary person's, but it had horns. Then lightning tore across the night sky, and in its white light, Li Shimin saw a face that looked part camel, part horse, with a long beard.

The "man" stared at Li Shimin with eyes full of resentment, wailing, "Li Shimin, you said you'd stop Wei Zheng from killing me! You broke your promise! Give me back my life!!!"

Shock and confusion surged through him, and a thousand words came to mind. After careful consideration, Li Shimin finally chose to say, "Haven't you got it backwards?"

Legend has it that when Ming Taizu was a young acolyte at Huangjue Temple, he tripped over the temple guardian deity and angrily beat it. Later, when a rat gnawed through his candle, the abbot scolded him, so he wrote the words "Exile three thousand li" on the back of the deity.

In the twenty-first year of Hongwu, nine vassal princes came to court to pay their respects to the emperor. While in the capital, Prince Lu Zhu Tan became delirious, often running around his residence and shouting that evil spirits were coming to claim his life. The imperial physicians concluded that his brain had been damaged by taking too many mineral elixirs. When Zhu Yuanzhang heard, he angrily rebuked Zhu Tan for his foolishness and forbade anyone from bringing him more "immortality pills." After a period of treatment, Zhu Tan's symptoms not only failed to improve, but grew worse by the day. The princes visited Prince Lu's residence to see him. As they prepared to leave, Zhu Tan desperately tried to stop them. Just as he was begging his brothers to stay and protect him, the sky darkened and a gale rose. A figure appeared floating in midair, its face kind, surrounded by golden light, and bearing a strong resemblance to the Buddha statues worshiped in the temple's guardian hall.

The Buddha's image slowly spoke: "Could you ask your father, young friend: may I return?"

At the sound of the voice, Zhu Tan leaped like a startled bird and clung tightly to Zhu Bai, shouting, "I don't know him, I don't know anything, it has nothing to do with me!"

As the other princes stood dumbfounded, Prince Yan Zhu Di stepped in front of his brothers with his sword raised. Calmly and earnestly, he said, "He follows Daoism. He has nothing to do with Buddhism."

A goofy, lighthearted comedy

Content warnings:

1. A historical livestream across parallel timelines. All characters in the story are historical figures from parallel timelines.

2. The main and supporting cast lists reflect the author's bias toward certain characters. If you dislike that, please leave without directing your anger at the author.

3. This is primarily a crossover. Historical figures from different timelines will meet later on.

4. Myths and legends invade the real world because the planes are collapsing, and they are themselves products of that collapse. So the setting may differ from orthodox myths and folk legends.

5. I'm not a history expert, just an amateur. Feel free to point out any issues with the historical sources, including unofficial histories.

Theme: Gods and Buddhas cannot change humanity's fate. People can.