A small fragment of Lucifer's divine consciousness, discarded when he fell from Heaven, has become the new owner of the Eighth Pawnshop: Harry Potter, The Chosen One of the Wizarding World. What will happen to the Wizarding World when Harry Potter is no longer a golden boy at everyone's beck and call?
I found this article today. In fact, I was attracted by the copywriting (scratching my head). It means that both Hp and No. 8 Pawn Shop are loved!
But after reading the article, I found that there was always a strange feeling in it : P
So here are some suggestions:
1. The articles are too jumpy. Although some articles retell the book like a running account or pile up a lot of information, which makes people feel boring and wordy, but if nothing is explained, the reader will be a little out of rhythm. . .
2. If the time interval is long, it is best to use a dividing line so that it will not be too abrupt.
3. It is recommended to write what you say in a separate line
4. Add dividing lines between different scenes. If there are too many dividing lines, leave a blank line.
5. After reading the first few chapters of this article, I really don't understand a lot. . . Especially some people's language makes me confused.
Then I discovered that you added commas between different people's languages = Dis=
This is the sentence pattern: "xxx" xx says, "zzz" zz says, "yyy" yy says
If the words are not spoken by the same person before and after, just change the comma in the middle to a period, otherwise it will be like one person said two sentences, and then the other person doesn't know what he is doing. . . But it's better to write it in a new line.
6. Check it after you finish writing. . . I remember in the first paragraph there was a Peeves written as Pipiru. . . I had a 0_0 feeling instantly after seeing it. . . Convex=Dan=I return Shuke Beta canned villain. . . (Turn over the table)
7. It's okay to skip the plot, but if you really want to skip the plot, don't add another sentence to tell the story you have already skipped. . .
At last. . . On average, less than one update takes two days, which is amazing! Keep it up~~ Actually, now that I write it, I feel much better than before, eh. However, I still hope to pay attention to the above issues in the future. . . I'll revise the previous article when I have time. . .
Also, please correct that typo in the first chapter, really.
Spread the flowers~*★*:~\\(≧▽≦)/~:*★*~
Welcome back for updates~~~~~~Momo Chinese
By the way, can it be updated daily? ? ? ? ? ?
I hope Luci and Shakalimanyel will live happily ever after!
Alas? No more updates? Very nice.
When will you update? Eight years, almost nine years
Pipilu? Is there still Lu Xixi?
Come on, stay in the pit
Www Chinese, ~~~~(>_<)~~~~ Update quickly! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I found this article today. In fact, I was attracted by the copywriting (scratching my head). It means that both Hp and No. 8 Pawn Shop are loved! But after reading the article, I found that there was always a strange feeling in it : P So here are some suggestions: 1. The articles are too jumpy. Although some articles retell the book like a running account or pile up a lot of information, which makes people feel boring and wordy, but if nothing is explained, the reader will be a little out of rhythm. . . 2. If the time interval is long, it is best to use a dividing line so that it will not be too abrupt. 3. It is recommended to write what you say in a separate line 4. Add dividing lines between different scenes. If there are too many dividing lines, leave a blank line. 5. After reading the first few chapters of this article, I really don't understand a lot. . . Especially some people's language makes me confused. Then I discovered that you added commas between different people's languages = Dis= This is the sentence pattern: "xxx" xx says, "zzz" zz says, "yyy" yy says If the words are not spoken by the same person before and after, just change the comma in the middle to a period, otherwise it will be like one person said two sentences, and then the other person doesn't know what he is doing. . . But it's better to write it in a new line. 6. Check it after you finish writing. . . I remember in the first paragraph there was a Peeves written as Pipiru. . . I had a 0_0 feeling instantly after seeing it. . . Convex=Dan=I return Shuke Beta canned villain. . . (Turn over the table) 7. It's okay to skip the plot, but if you really want to skip the plot, don't add another sentence to tell the story you have already skipped. . . At last. . . On average, less than one update takes two days, which is amazing! Keep it up~~ Actually, now that I write it, I feel much better than before, eh. However, I still hope to pay attention to the above issues in the future. . . I'll revise the previous article when I have time. . . Also, please correct that typo in the first chapter, really.
Spread the flowers~*★*:~\\(≧▽≦)/~:*★*~
Welcome back for updates~~~~~~Momo Chinese By the way, can it be updated daily? ? ? ? ? ?
Dumbledore actually knew that, right?