A Straight Male Office Drone's Guide to Magical Girls

Straight-laced magical girl top x elegant, scheming villain bottom

"Make me wear another pink dress, and I don't care if you're a System or not, I'll beat you up too." Zhou Yanke stared deadpan at the magic wand in his hand. The lines of his abs were just visible beneath his frilly pink skirt.

A hapless corporate drone who'd worked himself to death after yet another string of overtime shifts, he heard a voice as he hovered near death: bind yourself to a System, and you can stay alive.

To survive, he agreed to bind himself before the voice had even finished speaking. But why did it have to be a magical girl System, of all things? Yes, it means exactly what it sounds like: he has to wear a lace-trimmed dress, wield a magic wand, and save the world.

System: "Host, use love and a sense of justice to change the villain!"

Zhou Yanke: "The only person I know how to change with my fists is my dear boss."

One day, he runs into Ji Mian, the infamous villain boss who blows up buildings like he's setting off fireworks.

Ji Mian: "Well, well. A magical girl?"

Zhou Yanke: "Get lost. I'm straight."

Ji Mian: "Mr. Magical Girl, your skirt is coming undone."

Later, Zhou Yanke realizes Ji Mian is really annoying.

When Zhou works overtime, Ji Mian brings him coffee. When Zhou gets into a fight, Ji Mian hands him a handkerchief to wipe off the sweat. When Zhou transforms and his skirt gets stuck, Ji Mian even kindly adjusts his bow.

"Are you crazy?" Zhou Yanke finally snaps.

Ji Mian smiles sweetly. "Yes. Lovesick."

Zhou Yanke: "..."

Later still, the System breaks down. "Host! You're supposed to be an elegant magical girl. How can you be with the villain?"

Zhou Yanke sneers. "What's it to you?"

Ji Mian hugs him from behind, resting his chin on Zhou's shoulder. His voice is full of laughter. "Mr. Magical Girl, can you go on a date with me now?"

Zhou Yanke: "...Put down the detonator in your hand first."

Ji Mian blinks innocently. "But I want to blow up your company."

Zhou Yanke falls silent for two seconds, then nods. "Fine. Blow it up."

#The plan was to save the world, but instead I eloped with the villain#

#About how my nemesis keeps taking secret photos whenever I transform#

#Today's magical girl is still using her biceps to burst out of her bow#

Theme: Be kind to everything.