[Western Crossover] A Gotham-Style Occult Butler's Daily Life

Just a random idea I came up with!!!

When Batman's blood seeps into a cult's altar, Elarrick awakens from the rotten pages of a Bible.

This demon, who weaves Gotham together with fungal threads, is obsessed with embroidering Batman's wounds into eternal shackles.

Gotham is bleeding, and he savors its sweetness.

"Become my Gotham," the silver-haired demon butler gently knocks on the Batcave's door, "or watch me carve it into a cage worthy of you."

This disaster isn't an infection. It's a courtship.

Every citizen is mutating into a rose of flesh and blood, offered up to Batman,

while the gardener smiles and trims its thorns.

--That's enough of that. Here's the silly version--

When Elarrick framed a picture of Satan and put it in his job application, Bruce thought it was just a Gotham-style bad joke.

Until--

For the Nth time, Bruce found a jump-rope alarm sewn into the lining of his suit. Every hour, it went off automatically: "Master, it's time to get up and break two criminals' ribs for cardio!"

The Robins had it worse. Their energy bars would suddenly recite The Demon's Guide to Fitness halfway through training, while Alfred's latest "get-well gift" was a broom spirit that could dance in a public square.

Lately, Commissioner Gordon kept finding demon-themed merchandise at crime scenes: glowing Satan rubber ducks, evidence bags that sang "Lullaby," and a demon-language thermos printed with "GCPD ≈ God Cares, Please Don't."

After once again dodging the butler's attempt to give his bow tie tentacles made of living bandages, Bruce wondered for the 10,086th time whether retirement was possible.

Theme: It's all Batman!