The Bamboo Spirit's Guide to Taming a Husband: A Sharp-Tongued Celestial Master's Self-Courting Chronicle

[The full novel is complete, so feel free to dive in!] [Entered VIP on June 21; revised after entering VIP]

[Currently serializing "Does the Female Side Character in an Explicit Novel Have to Meet Her KPIs?" A melodramatic, angst-filled story about tormenting men. Please give it a read!]

[Restrained, aloof Taoist priest vs. bewitching, sweet-tempered little bamboo demon]

Though it was a ruined temple, it was still sacred Buddhist ground, governed by strict rules.

The moment Zhu Zhaozhao came into the world, a chilly chain coiled around her waist, and she was suddenly yanked into his arms.

Right in front of the Bodhisattva, Yi Wulu pinned the soft little bamboo demon beneath a Buddha statue. He was tall and imposing, dressed in white as pure as snow, his features as cool as frost beneath the moon.

"Little bamboo demon, did you cross seven mountains and eight rivers just to throw yourself into my arms?"

Held so tightly she couldn't move, she blushed and quietly felt for the Soul-Anchor Talisman in her sleeve. "I came to find my fiance."

"Say that again, and I'll chop you up... to weave a flower basket."

His voice was low and husky, his tone teasing. It sounded like a threat, but felt more like flirtation.

Only later did Yi Wulu learn that the little demon he thought about "chopping up" every day was the fiancee of his late best friend.

But, brother, your wife is kind of sweet.

*

She was a demon. She had always known that demon hunters hated creatures like her to the bone.

Wasn't that stinky Taoist just the same? He was always wearing a stern expression, staring at her as if he meant to capture her at any moment.

And yet she would never forget that day.

Amid the bloody storm, he knelt and shielded her with his body. Though he was as cold and severe as ever, his body was covered in wounds. His gaze swept gently over her cheek, and all he said was:

"Don't be afraid."

In that moment, even Zhu Zhaozhao wasn't sure anymore.

What did this man, who kept saying he would "weave her into a flower basket," really mean?

-----Upcoming Story-----

Let's go, Sister Jing!

Here's the conclusion first: Jiang Zhaoyue transmigrated into a book, becoming a cannon-fodder female side character with the same name in an explicit novel. Her nickname is Jiang Suisui.

In the original story, the female side character was cruel and jealous of the heroine, so the hero arranged for her to marry his recently deceased, still-warm younger brother in a ghost marriage.

Jiang Zhaoyue arrived at just that moment. Talk about a coincidence. She was completely dumbfounded.

System: [Host, your mission is to win over the supporting male character who secretly loves the heroine: Mu Ciwei, the hero's younger brother.]

Jiang Suisui: No, wait... Big brother, he's already lying in a coffin. How am I supposed to win him over? Are you trying to mess with me?

System: [Don't worry, Host. The supporting male character isn't dead. The System will provide you with golden fingers. Good luck!]

*

Golden finger 1: Naughty-word censor (pretty useless)

Golden finger 2: Words become reality (the heroine speaks, and the hero's pants fall right off)

Golden finger 3: Forced love at first sight (the moment the leads look at each other, they go muah~)

Golden finger 4: Mood barometer (when the hero is in a bad mood, the heroine gets struck by lightning)

Golden finger 5: Shared sensations (well... you know ^w^)

...More to come...

*

To get home as soon as possible, the heroine puts her golden fingers to use:

[Golden finger 1] Naughty-word censor

Heroine: Hey, Mu Ciwei, want to have s*x? I'm really good at it! I want to do it with you. F*ck! Why does it censor the keywords?

The hero grabs the heroine by the throat, smiling gently. "Keep talking like that, and I really will kill you."

[Golden finger 2] Words become reality

The hero unhurriedly wipes his sword, his eyes curving with a smile. "Can you tell me why you've gone to such lengths to stay by my side?"

Heroine: "Uh... I wanted to see your abs?"

The hero's collar suddenly comes undone, revealing a glimpse of skin.

Heroine: "Wow~"

Hero: "..."

[Golden finger 3] Forced love at first sight

As the heroine climbs into the hero's bed, she stares into his eyes, then suddenly freezes. "Wait, System, the supporting male character is blind! How are we supposed to look into each other's eyes?"

The next second, the hero opens his blank, sightless eyes.

With a smacking sound, the heroine's lips land on his prominent Adam's apple.

The hero's throat bobs. Feeling the cool softness against it, he asks with a hint of excitement and surprise, "...What was that?"

The heroine covers her bruised lips and stammers, "N-nothing."

*

The golden fingers take turns, but they all end in failure. Jiang Zhaoyue can't put it off any longer, so she decides to make a direct move. Barely covering her shoulders, she climbs into Mu Ciwei's bed...

Mu Ciwei, who usually pretends to be asexual but actually suffers from severe skin hunger, finally can't hold back and pounces on Jiang Zhaoyue ^w^

On the bed, Jiang Zhaoyue's gaze unconsciously falls on Mu Ciwei's blind eyes. Doubtfully, she asks, "Can you... do this?"

Mu Ciwei pretends to be calm. "No."

Jiang Zhaoyue lets out a soft sigh, straddles his waist, and looks down at him tenderly. "If you're scared, hold on to me."

Mu Ciwei nods, his ears red and his throat dry. "Mm."

A little while later, Jiang Zhaoyue strokes Mu Ciwei's cool, handsome features and murmurs, "Move on your own."

Afraid of hurting her, Mu Ciwei restrainedly lifts his lower back and asks tentatively, "S-Suisui, am I doing it right?"

Jiang Zhaoyue lowers her head and gently kisses his forehead. "Yes. Very right."

Theme: Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Mohism are all paths of cultivation.