Wen Xiaojing transmigrates into a court-intrigue novel as a disposable imperial physician.
According to the original plot, the physician must do his professional duty and faithfully stand by for every shift, while also doing his utmost to protect the emperor’s every cuckold’s cap.
Fortunately, he has a System buff, so Wen Xiaojing, an innocent college student, steels himself and gets to work.
But he never expected that this wouldn’t be his only buff...
During daily consultations, Wen Xiaojing pretends to take his patients’ pulses, while carefully organizing his memories in his head: [A is pretending to be pregnant when she isn’t, B is pretending not to be pregnant when she is, C’s three months should be recorded as four, and D’s six months as five. Don’t get them mixed up!]
The consorts watching: Nice.
When a sudden case comes up, Wen Xiaojing rushes out to treat the patient: [Oh, I remember this part of the plot. A seems to have egged B on to steal something from C to frame D, but accidentally hurt E?]
[Should I find a sedative needle and knock someone out so they’ll tell the truth?]
The real culprit behind the scenes: ...Guys, how is this even happening?!
When the Noble Consort gives birth, Wen Xiaojing zones out under the emperor’s threat to bury him alive alongside her: [She safely gives birth to a daughter here. The girl will probably be the smartest child in the palace.]
[Too bad the trash emperor will send her off to marry into another family. That place practices levirate marriage!]
The Noble Consort in labor: No way!!!! (Takes another breath) (Pushes) (Gives birth) (Looks at the devoted emperor) (Gags)
Later, the plot takes a strange turn, and Wen Xiaojing somehow becomes the head of the Imperial Medical Academy.
It’s time for another routine pulse check, but before Wen Xiaojing can even put a hand down, the reigning champion of palace intrigue says:
“You took my pulse very well. Don’t do it again.”
Wen Xiaojing: ?
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[Reader’s Guide]
*This story really is packed with all kinds of terrible puns and memes: outdated ones, overused ones, and even bull terrier memes. Many scenes exist just to set up a joke, and many characters exist just to set up scenes for jokes. There’s no logic or research, so if that style isn’t for you, please don’t read!
*There isn’t any serious palace intrigue. If it feels like things are about to get dramatic, that’s just the setup for a joke. If you want a serious rise-through-the-ranks palace intrigue story, please don’t read!
*What counts as a supporting couple? If Stone counts as one, there should be a few, but they won’t get detailed scenes. For now, there are no proper BL, GL, or other queer supporting-couple storylines, but there are some joking, slightly ambiguous unrequited crushes (?). If you can’t accept even a hint of other sexualities, please don’t read! (Updated 03/30.)
*If you’ve read all that, decided it’s not for you, and still haven’t given up, then let’s begin! ^_^
Theme: Be kind!
Hahahahaha, the conflict has shifted, let the heroine of the novel and the hero of the novel fight
I support it. When you become an empress, these are all subordinates of the heroine.
It feels like a cycle. The queen of the old emperor is like the "Mr. Mo Yuanshi" who chose to be a medical concubine.
After reading this chapter, I want to change the heroine. I kind of hate people who are so complacent knowing their future achievements. The future is the future, how do you know it won't change? Of course, if the author doesn't change, I won't say anything.
Hahaha, it's good to be an empress 💪
Ah, the emperor is here to play house
Ahhhhhhhhh our little Wen is stunned! OK OK
? Why did it get so advanced? I thought it was just a silly light novel [Afraid]
In fact, I don't understand the rest of it, and I feel like I haven't finished writing it.
The tonic is on!! Everyone except the Dog Emperor needs to be well.