The Fake Young Master Uses Metaphysics to Dominate the Yin and Yang Worlds

A sweet, extreme calamity-bringer with maxed-out luck x a curious, busy King of Hell who dotes on his wife

When the variety show Ghostly Tales announced that useless, unlucky Jiang-family member, the whole internet roasted it. What was supposed to be a nice show popularizing metaphysics was now getting dragged through the mud.

Who didn't know that the Jiang family's walking jinx was a magnet for disasters?

The show launched with everyone on edge, and the comments and private messages were full of venomous demands for Jiang Shixu to get off the show.

The whole internet mocked him, as a flood of haters arrived to insult and belittle him, claiming that if he messed up, it would be exactly what everyone wanted to see!

After all, everyone knew the Jiang family had thrown a grand welcome-back banquet for their real young master and announced they were cutting ties with Jiang Shixu. The real young master was a master of the occult arts and ghost control, so mocking this fake was the perfect way to curry favor with him.

But on the show, the young master explored haunted houses, read fortunes on livestream, urged ghosts to mend their ways, and calmly barbecued food amid screams and frantic escapes, handing half to his companions and stuffing the other half into the hands of a ghost ripped to pieces.

"Go on, eat up, don't be shy. What? He stepped on your grave and crushed your son? Oh my, that's so cruel. You really should teach him a lesson."

"That medium falsely accused you? You were never a servant in some villain's house? Got it, I'll give her a piece of my mind." Someone rolled up his sleeves.

"You sleepwalk, and after you died, you lost your memory and don't know where you wandered off to? So you can sleepwalk even when you're dead. I'll call the underworld and ask where you're from."

The ghosts howled, "Holy crap, he's so gentle! He doesn't just take the humans' side! Jiang is the cutest! The show's over and it's already dark, too dangerous for our little cutie to go home alone. Let's form a team and escort him home!"

So the ghosts went on a night parade. Taking a closer look at the two people beside their little cutie, they squinted. Huh, aren't they... Aaaah! They're the Black and White Impermanence! Why are they with our little cutie? I just escaped from him, but now I'm protecting him! Aaaah!

The Black and White Impermanence, who usually turned a blind eye when ghosts escaped, smiled. "Returning to the underworld costs a hundred thousand in the Flower Path, one million to cross the Bridge of Helplessness, and three million for a bowl of Granny Meng's soup. Inflation is brutal in the ghost realm. If you can't pay, an arm and a leg will just about do. Mention Daoist Jiang's name for a fifteen percent discount. Ghost credit lets you pay a year later."

The trending topics updated. One day, the old fogeys of the Metaphysics Association all reposted a message on Weibo: Congratulations to Jiang Shixu on becoming the youngest member of our association. Please be kind to our little professor.

~///(^v^)\\\\\\~

Everyone: Is this what an academy of millions is like? Since when do those unbelievably strict people use smiley faces?!

Jiang Shixu got caught up in a case, and the haters once again accused him of putting on a show and faking his persona. The police bureau finally had enough and issued a stern post: "Jiang Shixu, badge number 123xx67, registered special consultant. Anyone who slanders Comrade Jiang will receive not only a talisman from the Metaphysics Association, but also a shiny pair of silver handcuffs."

The haters: ...Mute button, activated.

Someone had just died. The Black and White Impermanence came to escort his soul in accordance with the rules, and the new ghost pointed at the two officials, blabbering: "Whoa, aren't you two the comic relief sidekicks of that little Daoist Jiang?" The two officials smiled without warmth. Only after the soul-catching chains were locked around him and the pressure of the Impermanence forced him to the ground did the new ghost stammer out an apology.

He'd just shuffled into the underworld with his head hung low when a ghost greeted him. "Hey, newbie, have you met Jiang Shixu? He's seriously adorable!"

The new ghost timidly replied, "Met him? I'm a huge fan."

The ghosts strolling along the Road to the Yellow Springs all spun around and crowded over. The two Impermanence officials turned too, smiling as they withdrew the soul-catching chains and draped an arm over his shoulder. "Well, why didn't you say you were one of our young master's biggest fans? Come on, let's have a couple drinks, and then the two of us will personally see you off."

The ghosts in the underworld howled and fought every day for a chance to watch the little Daoist's livestream.

New ghosts: This is awesome. Everywhere in the underworld, people are cheering for my idol. I'm not dead, I've come home to my haaaappy place!

Old ghosts: Why hasn't my useless son burned my album down to me yet?! I'll beat the crap out of him tonight!

Theme: Ghosts may not be lying, and the living may not be telling the truth.