The Reluctant Slacker Is Forced Into Service [Crime Investigation]

Irreverent crime investigation, a 50% System, an urban fantasy setting, and a whole mess of other elements. Coming soon: After Writing Melodramatic Scripts for the Supernatural. Blurb at the very bottom. Please add it to your library! [Sesame rice ball with no flavor at all X Strange green tea with all five flavors: sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, and salty] 1v1, episodic, plot-focused, lightly ensemble cast, HE. The fictional setting exists to serve the story. Three years after graduation, Tang Yan spent three years living a lie-flat life with a secure government job at the Investigation Bureau. Along the way, she snagged a rich, handsome, spoiled heir and married him in a flash. She was wondering when she could quit and live off her looks. Before she could even hand in her resignation, she got promoted, and not just to any position: she became the head of the busiest and most dangerous action team. Tang Yan: I've got a curse word I don't know if I should say. They made the Investigation Bureau's mascot the head of a frontline team! Which lunatic in charge thought that was a good idea? Maybe even Heaven couldn't stand watching, so it took pity on Tang Yan and gave her a detective System. A little green thing chattered in her head: "Step right up and take a look! Bind to me and get a clue bundle for free. Solve cases and earn coins and tools. I'll make your job a breeze and your promotions a joy!" Tang Yan: "Thanks, but I'm useless. Can't do it." System: ...It hadn't even finished speaking. Tang Yan: "No matter what you say, I can't do it." System: "What if you die if you can't solve the case?" Tang Yan: 6 Fine, she'd do the job. She valued her life. She could go back to lying flat afterward. From then on, the Investigation Bureau lost a decorative vase who slacked off and gained a rising star who found clues at lightning speed and worked with extraordinary efficiency. At first, everyone thought Tang Yan had simply been forced to change after her promotion. Until they saw with their own eyes the head of the International Investigators' Alliance treating Tang Yan like a dear friend. Every investigator was stunned: Wait, so you were just slacking off before? Now that her secret identities were being exposed, her days of pretending to be a lazy fish were over. Frustrated, Miss Tang hauled out her System. "Go tell them you did it, or I'll have you recycled and rebuilt." System: "Wait, the boss never told me I was binding with a top expert! Sob, she's got a ton of secret identities, and she can really beat me up!" A power couple in a satisfying story, cases woven into the main plot, told out of chronological order. The female lead is playing the pig to eat the tiger. The plot-to-romance ratio is 70:30. The romance is smooth sailing, with hardly any angst, so you can read without worry. Female lead: A neutral fun-seeker with a bit of a conscience, but not quite normal Male lead: A morally chaotic fun-seeker with a high moral ceiling and an extremely low floor A certain supporting character: A troublemaker who loves stirring things up A certain unnamed villain: A morally chaotic fun-seeker So, really, it's a gathering of fun-seekers. The only one suffering is the goofy System. P.S. The author is a fun-seeker too, but the characters' views don't represent the author's. It's normal not to like a story, but please don't make personal attacks against the author. After Writing Melodramatic Scripts for the Supernatural After more than ten years of living well, Jiang Jin picked up a new hobby: writing melodramatic stories. With years of experience reading stories about switched-at-birth heirs, pregnant women and boys running away, lovers being pursued to the crematorium, and a whole lot of tragic deaths, she spent two years turning herself into a bestselling author, earning plenty of "warm greetings" from her readers. Then came the retribution. A speeding truck, a drowsy driver, a guardrail long overdue for repairs, and a mountain road with no signal... The driver died on the spot, leaving behind an unconscious father, a paralyzed mother, a blind younger sister, and a family in ruins. The police called it an accident. Everyone else said she was unlucky. Whether it was an accident or bad luck was hard to say. Jiang Jin only knew that the driver was a single middle-aged man with no family or friends and just ten thousand yuan in savings. So, even with the compensation and all her savings and royalties, she couldn't afford the medical bills for her parents, which would run into the millions! Not to mention her employees' wages. Worse, her parents and sister started becoming less and less human by the day. Her unconscious father couldn't stop grinning. Her paralyzed mother began dancing strangely in the middle of the night, while her younger sister tried every day to dig the eyes out of various animals and put them in her own sockets. Then, a few nights later, they all rushed at her and tried to bite her. Jiang Jin was about to go mad from the surreal reality around her. That was when someone dressed like an insurance salesman came to see her. "We can help you with your current troubles, as long as you're willing to write some interesting stories starring them." "Them?" Jiang Jin asked. "For example, the truck with eyes that crashed into you at the scene of the accident a year ago." Jiang Jin: ...I thought that was a hallucination. Wait, you want me to write stories about that indescribable blob? It isn't even within the realm of humanity. How am I supposed to write that? "You can write whatever you like. There are only three requirements: First, the protagonists must be right. Second, the logic must be sound. Third, the protagonists must be satisfied." Jiang Jin: What do you mean, the protagonists have to be satisfied? How am I supposed to know what would make those things happy? "That's up to you, Miss Jiang. We have a lot of faith in you. Good luck." Thanks, but I don't really want that good-luck wish. But she had no choice now. She had to return to her old line of work and save her family's lives first. Jiang Jin resigned herself to it, not remembering at all that she was an author of melodramatic stories. So, her first job: an apartment building no one could escape. Jiang Jin wrote: In her previous life, her parents despised her, a sleazy man stalked her, and her neighbors spread vicious rumors. Reborn as an apartment building, she would make them all pay. The second job: a restaurant where anyone who entered spontaneously combusted. Jiang Jin wrote: A restaurant blogger maliciously reported the place, competitors kicked the owner while they were down, and customers took food without paying. The poor owner died unjustly and became a vengeful spirit, waiting to burn those despicable people to ashes. The third job: a black notebook that appeared at random and ate anyone who typed in it. Jiang Jin wrote: After an artist in the fan community posted her work, people deliberately misinterpreted it. Her malicious rival hired trolls to cyberbully and dox her. After the artist suffered a mental breakdown and took her own life, the notebook that had been by her side for years decided to avenge her. The fourth job: an admission letter that suddenly went berserk. A year later, many urban legends had appeared out of nowhere in Linshui Town. Jiang Jin stared speechlessly at a customer list that seemed to stretch to infinity, two enormous dark circles hanging under her eyes. Why were all these things so into melodramatic stories? The person who had tricked her into this line of work appeared once more, smiling as they said, "Welcome to the Tower, Miss Jiang Jin. Serve 989 more clients and you'll be able to rewrite the ending of the past. Keep up the good work." Content warnings: Mystery with mild horror. Powerful female lead with a harem of admirers. The female lead has many people who are in love with her. Fictional fantasy setting. The worldbuilding exists to serve the story. Theme: Slacking off is a way of life. Work is something you're forced to do.