The Heavenly Consort Only Wants to Become a Dragon

The Female Rivalry System entered the world of mythology and evolved into the Heavenly Consort System. As long as the Host focused on clawing at her rivals and boldly braved the sea of love and hatred, she could earn the tears of the most exalted Heavenly Emperor and become his beloved, worshipped forever!

But it ended up bound to a beautiful, lucky koi immortal: the lowliest little loach next door.

System: Hello. I am SO NOT HAPPY to be at your service. I am the Heavenly Consort System.

Little Loach: (certainly) A heart demon.

System: I'm here to help you become the Heavenly Consort.

Little Loach: A heart demon.

And so it went, over and over, tens of thousands of times. The System was forced to change its name.

Heart Demon: (through gritted teeth) Hello, I'm a heart demon. As long as you follow the path of the Heavenly Consort, I'll give you rewards to purify your mixed blood, make you stronger, and make you more beautiful--

Little Loach: I want to become a dragon.

Heart Demon: What for?

Little Loach: To till more land, make more rain, and plant more rice.

Heart Demon: I don't agree. No, stop reciting that! Aah! Fine, till as much as you want!

There were no dragons left in the world. Using the promise of becoming a dragon as bait, the Heart Demon coaxed and cajoled the little loach into traveling through the human realm to the Eastern Sea and seeking the Way at Penglai Academy. All she had to do was take this first step and become the future Heavenly Emperor's classmate. Then she could get ahead of all the White Moonlights, childhood sweethearts, stepmothers, cousins, and the like!

But fifteen minutes after entering the sea, the loach spirit scrambled back to shore.

Little Loach: I'm a freshwater loach. This water is salty.

Heart Demon: Is it reasonable for the future Heavenly Consort--no, Dragon Emperor--to be defeated by seawater??

Hello. I am truly not happy to be at your service.

The Heart Demon, looking haggard, writes deranged, clickbait titles every day to draw in readers.

Today's updates: #A Fierce Battle in the Mud on a Rainy Night# and #The Domineering Farmhand Pins Down the Handsome Heavenly Emperor and Makes Him Sow Seeds for Twelve Hours#

New reader: What even is this? So weird, I have to check it out... (after catching up) Has the Heavenly Consort won at female rivalry today?

Longtime reader: His Majesty, the esteemed Dragon Emperor, has gone to bring rain and till the land!

Theme: Reach the very top!