The Chief Guide's Spirit Always Circles Around Me

[Dual guides, gifted, jealous, insecure top x academically weak, slow-on-the-uptake, high-self-esteem bottom]

Chi Rang got trapped in an illusion after an accident while out on a training expedition. After wandering around for seven days, he finally escaped, only to discover that seven years had passed outside.

Forget his student records: even his household registration had been canceled.

Chi Rang: Damn, I went to school and came out an undocumented person.

Even worse, his good roommate Ji Yanzhi had become the top guide.

Chi Rang: What? You were secretly studying behind my back? Weren't we going to be at the bottom of the class together?

Ji Yanzhi: I was just a little luckier. I don't really have any talent.

Chi Rang: I'd believe you if I hadn't seen your evolved spirit form.

The long-tailed tit that turned into a phoenix: [catches Ji Yanzhi's eye] Cluck-cluck-cluck!

Chi Rang: ...It didn't used to sound like that, did it?

As Chi Rang sorted out his household registration and replaced his student records, Ji Yanzhi and the phoenix ran around helping him, scrambling everywhere. Chi Rang looked at the golden little chick in his arms, disappointed in it.

Chi Rang: Egg Yolk, why don't you transform too?

Egg Yolk: Cheep!

Chi Rang, defeated and regretful: Even a chicken is inferior to other people. Even a chicken is inferior to other people.

Former classmates become head instructors, while a missing person returns to the bottom of the class.

Chi Rang couldn't understand why Ji Yanzhi, who had risen to the top, would come back as an instructor. And if he had to be an instructor, why did he pick on Chi Rang all day?

He wouldn't let Chi Rang stay at the Sanctuary. He insisted that Chi Rang live with him in the Tower, claiming they needed to recover their earliest memories.

He wouldn't let Chi Rang pass his exams, and would only go over the key points when Chi Rang was away. He was just waiting for Chi Rang to visit him alone in his room and ask for them.

Well, fine, he could let all that go.

But why did your clucking phoenix keep circling me all the time?!

And Egg Yolk is my spirit form, you can't eat him! And you aren't allowed to nibble me either!

Chi Rang saw Egg Yolk in the phoenix's beak and let out a piercing shriek:

"Ji Yanzhi! Keep an eye on your bird! Don't touch my chicken!"

"Both birds!!"

Ji Yanzhi had a secret.

He had fallen in love with his roommate, Chi Rang, at first sight. He loved him so much that he was willing to hide his talent and skip class with him, go out to eat, cram for exams, and scrape by with passing grades at the bottom of the class.

The Tower's former top guide looked at his aptitude test and grades, then angrily performed a set of military exercises.

After Chi Rang disappeared, Ji Yanzhi joined the Tower but refused to have any physical mental-soothing contact with sentinels. He only provided guide pheromones to make little pills. The former top guide was so angry he performed another set of military exercises.

The top guide was furious. He picked an auspicious day to give Ji Yanzhi a medical exam and search the database for highly compatible sentinels.

404 not found

No sentinels!

Top guide: Ji Yanzhi, tell me the truth. Are you actually a guide?

Ji Yanzhi: Hmm... How could I not be? [pretending to be frail and gentle]

If there were no sentinels, then they would test guides!

404 not found again

Top guide: ?

Ji Yanzhi: Maybe... he's not in the database.

Top guide: Are you saying that you're twenty this year, and your partner hasn't been born yet?

Ji Yanzhi: Chief, that's a disgusting thing to say.

Top guide: ...***

The Tower's news desk,

bringing you the latest news every day!

Today's headlines:

"The Top Guide's One True Love! It Turns Out to Be... [Click to see]"

"The cause of the incident seven years ago has been revealed. The black hole... [Click to see]"

"Let's discuss: Who will be the next black sentinel? [Click to see]"

"Why has the top guide's spirit form come here... [Click to see]"

"Sanctuary sentinel and guide exam results are out. The top scorer is... [Click to see]"

Bonus scene:

Chi Rang bought a bestseller.

How to Get the Top Guide, with the blurb: One book to win over the top guide and reach the pinnacle of life!

Nobody understands top guides better than I do!

As for why he bought the book, it wasn't because it was any kind of yellow, white, or black book...

It was just on sale, only 128 White Tower coins, a perfect price for weighing down instant noodles.

So when he opened it and found that the entire book contained only the words "Become Chi Rang," his first thought was:

[I knew I was heavy enough. Just right for weighing down instant noodles.]

His second thought was:

[What does that mean? Why become me?]

Ji Yanzhi's account: White Tower coins -128

Here's the blurb for my next novel, OVO

[Can eat, can work x]

Jiang Shiwu couldn't understand how anyone could really believe in the "surprise incubus" spiel, that posting "surprise incubus" in the comments would get you an incubus. It was obviously just a scam to get traffic. What a joke.

Three minutes later

Jiang Shiwu: Surprise incubus.

The next morning, Jiang Shiwu opened the door to take out the trash and saw a drenched man by the doorway. There was only one thought in his mind: Wait, they actually exist?

But you have to admit, this incubus was pretty useful. He could cook, clean, and take care of all the housework.

Jiang Shiwu watched the "product" working in the kitchen and happily left the seller a good review: Fast shipping, good packaging, very capable.

He really was capable. A month later, Jiang Shiwu was rubbing his sore back as he handed the "incubus" his meal money, thinking that maybe he should deduct a star for eating so much.

Then one day, Jiang Shiwu received a package. When he opened it, he found a box of adult toys. The seller was the original "Surprise Incubus" shop.

He was about to thank the seller for the good after-sales service when he noticed a message from them: Your item was lost, so we sent you a replacement. Please confirm receipt!

Jiang Shiwu: ? If the item was lost, who are you?

Gui Yan: Your darling husband~

Jiang Shiwu: Huh? Aren't you an incubus?

Gui Yan: No. [frankly]

Jiang Shiwu: Then why do you "eat" so much all day?

Gui Yan: Baby, I'm hungry~

Bonus scene one: Accepting delivery

The box of toys was supposed to be sent right back where it came from, but something went wrong when he refused to accept the delivery.

"Do you want me, or it?" Gui Yan's canine teeth grazed the back of his neck. One hand held his waist while the other toyed with the things in the box. "Hmm? Why aren't you saying anything, baby?"

"You jerk... you're..." Jiang Shiwu bit his lip as the man behind him chuckled softly. The sound of a fingertip brushing over the shipping label mixed with it in his ear.

"Baby, you've smudged the shipping label. What are we going to do if we can't return it?"

"Then don't return it!" His voice was already breaking into a sob. "Don't... Gui Yan, you... Damn it, don't..."

"Can't use it, baby? But..." Gui Yan bit his earlobe. "There's no pen here, so we'll just have to use this~"

"Baby, how can you waste food?"

"You're not an incubus!"

"Mm-hmm, I'm not an incubus. You're the incubus, baby. You eat so much~"

"I've accepted delivery of you, baby~"

Bonus scene two: Checking the goods

The first time Jiang Shiwu served Gui Yan a meal, he was at a loss. After all, he'd never even owned a dog.

Later, he realized this thing was a lot like a dog: full of energy, needing lots of exercise, and always hungry.

Most importantly, it understood people and could unzip his pants.

Theme: The waves of the Yangtze River push the waves before them ashore.