Before Ash Colin's friend of eleven years returned from abroad, she thought her past had completely lost all connection to her present life. Then she saw Aachen Aegny standing before her, at her lowest point. She began confusing Aachen's appearance with that of another man she loved dearly. But while she was still lost in a thick fog, murders began to spread around her. After the first victim died mysteriously, the girl heard a nightmare ask her in a dream if she was happy. Soon, her sharp-tongued roommate's life was hanging by a thread. A little boy Ash had met at a funeral told her a "spell" that saved the girl's life. But the bloodshed did not stop, and everything pointed to Aachen, as if he had the power to manipulate nightmares. Yet things were far from what Ash imagined.
I've finished reading it. You may be moved. ~I will wait until you finish writing. . Write a review. .
Honey, I'm here to see you! Be impressed! I just finished my exam yesterday!
- I just want to kill that boy! ——TX: I just want to kill 360! -Actually, you want to kill other people. ——Don't lose, don't be a loser ——This is not what he wants
I don't want to draw conclusions i don't know what will happen
Yes, a little happiness for a family of three. . . . What an exciting progress. . . Samuel didn't have a lunch box either. . . Kindness. . . Complete. . . Francois, it turns out you are a monster parent. . . You don't like Ash, so that's how he feels. . . Poor parents. . . Too. . . The young couple still misunderstood you so awkwardly. . . You're right to be upset. . . The author is strongly urged to draw a group photo of their happy family. . . . . . Although the cute and pitiful Samuel only appears a little. . . But since you let Samuel lie happily in the arms of his parents, I won't look at you with resentment today. . . . .
This is a novel in the style of translated literature, using very Westernized writing techniques that we commonly see in various classics. To be honest, LZ really, really likes this style of writing, so after clicking in, I was prepared to read it carefully. Let's talk about the advantages of the article first. It can be seen that the author GN is very skilled in using this writing style. Unlike some articles, which may make people feel mechanical and inconsistent. There are even some parts that are very brilliant, such as the depiction of the characters' movements, expressions and psychology, for example: ["It doesn't matter." Eveli laughed, hanging the slender wine glass between the fingers of her right hand, shaking it back and forth. "You look like you are Ash's boyfriend. You are so considerate and enviable." She still refused to let go of this. When she lowered her eyes to taste the wine, Ash saw her roommate still looking at Aachen with eyes hidden under thick eyelashes. . Similar wonderful descriptions can be found in many places in the text. I have to say that the author is indeed very skilled in this aspect. The accurate depiction of details will make readers have a sense of the picture when reading, which is very worthy of appreciation. But then, since the author GN boldly chose meal B, LZ will start to detail the shortcomings of this article. I hope GN will not be hit by a brick. First of all, let me complain about the title of the article [Ye·Yan]. It is really not a good name. This kind of title is too abstract. It has no aftertaste that can make people daydream, and it cannot directly express the center of the article. As a reader, if I am searching for articles in the sea of literature, then a title like this will definitely not be my first choice, and it will not even be ranked second. Moreover, such a name will make me have the illusion that "this article is ancient Chinese or ancient Chinese." As a lover of translated literature, I personally feel that it does not match the style of writing. Secondly, there is the issue of typesetting. Regarding this aspect, LZ has seen many review groups give relevant suggestions. That is to say, due to the particularity of its text carrier, Internet literature will easily cause readers to feel tired when reading a large amount. Therefore, when writing, it is best to pay attention to paragraphs and blank lines. Large paragraphs of text are crowded together, and not many people have the patience to read for a long time. Now, back to the article itself. The advantages of this article that LZ just mentioned suddenly turned into its shortcomings when I read Chapter 6. GN focuses most of its energy on depicting various details when writing. It is indeed exciting when viewed individually, but when put together, you will find that the story structure is fragmented and the plot description is too average, resulting in a weak sense of rhythm in the article. Some small chapters that should have been exciting (such as the boss's death and the widow's chapter) have become extremely dull. This article has another characteristic: too much information. In just six chapters, a series of characters appear, including the protagonist, the protagonist's roommate, the actor, the boss, the protagonist's former partner, the boss's wife, passers-by, etc., Plus the occurrence of story events, as well as various large memories interspersed in the article, it will make people feel like a mess. It seems that there is a lot to say, but each one cannot be explained clearly. In the process of writing a novel, readers will be lost if the plot advances slowly, but readers will also be lost if the plot jumps too much and the narrative is too complicated. In addition, let's talk about the story environment. After reading a few chapters, LZ went back to the article list. After confirming that the article type was fantasy, three black lines immediately appeared on LZ's head. I said author GN, are you really sure that what you are writing is fantasy? So where are the complete social environment and various fantastic settings that fantasy novels should have? Until Chapter 6, LZ has not seen any fantasy setting, and can only treat it as a "modern and modern" suspense novel (the author has indeed created a suspenseful atmosphere in the writing, with a large number of confusing memories + strange death events + a name that is hesitant to speak + the protagonist's nightmare), but these do not make people agree that it is a fantasy novel. In addition, what LZ wants to complain about is that there are no cute features in this article until the sixth chapter, including the story background, setting, and characters (after reading it, LZ found the most impressive thing to be the supporting role of Ash's roommate and Evely, and the protagonists and the male protagonist all gave me a mediocre impression). Finally, as a lover of translation and style, LZ really hopes that the author GN can pay attention to the above issues. Your writing style is indeed good, and the details are well drawn. However, these must also be combined with the plot and overall grasp. Pay attention to the distinction between priorities. You must not go too far, which will appear wordy. All in all, the author GN has the potential to write good articles, please continue to work hard. PS: Is this another thousand-word review? One. . One
I have written a review in BS. The author GN please go to the building to receive the review. You voted for this post: [Receipt] I stayed up all night and tortured myself to receive the article... Please read the requirements clearly, hey i!!! Otherwise, be careful of the insomniac star Tyrannosaurus Rex = =
This time I have to stare at the disappearing sofa and bench with resentment, and still roll around on the wool carpet. François is disliked. Wow, François is really good at acting... Run away... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh from me from me.
Ah, forget about you, the squinting author who continues to complain. . . Well, I'll squint at you in the opposite direction. . . Ah, Samuel, why haven't you shown up yet? . . .
Cute and pitiful Samuel. . Why, does François want to kill Samuel? . . . . Catherine, it's so terrible, so cruel, even the children are not spared. . . . Samuel said so cutely. . . The watch told me that Samuel was ready for lunch. . . . Otherwise I would. . I'll take care of you on Monday. . . . Francois also has his cute moments. . . .