Face-Blind, but I Made Out with Three Boyfriends

[Naturally pampered pretty boy x three male leads with very different personalities who are all secretly dark] Qi Xu was born with expectations placed upon him, just as his name suggests, and grew up surrounded by love. Everything had always gone smoothly for him, but lately he’d been plagued by three simp Systems: [Three small worlds are merging. If you want to survive, you must be a simp for the male leads of all three worlds at the same time.] Qi Xu: òДó Who’s being a simp? Me? * After carefully examining the three male leads’ identically handsome faces, Qi Xu silently raised his hand. “Sorry, I’m face-blind.” Systems 1, 2, and 3: [That’s fine. If you’re going to simp, who cares who it’s for?] Fair enough, but… “Why do I have to be a simp?” [Because simps are the ones in control.] Rule number one for simps: You can stay as still as a mountain, but I’ll set my own pace. Don’t worry about it. If I feel like simping, I’ll simp. Every little bit counts. And so, Qi Xu - Helps the cold, aloof psychology PhD wash (destroy) his clothes. Holding a brand-new shirt identical to his own, tags still attached, Jiang Yingshen fell silent. “…” - Makes pastries (poison) by hand for the haughty superstar. After biting into a cookie nearly burned to coal, Chi Hui’s brow twitched. “Tsk. Did you ask the flour how it felt before you started?” - Moves in across the hall from the smiling fox of a CEO, playing the helpful neighbor (annoying pest). When the doorbell rang for the fifth time, Xie Chengyan leaned against the door and raised a brow. “You’ve already knocked five times today, young master. What are you borrowing this time?” Qi Xu simped with all his heart (or so he thought), but the male leads… Qi Xu: ⊙▽⊙ You three, please behave yourselves. I’m the simp here. One day, the three male leads discovered that someone’s clingy advances and sweet talk had actually been sent to all of them. “You said you liked me, but you didn’t even save my name in your contacts. Am I just the other man? Who are the other two?” Chi Hui snarled, his contact name reading [Target 3 (easiest to charm)]. The “other two” were standing right there. Qi Xu reached out to one of them for help. “Jiang Yingshen…” The other man hesitated for a few seconds before taking his hand, but his voice was icy. “Sweetheart, who did you think I was?” At the same time, the third man, who had been silent for a long while, grabbed Xie Chengyan’s hand. “Sorry, he was calling me.” Trapped between the three of them, Qi Xu pleaded: [System, save me QAQ.] Bonus scene: In a dim room, Qi Xu struggled to crawl away, sobbing uncontrollably after being teased, but the insatiable man grabbed him and pulled him back. The moment Xie Chengyan pinned him down again, Chi Hui let out a muffled groan on a film set, while Jiang Yingshen’s pen pierced straight through a form in his clinic. The next morning, Qi Xu opened his eyes to find the other two male leads sitting beside the bed. “You three had a great time last night, huh?” “How did you know? Aww… did you three share sensations again?!” Note: 1. [Extreme NTR fans, stay away] This is not a story where you pick a love interest. The three male leads are, in a sense, different fragments of one person. They have different personalities and appearances, and won’t merge in the end. The love interests are all physically and emotionally pure (one of them has a condition that’s hard to talk about). 2. When Qi Xu causes intense stimulation to one love interest, all three experience a mild shared sensation. It’s purely for fun. 3. A silly, fluffy romance with plenty of misunderstandings. Readers who can’t handle awkward situations, beware. 4. The protagonist is a cute little human-shaped menace, an automatic troublemaker with a bit of a naturally unfaithful streak. If that’s not your thing, beware. 5. The characters aren’t perfect, and the Systems have little presence. The setting is semi-fictional, so read rationally. Don’t apply the plot and events to real life. The characters’ values do not represent the author’s. * * ■■■Coming soon: The Young Master Falls on Hard Times and Gets Taken In by a Dad-Type■■■ Yu Yin was raised in luxury. Fussy, willful, and a total handful. When he was happy, he’d strut around with his tail in the air; when he was upset, he’d bite a row of marks into someone’s arm. Always the same person’s arm. * Liang Que was three years older than Yu Yin and in charge of looking after the young master. He didn’t like talking, and the word he said most was “No.” No climbing trees, no being picky with food, and no walking around without slippers. Yu Yin was sick of him. “Stop bossing me around!” Liang Que lowered his eyes. “No.” Then, when Yu Yin was thirteen, his family went bankrupt and his father went to prison. The young master, once doted on by everyone, suddenly had nowhere to go. The only hand held out to him belonged to that annoying guy. A fresh bite mark still showed on the back of the hand. Yu Yin pursed his lips. “If I go with you, will I still get little cakes, comics, and a game console?” Liang Que wanted to say he’d do his best, but he was afraid the young master would be upset. Before he could answer, Yu Yin took his hand. “Then I’ll bite you gently from now on.” He didn’t. Even in their cramped rental apartment, Yu Yin was still a little emperor. He’d throw a fit if the food wasn’t to his liking, demand to be carried when he got tired of walking, and bite Liang Que awake if he couldn’t sleep… Liang Que: … * Yu Yin was so pampered that Liang Que climbed the ladder of success at a dizzying pace. From a small-town mechanic to the powerful, fabulously wealthy CEO Liang, it took him only a few short years. Everyone at the company knew their CEO had a precious younger brother. His expensive suit pockets were always full of imported snacks the kid liked, and his office was crammed with trendy figurines that didn’t fit the decor at all. If his brother called, even the most urgent business had to wait. Everyone couldn’t help wondering what his precious little brother looked like. Then, at a banquet, someone recognized the unbelievably beautiful young man standing in front of Liang Que. Wasn’t he the national young talent representative who’d been all over the news recently? At that very moment, the nation’s rising star was throwing a tantrum at his older brother. “Why can’t I have that ice cream?” Their CEO looked stern. “You’ve already had one. You’ll get a stomachache if you have another.” “…Then I’ll just have half.” “No.” Bonus scene 1: “You’re not allowed to sleep next to me tonight!” CEO Liang, who could command the world during the day, was banished to the corner of the bed because Liang Que had confiscated Yu Yin’s snacks before dinner. Halfway through the night, Yu Yin started making trouble again. “You’re squashing me.” Liang Que said nothing, despite there being enough space between them for two more people. Yu Yin angrily sat up and pounded him. “I said you’re squashing me!” Liang Que sighed, caught his reddened knuckles, and kissed them. “Sorry. Where am I squashing you?” Yu Yin smiled triumphantly after throwing his fit. “You’re squashing my invisible wings.” Bonus scene 2: The young master loved to tease people. But he was always the one who lit the fire, and the one who couldn’t put it out and started pleading. “Liang Que, CEO Liang, big brother, hubby, please… My butt’s going to split in half. I want to sleep.” Yes, the fussy, willful young master was just as fussy and willful in bed. ■Please add this to your reading list (rubs hands like a fly) Theme: Love life and grow through adversity