I Rely on Cheesy Pickup Lines to Stay on Top

Luo Zicen transmigrated into a book sixteen years ago. She had no peerless beauty, no prestigious family background, and no powerful golden finger. The only thing she'd awakened in this cultivation world was the most ordinary earth-manipulation technique, one that everyone knew.

Then one day, she woke up, rubbed her eyes, and discovered a pink, tacky-phrase energy meter floating above her head, along with a copy of The Book of Tacky Lines that only she could see.

As Lu Xun once said, the pinker the meter, the harder you hit; the tackier the line, the stronger the divine power.

"An apology is no substitute for a hug." Energy: 30%. A little mound rises from the earth.

"Stay close to vermilion and you'll turn red; stay close to you and I'll turn sweet." Energy: 60%. A mountain peak now towers overhead.

"Do you know my weakness? It's that I'm missing you." Energy: 90%. A thousand mountains rise on flat ground!

Luo Zicen smashed the book and decided not to let anyone find out about this embarrassing ability.

Then one day, she went to the demon realm for training. Trapped in a valley with danger closing in from every side, she looked at the cold, handsome young lord of the demon race and pointed one hand at the sky and the other at the earth.

"You're a poison so potent I can't be cured. There's no medicine for me!"

The earth's ley lines rumbled like a sleeping dragon rising. With her meter full to the brim, Luo Zicen stood atop a freshly excavated three-bedroom apartment, looking down upon the world.

The cold, handsome young lord of the demon race pursed his thin lips. "This woman is dangerously sweet!!"

*

Later, the Star God Battlefield descended upon the cultivation world. Only those bound to a token could join the battle and compete for the position of Ziwei Star God.

Luo Zicen naturally wasn't about to pass up a chance to get promoted and make it big. Gripping the token she'd obtained by a stroke of luck, she charged into the battlefield without hesitation.

[Player detected in the Star God Battlefield. Beep... Checking your identity.]

[Player: Crooked-Mouth Dragon King. Login successful.]

[Your current score is: Oh my, it's actually zero!]

Luo Zicen: ??? Excuse me?

*

Later still, the cultivation world gained an inscrutable "Emperor Runtu," who could shift the stars with a wave of his hand.

The Five Sages Alliance gained a brilliant strategist known as the "Marquis of Brocade," whose every casual remark could change the winds and clouds.

The Qianlun Sect gained a genius disciple proficient in all eight schools, whose self-created cultivation technique made her stronger even as she breathed.

The demon race gained an exceptionally powerful young Demon Venerable, who was said to command the submission of even the Seven Great Demon Ancestors.

According to prophecy, the Star God Battlefield would appear across the Nine Provinces. The victor would claim the position of Ziwei Star God, gain authority over the Heavenly Dao, and become the ruler of both the immortal and mortal realms.

But that year, four extraordinary names emerged across the Nine Provinces. Everyone wondered which of the four was the mysterious, powerful TOP 1 in the Star God Battlefield: Crooked-Mouth Dragon King.

Then Luo Zicen made a dazzling entrance with her arm linked through that of the young demon lord, and in front of everyone, curved her mouth into a Nike swoosh. "Sorry... Am I all four of them?"

Reader's guide:

* A silly, sweet, satisfying story with rapid power-ups and a touch of ensemble cast.

* The heroine is self-interested, not a saint, but she doesn't kill indiscriminately either. Being cautious is her top priority (strike that, being a coward).

* A commoner with many secret identities who plays the pig to eat the tiger, and a domineering CEO with a screwball way of thinking who's a hopeless romantic.

* Includes characters misinterpreting events and wildly overestimating the heroine.

* Includes a child-rearing plotline (the child is a clone of the male lead). The male lead himself won't appear until the middle of the story.

* For 90% of the story, the male lead is a chaotic, pure-hearted idiot of a CEO. For the other 10%, he's a cold, chaste, aloof beauty. He falls for the heroine at first sight, and it's been part of his plan from the start. No physical or emotional abuse, no dramatic regret-and-redemption arc, and they mutually pursue each other the whole way!

* Some secret-realm training arcs take the form of infinite-flow instances, with attributes, items, and a System. Think of it as an infinite-flow story in a xianxia setting.

* Cultivation realms: Stages 1-9, Spirit Realm levels 1-5, Dao Realm.

At Stage 4, one opens an inner palace. Stages 7-9 are also known as the Lesser Spirit Realm, and Spirit Realm levels 4-5 are also known as the Greater Spirit Realm.

Artifact ranks: Magical Artifacts, Spiritual Artifacts, Spiritual Treasures, True Artifacts, True Treasures, Mystic Artifacts, Acquired Mystic Treasures, Innate Mystic Treasures.

Theme: We yearn for freedom, and we save ourselves.