Dazai and Chuuya: A Mini Theater

1. Short stories, I'll write whatever comes to mind

Story One: [Dazai/Chuuya] You're Not Him (Complete)

Armed Detective Agency Dazai received a request from the Port Mafia: wake a Mafia executive who had fallen under a curse and wouldn't wake up.

The curse had strict conditions. The victim had to have someone they loved but couldn't be with, and could only wake from their slumber after receiving a kiss from that person.

He smiled without humor. "What? Does that little shrimp really think he's Sleeping Beauty? He needs a kiss from his true love to wake up? Besides, that single-celled idiot doesn't even understand what love is. Anyone a slug falls for is doomed to have the worst luck!"

That very night, he found out that the person Chuuya had fallen for was him.

Dazai: !!!

Oh wow. Was he supposed to kiss Chuuya awake? He wasn't into kissing men.

But... but if one kiss could make Chuuya owe him a favor, he could grudgingly agree to the deal.

The kiss ended, but the "Sleeping Beauty" on the bed remained perfectly still. His steady breathing seemed to mock the person whose heartbeat had gone wild over a single kiss.

Armed Detective Agency Dazai's kiss couldn't wake the "Sleeping Beauty," because the person in Chuuya's heart was the partner who had always been by his side, the one who would make the world wait two minutes for him, not the former partner who had left without saying a word.

You're not him. I'm still willing to entrust you with my life, but only because you remind me of the person you were when we were young.

Story Two: Older Chuuya x Younger Dazai, Eight-Year Age Gap (Complete)

Executive Chuuya brought back a badly injured child from a mission.

The boy came to the Port Mafia to do just two things: get himself killed and cause Chuuya trouble. Eight days a week, Chuuya regretted picking up this troublesome little menace, and secretly planned how to get rid of him without anyone noticing.

But the plan to "get rid of Dazai" fell through before it even began.

The Boss told Chuuya, "Dazai-kun is staying with the Mafia. His ability is very useful, and I can tell you like the boy, Chuuya-kun. I'll leave him in your care."

Chuuya: "...Huh?! Boss, maybe you should get your eyes checked. How could anyone not hate this heap of black, unidentifiable life-forms?!"

Chuuya wouldn't disobey the Boss's orders, so he resigned himself to keeping the troublemaker close. His days, once spent savoring fine wine and admiring famous paintings, now revolved around stopping Dazai from getting himself killed and keeping Dazai from angering him to death.

At long last, the troublemaker grew to be nineteen. Chuuya was about to tell him to get lost. Sure, he was annoying most of the time, but sometimes he was kind of cute in a childish way. Still, to part just like that felt a little...

That supposedly childish and kind of cute Dazai did something earth-shattering that very night. With absolutely no regard for his life, he made a move on the executive he'd coveted and dreamed of for ages.

Chuuya: "Aaah! You bastard! I'm cleaning house today!"

1. Apologies for the out-of-character behavior.

Theme: Discover the love in everyday life.