Also known as "Would You Like to Ascend to Heaven?", "The Heaven Admissions Office", "Where Did My Wife Go?", "Has Anyone Seen My Wife?", "Wife Delivered to Your Door", and "Somehow, I Ended Up with a Wife."
*
After the war to purge the old gods, the new gods took power, and the old gods were nearly wiped out.
The sea otter god took the lead in organizing retirement for the old gods, with the support of the other four.
The five old gods created an island beyond time and space, where they settled down to enjoy a leisurely retirement.
Until one day, he went fishing and hauled up a human. He decided to leave the human to fend for himself.
The human died that very night.
The next morning, he hauled up another human, identical to the first in appearance and mannerisms.
The third day.
The fourth day.
Only after the cycle had repeated many times did he and the other four gods realize that time was being reset.
Later, they discovered that no matter how they tried to keep watch over the human, he always died that night.
The gears of fate had started turning the very day the human arrived.
As time reset, their divine powers began to fade, and the human's body gradually turned transparent.
They tried again and again to find out what was causing the human's death, but to no avail.
So the fallen angel came up with a plan: dangle ascension to heaven as bait and give the little human a reason to keep living.
The next day, when they saw the human whose body was nearly transparent, they put on what they believed was the gentlest smile of their lives.
"Wen Yan, hello. Would you like to ascend to heaven?"
"As long as you survive today, you can go in."
*
Wen Yan was a child his father didn't love and his mother didn't care for. After his younger brother was born, his life became worse than a dog's.
At home, he watched his parents dote on his brother, then turn to him with eyes as cold as ice.
At school, his classmates maliciously spread rumors about him and bullied him without restraint. Some accused him of stealing a classmate's money, while others mocked him for being gay.
On his eighteenth birthday, he'd had enough. He bought a train ticket to the seaside and jumped into the ocean with a splash.
Only after he died did he learn that his laughable life had been summed up in a mere fourteen words in a failed novel.
He closed his eyes in anger. When he opened them again, what? He was alive? And what were these monsters in front of him?
A sea otter with nipple rings, a giant octopus with tentacles thicker than his body, a mermaid with a huge tail that could blind you, and a golden-yellow lion...
There was also a black-haired man with black-and-white wings spread from his back, his face almost pressed against Wen Yan's, calling him "wife" over and over.
Before Wen Yan could ask, "Who are you people?" they all smiled in perfect unison, like a row of machines, and asked if he wanted to go to that so-called heaven.
What the hell?
"...No, thanks."
Later, the sea otter, impervious to blades and bullets, took a fatal blow for him. The ancient octopus turned into a collar around his neck. The fastidious mermaid searched the entire ruin for his corpse. The ferocious lion turned into a kitten for him to play with.
And the former angel who had presided over [Justice] washed an entire temple of the new gods in blood for him.
[Bonus Scene]
Wen Yan waded across the beach, while Adrian clung to him from behind.
"What are you doing?"
Wen Yan turned to look at the pitiful fallen angel. His wings were the strongest of cages, trapping Wen Yan inside without a single gap.
"Don't go..."
Don't let the cold seawater cover you again.
"I'll make sure to stay alive."
Wen Yan smiled. "You're such an idiot."
*
Wen Yan x Adrian
The uke seems irritable and sick of the world, but he's really a lonely, insecure little sweetheart who just wants to be loved.
The seme seems cold and uncaring, but he's actually a hopeless romantic who keeps calling him "wife."
[Reader's Guide]
1. The uke is so stubborn! The gods can't get a word out of him!
2. There are lots of original worldbuilding details, all of which will be explained in the main story.
3. It eventually turns into a story where everyone dotes on the uke. He deserves the very best the world has to offer :)
4. The seme is a hopeless romantic. He'll grab the uke and pull his foot against his own face.
5. The uke is very irritable at first! He wants to blow up the whole world!
Theme: Keep living, even if it's just for one more day.
