My Ninja Game Isn't Supposed to Be Like This

You’re a seasoned player who’s tried all kinds of games. On your birthday, a friend gives you a game called Dokidoki: Naruto’s Great Battle. You’re deeply moved, then refuse to play a gal game.

Your friend says nothing, only keeps sending you gameplay videos to show that, despite its romantic-sounding title, it’s actually a hardcore game combining fighting, strategy, open-world exploration, and more.

Your eyes narrow at the word “hardcore.” What else is there to say? You start the game!

Then:

First playthrough:

Tutorial NPC: “This is a kunai, this is a shuriken, this is a clone technique...”

Then he points at the other NPCs with you, says something about charging in and killing them all to graduate, and leaves, spouting things you can’t understand at all.

You: “...Whatever. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t care what I’m supposed to do. I’m going on a killing spree! All right, let’s start with that masked guy in the cow-pattern outfit.” (The player grins evilly.)

Half an hour later, you’ve just left the starting village when you run into an overpowered enemy. You give it everything you’ve got, but it’s no use.

Your save file is dead.

No problem. The player will be the strongest in the next playthrough!

Second playthrough:

One minute into the game, on a dark and windy night, you run into a giant fox. It attacks with zero startup frames, impossible to dodge. Your save file is dead again~

Third playthrough... save file dead. Fourth playthrough... save file dead...

You drop to your knees, tears streaming down your face, and shout in humiliation: “No! I’m a hardcore gamer, aren’t I? How can I keep losing my save files? No...”

Nth playthrough:

This is the last time. You make up your mind: if your save file dies again, then... you’ll go “ding!” and transform into a cyber immortal, showing these ungrateful NPCs what the Fourth Calamity is all about!

“Hey, I got a guaranteed pull. Let’s see... Senju Ryo... What a weird name. Whatever, as long as I can play.”

Theme: Don’t play dating games