An Office Worker Goes on a Rampage in a Cultivation Sect

In the world of immortal cultivation, the Heartless Path is a popular major. It ranks first in applications every year, but its graduation rate is always zero. That's because the Heartless Path produces nothing but people who love too deeply.

For various reasons, the Heartless Path gradually faded from people's view, replaced by more and more cultivation paths. When office worker Ran Ye transmigrated, all the immortal sects were recruiting students.

Yuzhao Academy champions the Spy Path. Admission requirements: Applicants surnamed Xiao, Ye, Shi, or Lin get priority; applicants who have survived three or more deadly disasters and have a mysterious fiancee get priority; applicants who have been rejected after an engagement, whose parents have mysteriously disappeared, who like talking to rings, who are easily bullied, or whose enemies like to laugh "kekekeke" all get priority.

Shize Academy follows the Worldly Path. Applicants with extraordinary talent but no parents and a blood feud are not accepted; those of humble birth with miserable childhoods and oppressive families are not accepted; those whose ancestors were once rich, who fell from grace, and who were rejected in an engagement are not accepted; those who were doted on but never found a good partner, then suddenly attained enlightenment, are not accepted; and cold, aloof beauties devoted to proving the Way are not accepted.

Yunke Hall advocates the Heart-Questioning Path. Applicants who call themselves extras but turn out to be stunningly beautiful are not accepted; those with average talent who are lazy and have given up but are incredibly lucky are not accepted; those who are frail and cough every few steps are not accepted; and those who can uproot a willow and kill Zhen Guanxi with three punches are not accepted either.

In large characters, they added: "Our sect is small, and the path is hard. Those with great fortune, stay away (sob, sob)."

Ran Ye clicked her tongue. "Behind every inexplicable rule, there's a shocking story."

After looking around and finding nowhere that suited her, Ran Ye was about to leave. But when she turned around, she saw Retreat Fish House, which championed the Three Thousand Paths. Its admission requirements: Applicants must be able to handle either 8 a.m. starts or 996 cultivation schedules; they must look either plain or exhausted and haggard; their talent must be neither too high nor too low; they must automatically accept missions or notices sent through the library; and even if they look resentful and complain, "I'm done cultivating immortality," they must still show up on time the next day. Those applicants are admitted immediately.

Ran Ye: A cultivation sect even more suited to the working-class constitution?!

·

At the Immortal Sect Tournament, every sect realized that the once-dilapidated Retreat Fish House was on a rampage this year, especially that disciple named Ran Ye.

When she beat a demon cultivator of the Feminine Path to a pulp, the demon cried out, "Are you a pervert?"

Ran Ye: "I'm a gradualist."

When a junior brother of the Fleeting Life Path kept testing the waters on the brink of becoming evil, he looked at her hopefully. "Do you believe in me?"

Ran Ye: "WeChat."

When a big shot from some unknown path hit a bottleneck, he humbly sought her advice with a manual in hand. "Do you know this ancient spell?"

Ran Ye: "A date."

The success of the Three Thousand Paths led countless people to ask her about it. "Is the Three Thousand Paths at Retreat Fish House a reference to the three thousand Great Paths?"

Ran Ye: "No, it's a monthly salary of three thousand."

Amid the commotion, someone greeted her politely. "I've long heard of you, fellow cultivator. I practice the Cha Bai Dao."

Ran Ye: "What path?!"

[Reader's Guide]

As you can probably tell from the blurb, this is a silly story that doesn't require any brainpower. Just switch off your brain and enjoy.

◆ Cover background by the artist Xiao Niba

Theme: Life is bright, and everything is lovely