I'm Really Not Shipping Them

Qiao Suxing woke up one morning and discovered he'd transmigrated into a book.

A megastar had become a washed-up idol who shamelessly shipped himself with every costar. The fan edits of him selling a gay image had become more famous than he was.

His many past offenses were all on record, and everywhere he went, he was met with abuse.

During a livestream from the set, Qiao Suxing smiled at the male lead. His fans immediately flooded the comments: They refused to let him fake a gay romance for publicity.

In behind-the-scenes footage for a music video, Qiao Suxing thanked the singer. His rivals seized the opportunity to attack him, demanding a boycott of this fake-gay celebrity trying to climb to the top.

At a fashion ceremony, Qiao Suxing and an award-winning actor wore matching suits. The internet exploded, with everyone demanding that his studio prove he hadn't sunk so low as to use a publicity stunt.

And yet-

When the TV series aired, Qiao Suxing dominated the screen. His acting even outshone the lead, earning him countless fans. Those who'd criticized him fell silent.

When a recording of his vocal audition came out, Qiao Suxing's voice was steady and full of feeling. Online reservations exploded overnight, and those who'd attacked him stopped talking.

When photos of his red-carpet look were released, Qiao Suxing looked breathtaking, his presence transcendent, as if he'd been born to stand in the spotlight. Even the award-winning actor liked the post. Those who'd mocked him went quiet.

Comment: Where did this gorgeous baby come from? I need to inhale him!!

Qiao Suxing: Um, actually, I'm the real deal when it comes to talent :)

-

Qiao Suxing's fanbase skyrocketed, but his history of fake gay flirting was dredged up and blown out of proportion. A variety show jumped on the hype and invited him along with N former "boyfriends" he'd once pretended to date.

On top of that, the day before the show aired, paparazzi revealed that Qiao Suxing had been seen with Lu Yuzhuo.

Lu Yuzhuo, an award-winning actor whose every project was a smash hit. He was famous for his bad temper, yet countless fans still flocked to him.

Qiao Suxing was trying to sell a fake romance with him? Did he have a death wish?

The haters got cocky, waiting to see someone get exposed.

Under everyone's watchful eyes, the variety show aired.

The guests were making dinner in a villa. Qiao Suxing was surrounded by everyone, and the atmosphere was warm and harmonious.

The haters were still unimpressed.

[So what? Where's that award-winning actor Lu, the one he keeps trying to cling to?]

The next second, the camera panned left.

Lu Yuzhuo still wore his usual deadpan expression. He held out an ice cream and smoothly slipped between Qiao Suxing and another male star just before they could make physical contact.

"At 8:24 last night, you said in the bathroom that you wanted some."

The comments paused for a moment, then exploded.

[? Lu Yuzhuo, get a grip]

[What bathroom? Wait, how are they selling it now??]

[Well, damn. Even the award-winning actor is playing along. Who wouldn't pay tribute to the legendary king of fake gay flirting?]

[Fine, it's artificial sugar. As long as he's willing to put in the effort for me]

[They're selling it right in front of me. What's wrong with me shipping them?]

Then came the premiere of Qiao Suxing's movie, with Lu Yuzhuo attending as a special guest.

While the couple fans were celebrating, hate posts started popping up too:

"Are you two so addicted to the act that you're going to keep selling this forever?"

That evening, Lu Yuzhuo updated his Weibo.

@Lu Yuzhuo: Not selling it [image]

In the picture, the young man had tousled black hair and was sprawled across the bed. Only a glimpse of his slender, pale wrist was visible.

#Folks, the artificial sugar just turned into rock candy in my mouth

[Note]

1. Fake gay flirting means pretending to be gay for publicity. The story uses both terms interchangeably, so you get the idea.

2. The story focuses mainly on their acting careers. The variety show comes around the middle.

3. One-on-one, happy ending.

Blurb dated 2025/7/18

-Recommending my upcoming book, The Sleeping Husband Role-Playing System-

Yan Su was an honest, hard-working wage slave. As he worked overtime on a 996 schedule and died suddenly, an electronic voice rang in his ear-

[System: There he is! A highly compatible candidate! According to our analysis, your transmigration role category is: The Sleeping Husband.]

The CEO division has a series of worlds that can be summed up as follows: a domineering male lead who takes what he wants, a frail and pitiful wife, and a wooden, oblivious humanlike husband who can't even tell he's part of the play.

[System: Host, don't be sad. We're the best NPC husbands!]

Yan Su: ...

[World 1]

You're a beta wage slave who commutes between home and work, but your wife is a beautiful omega. You're so smitten with him that you married him even though you knew the child he was carrying wasn't yours. Now he's about to give birth, and the child's biological father, the alpha male lead, has come looking for him.

System: They'll exchange flirtatious glances across the dinner table. Just pretend you don't see.

Yan Su: Can I reply to my messages, then?

System: ?

Yan Su: The male lead's uncle said he'll keep sending me money if I don't reply.

[World 2]

You're a diligent outer disciple, but you have a celestial-looking beauty living at your home. You once saved his life, so he stayed to cultivate alongside you and repay his debt. You lead a peaceful life together, until the head disciple, the man who's been playing the "he runs, he chases" game with him, comes looking for him.

System: They'll get hot and heavy in the courtyard. Just pretend you can't hear them.

Yan Su: Can I go outside, then?

System: ?

Yan Su: My master told me to go see him after sunset.

[World 3]

You're a high schooler who barely registers in anyone's mind, but you have a secret: you're in love with the school heartthrob who once saved you. He knows how you feel and lets you love him. You always thought you'd win him over someday, until your half-brother brought him home as his boyfriend.

System: They'll have a passionate fight in bed. Just pretend you don't know.

Yan Su: Can I change clothes, then?

System: ?

Yan Su: My top student brother, who tutors me, told me to wear this to bed tonight.

[World 4]

You're the lowest-ranked Guide, but your lover is the youngest high-ranking Sentinel in the history of the Federation. You love him, so you willingly stay behind the scenes to pave the way for him and plan your future together. Then he joins a more distinguished family and starts a secret affair with the young master who dislikes you, appearing with him at a banquet.

System: They'll go out onto the terrace and kiss each other's faces off. Just make sure you don't walk past.

Yan Su: I won't walk past.

System: That's the spirit. (relieved)

Yan Su: His sworn enemy said he'll be waiting for me on the terrace on another floor.

Theme: Hard work pays off