After Deliberately Calling My Husband "Crush"

※The full text is finished, it's so delicious🥰Please give me a five-star review~ [Advance collection of the next volume of "I Can't Lick a Beautiful Fish", please bookmark it~Please bookmark the author's column~🥰] Jiang Ran has an unforgettably beautiful face, and is known as the "living miracle" in painting circles for her superb painting skills. She has money and leisure, but she is still single. It's not that he doesn't want to talk. First, it's because his social circle is too small. Second, it's because he has a control over his appearance. Third, it's because he is afraid of society. Until one day, Jiang Ran went to a newly opened Internet celebrity coffee shop in order to find inspiration, and fell in love with an aloof and handsome guy at first sight. The handsome guy has a face that makes people and gods angry. His temperament is cold but polite, and he helps Jiang Ran, who has a strong social fear attribute, to relieve himself. His sleeves are lightly rolled up, and the muscles of his forearms are smooth and strong. It perfectly fits all of Jiang Ran's fantasies about the abstinence-based attack! Jiang Ran, whose xp was poked, blushed and mustered up the greatest courage in her life to ask the handsome guy for his contact information. However, Jiang Ran, who had never been in love before, really didn't know how to seduce someone, so she asked Faxiao for help. Fa Xiao: How do you engage in online dating? ? Afraid that Jiang Ran would meet someone unkindly, she asked anxiously: Who is it? Any photos? How long have you known each other? What are the conditions? Jiang Ran replied shyly: We just met, no photos, he is very good-looking. Condition……? His hands are very wide, his nose is very straight, and he is a head and a half taller than me. I feel like he is in good condition. Fa Xiao: I didn't mean this condition... Forget it = = Jiang Ran, who was able to control his appearance, said that if he was good-looking, he would definitely be worth the money, so he gave him some advice. Fa Xiao: Isn't it easy for you guys to have online dating if you are good-looking? Fa Xiao: Just talk sweetly, scream nicely, flirt occasionally, and say ambiguous words. Don't worry about it anymore, pretend it's nothing and send him some sexy photos, such as taking a picture of your collarbone to show him, saying it's so hot. Another example is to wear shorts and show him the mosquito bites on your thighs. Another example is to go for a swim or something and show him your swimsuit photos in the mirror. Jiang Ran was surprised: Huh? How embarrassing that is... Fa Xiao: What's the matter? Isn't this the case with online dating? Jiang Ran: Forget it, I'll just call you husband. Fa Xiao:? ? ? When I was young, I couldn't understand how a social worker could come up with such a stupid idea. After questioning, I learned that Jiang Ran had searched online for tips on how to win a male idol through online dating. He said that as long as he kept calling "Crush, husband" every day, over time, "Crush" would really think that he was his husband. He also said that this method is simple and effective, and can also avoid the embarrassing link of confirming the relationship, which is good news for people with social fears. Fa Xiao: ... You will be honest if you are blacklisted. Jiang Ran was so fascinated by Crush that she didn't even think about food or tea. No matter how much she did, she went ahead. After a while, Jiang Ran came to report the situation: He didn't block me, but he did seem unhappy. After a while, Jiang Ran: He doesn't seem to refute me anymore. After a while, Jiang Ran: I think he started to acquiesce. Jiang Ran became more and more excited. Not only did she call her husband, he also showed her collarbone and patted her thighs. Later, Jiang Ran did not report the follow-up, but Fa Xiao became curious and came to inquire about the situation: How are you and your crush husband? Jiang Ran lay on the bed, rubbing her sore waist, and whined back to him: I have been honest, please let him go T T ———— Lu Xu met someone recently. His face was immortal and pure, and he looked so helpless when he was in trouble that Lu Xu, who had always been cold-hearted, couldn't help but step forward to help him out, and even accidentally gave him his contact information. It turned out that this person was so rude online that he called him husband when he came up. Lu Xu was not gay, and he didn't like casual homosexuals, so he didn't want to talk to him. But this person was so familiar and confidential that he had no room for rejection. All day long—— "Husband, I smelled a nice perfume today, and it suits you very well!" "Husband, are you off work?" "Still working so late? Thank you for your hard work, husband. Are you hungry? How about I order you some takeout?" Lu Xu: "..." Later—— Lu Xu shamelessly texted him: "Baby, why don't you show your husband's legs today?" ​ #There should be no conflict between the fact that I am a straight man and my wife is a man, right? # #All day long, my husband is older and his father is short, and he will be honest after just one fuck# ***** 1. I don't like to open my mouth, but I'm secretly cool with my dead body attack × Fake fishing type, really stupid little straight ball, double c, he 2. Crush, refers to the object of infatuation or secret love 3. "Just call crush your husband" is really an online tutorial, inspired by this, but please be careful when trying it qaq 4. There are reasons for the formation of Shou's character. He has a little psychological disorder and will grow up later. I hope the babies reading the article can be gentler to him~ Copywriting 2024.6.23 —————————— Pre-collection of "I Can't Lick a Beautiful Lao Zi", please collect it~ [Offensive lunatic·Tall, rich and handsome×Super high sense of deservingness·Bai Qiongmei] Cheng Zhiyu is a pretentious nerd. He passed the exam from a remote village, entered a top university in the country, and became a golden phoenix flying out of the county. Everyone envied his blind mother for giving birth to a good son, who would be able to enjoy happiness in the future. The first second Cheng Zhiyu stepped into City A, he made up his mind - he would use his own efforts to buy a house in this land with a lot of money, become a master, marry Bai Fumei, and bring the whole family to live a good life. On the first day of school, everyone said that Cheng Zhiyu was lucky. His roommate turned out to be the son of the richest man in city A. Although he was a little moody, this was a common problem among the proudest people. As long as he tolerated it, his future would be bright. After hearing that one meal of the other party could cover his family's expenses for a year, Cheng Zhiyu rolled his eyes and said contemptuously: "I hate this kind of rich second generation who rely on their family the most. What's so good about this kind of dude? I will never be friends with him!" The students looked at each other in shock, not daring to answer the question. However, after seeing Gao Xingchuan's extraordinary wealth with his own eyes, Cheng Zhiyu was severely shaken. He opened his eyes wide. Money was secondary, but connections were indeed a scarce resource. Many friends had many paths. If he was friends with Gao Xingchuan, wouldn't he save twenty years of hard work? So he smoothly changed his mind and wanted to be friends with Gao Xingchuan! But he is not flattering, nor does he feel inferior to others. After all, he firmly believes that he is the best among men, and... He is so good-looking, how could Gao Xingchuan reject him? *** In the eyes of outsiders, Gao Xingchuan is the proud man of heaven, and everything is within easy reach for him. However, he has a problem that has been tormenting him for a long time - he suffers from skin hunger and thirst, accompanied by severe mysophobia. Gao Xingchuan has no more moves. Day and night, he suffered from the emptiness that was gnawed by thousands of ants. The smell of strangers would make him nauseous, and his mental state was extremely unstable when the disease broke out. On the first day of school, when he saw his country bumpkin roommate putting a dirty and bulky bag on his bed, he strode forward with a sullen face, grabbed the bumpkin's collar and couldn't control his anger. The country bumpkin turned around blankly, but he had a beautiful and fair face. Not only did his rustic clothes not damage his appearance, but he also had a special and pure temperament that made people's hearts itch. The country bumpkin didn't know what brand of laundry detergent he used. It was so fragrant that Gao Xingchuan's eyes immediately turned red. Cheng Zhiyu was pulled by his collar, looked at him inexplicably, and said warmly: "Hello, I made the bed for you, you're welcome." I thought to myself, the way people in the city greet each other is really strange. Gao Xingchuan gritted his teeth and froze in place. *** Gao Xingchuan wholeheartedly looked down on this self-proclaimed little bumpkin, but he desperately discovered that he was the only one who did not resist Cheng Zhiyu's approach. As soon as Cheng Zhiyu appeared, his eyes were glued to him unconsciously. Even the skin that the country bumpkin exposed unconsciously, he wanted to lick and taste. Gao Xingchuan was patient and his self-esteem did not allow him to lick such a vain country bumpkin. But the country bumpkin dangled in front of him every day, and Gao Xingchuan was so tempted that he had no choice but to take action. Once the disease broke out, all his self-esteem and persistence disappeared. - Cheng Zhiyu invited him to the canteen for a ten-yuan meal, and Gao Xingchuan gritted his teeth and ate it. Then he treated him to a big meal. Cheng Zhiyu himself wore three pairs of old men's underwear worth ten yuan, and gritted his teeth and gave Gao Xingchuan twenty yuan worth of street stall goods as a birthday gift. Gao Xingchuan's forehead jumped wildly and he said thank you, then turned around and bought a store of brand-name clothes for Cheng Zhiyu. The little country bumpkin has a high sense of deservingness. He happily accepts whatever is given to him and feels at ease. Gao Xingchuan laughed angrily. The country bumpkin is very stupid, and Gao Xingchuan believes everything he says. He gave the country bumpkin money in exchange for a hug that would relieve his skin hunger and thirst. Cheng Zhiyu also wanted to say thank you to him. Cheng Zhiyu is pampered and becomes more and more beautiful. He has excellent grades and wears expensive clothes. He sees himself becoming the CEO of a listed company and marrying Bai Fumei is just around the corner. ... Wait a minute, Cheng Zhiyu felt something was wrong: "Brother, why did you get under my bed?" Gao Xingchuan hugged him and comforted him: "I'm a little cold." Cheng Zhiyu groaned and asked after a while: "Brother, why did you take off my clothes and still touch me?" Gao Xingchuan replied calmly: "This is the custom of people in our city, baby." Cheng Zhiyu blushed and remained silent. After a while, he sobbed softly: "Wait... Brother, why did you come in???" *** Where there is a will, there is a way. Cheng Zhiyu has indeed become a great person, allowing his family to live a good life. But... How come it was he who was married to Bai Fumei? ! *** Food guide: ①Double c ② Suffering is not a real reward, he just has a high sense of deservingness and feels that he deserves it (akimbo) ③Gong is also a godly man. In the early stage, he disliked his wife for being earthy, and she was anxious not to let him lick her. ④Shou is a simple and natural person, he regards all abnormal things as city people following the fashion, and he has a very straight personality. ⑤Two gods fall in love, there are many shortcomings, but they are a perfect match (?) Intention: Brave people enjoy the world first.