Me, a Yokohama Mail Carrier, and My Former Colleagues

I, Yukimura Ryota, am currently the stellar employee of the post offices serving Yokohama's black, white, and gray worlds.

That's right, I work three jobs at once, and they're all as a mail carrier. The best part is that they're all along the way. For example, I can drop off a letter at the Armed Detective Agency, then pick up a side job planting a bomb there. One trip, two jobs done, money earned. Easy as pie.

But lately, I've been running into some serious problems at work:

The Yokohama Post Office hired a new coworker. He gets lost all the time, and he throws letters around carelessly, so my workload has suddenly increased. There's nothing I can do. The new guy still seems like a kid who's just entered the working world! I have to show him the way over and over, help sort his mail, and go apologize to people after he throws their letters away.

"Ryota, I'm so useless..." he asked, head hanging as he sniffled.

I thought it over, then patted his head and said, "I don't think that's it... Maybe you're just not cut out for this job?" I felt like he'd be better off studying. With a mind that sharp, wouldn't it be great if he came up with some inventions or something?

I don't think he understood what I meant! I already had the money ready to send him to college!!! Then I was away for a few days, and the guy quit to become a detective!?

All I could do was smile and hand the college gift I'd prepared for him to Mr. Fukuzawa as a welcome-to-the-job present, asking him to take good care of the kid.

I'd been dealing with some trouble of my own around then, so I felt a little more at ease knowing Ranpo would be with him.

For some reason, the number one hitman on the assassin rankings had become a mail carrier for the Port Mafia! And they'd assigned him to me as my junior!

I watched him cross a hail of bullets, deliver a bomb straight into the hands of the enemy boss, then dumbly pull out a delivery slip and ask the guy to sign it. I covered my face in despair. This guy was even harder to train than Ranpo!

Thanks to him, the number of people hunting me has been going up fast lately.

Luckily, I can use my ability to deliver most of my regular orders, so it hasn't stopped me from earning my three paychecks.

"What do you want to do with all the money you make, Senior Yukimura?"

"I want to save up a few hundred million as soon as I can, retire to the countryside, and buy a little house. Just live an ordinary life with someone I love." That's what I told him.

He nodded thoughtfully.

Just when I thought he'd learned to read the room well enough to work on his own, he went and quit too, out of the blue. Then he joined the Port Mafia!!!

While drinking with my former employer, I couldn't help grumbling that my junior had been talked into joining the Port Mafia by who knows who. He eagerly offered to look into it, so I immediately gave him the name of the organization my junior had joined.

My former employer, an older man with a bandage wrapped around one eye, perked up at once. "What a coincidence, I'm in that organization too. What's your junior's name, Ryota?"

"No way, what a coincidence. His name is Oda Sakunosuke. Dazai, do you know him?"

Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought Dazai Osamu froze for a moment. He quickly changed the subject, though, so I didn't think much of it. That's just how people are. Part on good terms, and move on.

The days went by like that. One perfectly ordinary afternoon, I finally saved enough money to quit all three jobs. I bought a train ticket and got ready to move to the countryside, but three people suddenly blocked my doorway.

"Ryota! You can't leave Lord Ranpo behind! Lord Ranpo can take care of you now!"

"Senior Yukimura, I found a place and bought a little house by the sea. We can live there together."

I held my head, unable to understand how this had happened. Did I really look like someone who couldn't take care of himself?

I looked at the bandage-wrapped guy sprawled in the doorway and asked weakly, "What are you here for?"

He obediently took a small duffel bag from behind his back and said bashfully, "I quit. I want Ryota to take care of me."

[Coming Soon]

What Should I Do After Picking Up the Wrong Black-Haired Kid?

I'm an ability user. My ability lets me read minds.

After my parents died, my relatives sold me to a criminal organization to work as a laborer. Luckily, a kind couple rescued me and pulled me out of that pit. They even sent me to school.

To repay their kindness, I resolved to study hard and become a police officer who fights crime, just like that gentleman.

I never expected that, because my ability was so outstanding, I'd be assigned to infiltrate a certain organization.

When the undercover mission was over, I faked my death and returned to Japan. That's when I learned the kind couple who'd rescued me had passed away, leaving only their child. I heard the kid had gone to school in Yokohama, so I decided to visit.

But the person in charge at the school told me he'd dropped out ages ago.

Oh no, he was still so young! He'd left without even taking his suitcase, and he didn't have any relatives or friends around here. Who had arranged for him to drop out?

My heart sank, and I launched a full investigation into the school's leadership.

Come to think of it, what did that kid look like?

I stared at the black-haired child I'd just fished out of the river, lost in thought.

Hmm. Black hair, really smart, gets angry for no reason... This was obviously Edogawa Ranpo himself!

Look at all those wounds. He must have suffered so much. Ranpo...

It's all right, Ranpo. Your big brother has a good enough salary to take care of you now. I'll look after you properly on behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Edogawa! You have to get into Tokyo University at the very least!

I don't know why, but he really didn't like his own name and kept insisting I call him "Dazai." Was this some kind of belated rebellious phase? Wasn't he already nineteen this year?

There's no way I got his name wrong... Haha... Was it Koro? Kuro? Ranpo? Ranpo! I think his name really was Edogawa Ranpo!

I'm sorry, Ranpo. I kept calling you the wrong name. It's my fault. I'm such a terrible big brother.

But after I started getting his name right, he seemed even more unhappy.

Soon after, on a rainy night, Ranpo ran away from home again. He was gone for a whole month.

What should I do? My last undercover mission ran into a little trouble, and now I have to go to Italy to clean things up, but I still haven't found Ranpo!

When my kind coworker heard about it, they recommended a detective agency. They said I could hire them to find him, and that they had an incredible great detective who could track him down in no time.

I went there, but their detective glared at me and tried to kick me out. What had I done to offend him???

To figure out what was going on, I had no choice but to use my ability, which I'd kept sealed away for a long time. That's when I heard the great detective thinking:

"Idiot Kaito! The biggest idiot, the stupidest person in the whole world!"

I fell into thought.

That sounded so familiar. I seemed to remember Ranpo often cursing me like that in his head when he was little.

I looked at the detective in front of me: black hair, apparently very smart, and always getting angry for no reason...

This is bad. Did Ranpo split into two people?!

"Kaito, you big idiot!" The detective across from me shouted angrily. He'd given up pretending and was now insulting me out loud.

I sat obediently on the sofa in the reception room, holding a marble soda bottle, my mind blown.

Even I could tell by now that I'd mistaken the two of them! What did people with face blindness ever do to deserve this? Why was the world so unfair to us?

Now Ranpo absolutely insisted on coming home with me tonight to meet the "Ranpo" I'd mistaken for him.

It's fine, I reassured myself. He ran away a month ago. There's no way there'll be some weird love-triangle showdown.

"Haha... Dazai, you're back... Haha."

"Have you eaten...? I'll make you two something... How about crab-roe noodles and sweet red bean soup with rice cakes...?"

The two of them each draped an arm over one of my shoulders and pinned me firmly in place.

Help! What am I supposed to do now?

Dazai Osamu: :) Don't even think about running away, Kaito.

Ranpo: Kaito the idiot has to stay with the great detective!

Theme: Never give up on yourself.