Master Witch Doctor, Live-Stream Your Consultations!

[The neighboring novel, Everyone at the Academy Wants to Pet Me!, is now available] Wu Heng was the greatest shamanic healer of ancient times. When he opened his eyes, he discovered he had transmigrated into a book and become the grandson of an old Chinese doctor. Thinking of how his father, who worked as a housekeeper, had been thrown out by a domineering CEO after indulging in all the juicy gossip at a wealthy family’s home, only to die destitute after being used and discarded, Wu Heng decided to livestream and help his cheap old dad earn a whole lot of pocket money! A new livestream room called Chengde Clinic appeared on Shark Platform. The streamer claimed to have a hundred years of medical experience and loved to brag, but his stunning looks drew plenty of viewers who were there just to admire his face. Until ① A wealthy madam who had tried every doctor without success brought her enormously pregnant son into the livestream room. Wu Heng took his pulse remotely. “You’re pregnant. You’ve got a whole lot of baby snakes in there.” Then Wu Heng performed a shamanic ritual on the spot. The young man immediately started retching, spitting out countless live little snakes. The wealthy madam and the viewers: What the hell??!! ② A school heartthrob who’d been a landlubber for twenty years suddenly sprouted scales all over his body in the middle of the night. He instinctively mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and breaststroke, and resolved to dominate the Olympics and bring glory to his country. Wu Heng diagnosed him over a video call. “If you let this condition progress, you’ll turn into a mermaid.” The heartthrob was thrilled at the thought of becoming a fairy-tale mermaid prince with fans all over the world. Wu Heng was curious. “Would people accept a mermaid with a fish head and a human body?” The heartthrob froze. “Wait, what kind of head??” ③ A traditional Chinese painting prodigy who had been blind for years asked with his last shred of hope, “Is there any chance I’ll ever see again?” Wu Heng shook his head and answered bluntly. “Your eyes are completely dead.” The painting prodigy was devastated. The next moment, Wu Heng grabbed the evil spirit responsible for his blindness and livestreamed an organ transplant. The painting prodigy could see again and even gained the ability to see spirits and the living world. “...!” The viewers: ...A-a divine doctor! Later, a patient whose head kept falling off sneakily showed up in the middle of the night, cradling seven or eight heads, and asked Wu Heng to pick the prettiest one to sew on. A female teacher who had been dead for three years dragged her long-rotted, stinking body over to ask Wu Heng how to prolong her life by lighting a sky lantern. Patients from everywhere, suffering from all kinds of bizarre illnesses, flocked to him, and the livestream room became an absolute sensation. - In recent years, the supernatural had invaded China. Demons and monsters ran rampant, vengeful ghosts were everywhere, and countless people inexplicably came down with all sorts of strange illnesses. Just as everyone was at their wits’ end, Wu Heng came into view. He could heal the sick, tell fortunes, draw talismans, catch ghosts, and perform shamanic rituals. More and more people tuned in to the livestream. The viewers swung wildly between “Holy crap, a shamanic doctor who can reach the heavens and communicate with ghosts and gods is incredible” and “My wife is so cool and powerful, I want to kiss her to death.” They even started a fan-run alliance to protect Wu Heng. Then one day, viewers saw Wu Heng nestled in the arms of a chilly young man radiating sinister energy, his face flushed with drunken heat. The young man’s cold lips nibbled at the pale nape of his neck as he asked when Wu Heng would finally stop seeing patients and spend time with him. The gloomier the young man’s expression grew, the more resentment flooded the air around them. Wu Heng gritted his teeth. “Stop leaking resentment and giving me new patients!” Wu Heng followed the method the young man had enthusiastically taught him the night before and kissed him on the lips. In an instant, the yin energy around the young man vanished. His smiling lips let out a satisfied sigh. [First version: 2024.5.17; second version: 2024.9.04, screenshots saved] New novel: Everyone at the Academy Wants to Pet Me! Yan He, an overworked wage slave, transmigrated into a book about an aristocratic academy, becoming a cannon-fodder lackey to one of the F4. Before he entered the academy, Yan He was warned not to let the young masters discover that he was an ordinary human. All he had to do was be a good dog for them. Faced with a choice between getting angry and swallowing his humiliation, Yan He chose to swallow his humiliation. What’s so hard about being a lackey? A top-tier 996 office drone is good at this! At Bestia Noble Academy, every student could transform into an animal. Survival itself was a challenge, and bestial desire and murder lurked at every turn. The heirs of powerful families and special-admission students who could transform into ferocious beasts stood high above others, each holding their own against the other. Yan He, meanwhile, became the one and only oddball. Young Master A was a fierce, short-tempered golden eagle. Whenever he transformed, he insisted that Yan He pluck his feathers to help him keep his mind. Yan He hated how tiring and painful plucking was, so he secretly pulled out a nine-yuan-and-ninety-cent miracle grooming brush. A shivered all over, instantly regained his composure, and let out an excited bird call. The next day, Yan He received the key card to a detached villa from A. Inside was a collection of diamond-studded pet brushes with dazzling fire. A sneered. “A cheap brush isn’t worthy of touching my noble feathers. These are yours. By the way, when are you going to brush me again?” Exchange student B was a snow leopard with an eating disorder. He watched Yan He secretly make fragrant cat food for stray cats, his throat bobbing as he struggled to suppress his desire. A day later, B had all kinds of rare, top-quality ingredients flown in from abroad and placed in front of Yan He. Calm and detached, he said, “Here’s your chance to prove yourself. Make me cat food, and eat with me while you’re at it.” Special-admission student C was an insecure, vicious polar wolf. He watched in silence as Yan He eagerly stroked the fur of wealthy young masters, while treating him with disdain. A few days later, C took out the head of the Special Admissions Association and became the new wolf king president, powerful enough to stand against the noble heirs. Yan He was forced to sit in the VIP front row at the wolf king’s inauguration. C looked down at him from his lofty position. The next second, C lay down in front of Yan He, holding up an eighty-million-yuan ring symbolizing his status. He exposed his smooth, soft belly and begged to be petted. “You and I are cut from the same cloth. You’ll rub my belly now, right?” * The struggles at the academy didn’t stop when Yan He arrived. They only grew fiercer. Watching the fluffy students roll around and wag their tails all over the place, begging to be petted, Yan He fell into deep thought. ??? Who’s the one acting like a dog here? Yan He became the unattainable moonlight in the hearts of everyone at Bestia Noble Academy. Then one day, he was pinned in the grass by the Northeast tiger who led the F4, his face flushed red “An animal’s instincts include more than survival.” The young man gently bit Yan He’s trembling Adam’s apple. “There’s also procreation.” *At this academy, their god rightfully stands at the top of the food chain. Reader’s Guide: 1. Both the top and the bottom are adults. 2. This is not an mpreg novel. Message: Cherish life and embrace the good things in life.