I'm a Laid-Back Nobody, Enjoying a Peaceful Retirement

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A half-immortal female lead forced to work × a rich, pure-hearted, scheming male lead

Fu Yuan only wanted to lie flat, but her extraordinary talent for talisman magic led the Patriarch Daoling to take her on as his last disciple. She studied talisman magic day and night, always either drawing talismans or hunting ghosts. As Fu Yuan put it, “Even a donkey isn’t worked this hard!”

On the day Patriarch Daoling ascended to immortality, Fu Yuan thought she could finally turn her life around and sing the song of liberation, with no one left to stop her from lying flat. Instead, the thunder of his ascension sent her away too, to the Age of Declining Dharma.

The first thing Fu Yuan did after arriving in the modern world was point at the sky and curse, “You old dog Daoling, I’ll screw your grandfather!”

Modern-day Fu Yuan was a young woman drowning in debt. She died after accidentally getting hit by a flower vase while working as a delivery driver to earn money. The one who woke up afterward was the half-immortal Fu Yuan.

One online commenter:

“This girl really isn’t afraid to die, huh? This paranormal livestream isn’t a joke. You could lose your life in a heartbeat.”

“I bet she won’t last an hour. I’ll get the candles ready in advance.”

Who could have guessed that the seemingly delicate Fu Yuan was actually a demon-slaying goddess? She carried the whole team, won over the viewers, and earned the admiration of all the big shots.

*

One second, the whole livestream watched Fu Yuan tear ghosts and monsters apart with terrifying strength.

The next, she pressed a hand to her chest like a tragic beauty and said she was just a frail little woman.

The entire livestream: ...You really are so “frail.”

The ghostly boss went berserk with rage and decided to kill everyone there. Everyone panicked and used every trick they knew to stay alive.

But Fu Yuan didn’t panic at all. While everyone else stood, she lay down.

While everyone else fought for their lives, she lounged around like a lazy fish.

When people criticized her for taking it easy, she sprawled like a man on a couch and picked at her feet.

What? You’re saying everyone’s about to lose?

No problem. She’ll handle it.

Out of my way, I’m about to show off.

*

Since she had already died once, Fu Yuan could always hear a System shouting in her mind: “The Host’s merit points are insufficient. Recharge your lifespan as soon as possible. A life of lying flat is just around the corner.”

Looking at her empty house, the younger guys she had to support, and herself on the verge of kicking the bucket, Fu Yuan sighed and rubbed her forehead. “When am I ever going to retire?!”

This is the story of a lazy fish who keeps bouncing between working hard and lying flat.

[Bonus Scene]

One day, Rong Qi got tricked by Fu Yuan into drinking. Before he knew it, he had half-transformed into a demon, walking around the house with two animal ears on his head.

Fu Yuan stared at those fluffy ears, unable to resist. She reached out her wicked claws and gave them a vigorous rub.

No one can resist fluffiness!

Reader notes:

1. A slow burn! The male lead doesn’t appear much.

2. The male lead is nonhuman.

3. Includes livestreaming.

4. The entire story is fictional and set in an imaginary world. It’s for entertainment only, so please don’t be superstitious.

Here’s the blurb for another upcoming novel. Feel free to skip it if you’re not interested!

Lotus Pond in Spring

Two wealthy families, marriage first and love later, evenly matched leads

Top-tier star × a powerful businessman from Beijing’s elite circles

See how a fiery little pepper wins over a self-disciplined, refined young gentleman.

The Yan family is one of the most powerful families in Beijing’s elite circles. As the head of the family, Yan Lian is treated with the utmost respect by everyone.

But Yan Lian has reached thirty without ever dating anyone, and as an only child, he’s giving his parents a serious headache.

Yan Father and Yan Mother: Son, are you sure you like women?

Yan Lian: ...

Yi Jinghe is a top-tier star in the entertainment industry. So beautiful she gets away with anything, she’s sure to outshine everyone on any red carpet she attends. Wherever she appears, crowds gather until the place is packed.

But the internet claims Yi Jinghe’s success is all because she has powerful patrons throwing resources at her, and the most influential one is Yan Lian.

Then, out of nowhere, a photo started circulating online. Under dim lights, Yi Jinghe had Yan Lian pinned against a wall, one hand tugging his tie as she said something to him with a fierce expression.

The trending topics exploded.

#IsSheForcingHim?#

#DamnThatSexualTension, AlphaWomanAndOmegaMan?#

As the eldest daughter of the Yin family in Shanghai, Yi Jinghe has had everything go her way since childhood. Her parents and younger brother give her everything she wants, even when she hides her identity and enters the entertainment industry to make a name for herself.

But at twenty-four, she couldn’t escape the fate of a business-arranged marriage. She married a man six years older than her.

Still, since it was an arranged marriage, both sets of parents handled everything, and she barely met her older husband.

They’ve been married for two years, and she can count on one hand the number of times they’ve seen each other. Yi Jinghe has even forgotten what he looks like. She’s pretty happy with things as they are. Her husband is often away from home, and she gets a generous monthly allowance. It couldn’t be better.

But at some point, Yan Lian began coming home often, and the look he gave her changed from calm and indifferent to full of turbulent undercurrents.

One day, Yan Lian seemed to have been provoked by something. The moment he got home, he irritably tugged at his tie, revealing his elegant collarbones.

He picked Yi Jinghe up and set her on the desk, then pinched her earlobe and murmured, “Ah He, you’re being naughty.”

Seeing that the man was no longer his usual cool, celibate self, Yi Jinghe swallowed.

Those tempting collarbones, those strong arms, that restrained gaze...

She thought the man had put a spell on her.

#Top-TierStarIsAGlamorousRed-CarpetQueenInPublic,ButBehindClosedDoorsShe’sMyBeautifulAndBad-TemperedWife#

#IWantToHideYouAwaySoOnlyICanSeeYourBeauty#

#AClashOfExperts,PerfectlyMatched#

Theme: Even when trapped in a desperate situation, fight your way back against the odds