5024: Couldn't Be a Match, So I Became a Good-for-Nothing

Throughout the original 5024, Happy King’s own children were all raised by their mothers' romantic rivals. They either grew up with flawed personalities or learned nothing at all. By contrast, Old Chai's Four Envoys had martial arts skills, cunning, and good looks. Every one of them could hold their own, leaving Shen Lang completely dumbfounded. If Old Chai had raised a little Chai from infancy, he would have charmed countless naive young men and women and made all his brothers green with envy~~ All right, that was a lie. That was the TV adaptation's synopsis. I'm writing the original version. Although in the original, Little Die is more or less the same... Want to know why Mr. Gu rarely mentions Happy King? Why he only has him show up at the end for a quick cameo before dying? Come read my silly little story~ When I was still a little piece of wood, I vowed to become a "matchstick," giving off light and warmth to brighten the world for others. Then I grew up, and came to a new realization: Did I come into this world just to leave it alive? If I don't turn their lives upside down and make them beg for mercy, I'll reverse the order of my name! What would you all think if the Zhu Qiqi in this story were the foolish, loud-mouthed girl who came from the TV adaptation? Just imagine: what if Zhu Qiqi became a female good-for-nothing? What would the story be like? (I strongly suspect Old Gu gave Zhu Qiqi a whole harem at the end. Why else would two perfectly normal men stay unmarried for life and follow that couple around everywhere?) My dear readers, your little Feidie is back~~ Yesterday, I was lying in bed with nothing to do, daydreaming, when suddenly inspiration struck and ideas came pouring out. At last, I've made up my mind and steeled my resolve. Let me tell you, my hands are still shaking from making this decision... I'm going to revise the story!!! If all goes well, starting today you'll be able to read a fresh new chapter of "If I Can't Be a Matchstick, I'll Be a Good-for-Nothing" every day. Let's celebrate this thrilling moment together~~ P.S. Celebrate all you like, but no throwing tomatoes, rotten eggs, plastic slippers, or bricks... No littering, bullying the weak, or anything like that~~ Adapted from "I Have a Little Donkey": "I Have a Prince for a Dad" I have a prince for a dad, And I never pick on him. One day, on a sudden whim, I took him off to gamble. I had little dice in my hand, And I was feeling mighty pleased, When Shen Lang suddenly appeared before me. I'll cheat him to death, and I won't pay for it~~