After dating for seven years, Gu Yanshi finally married her girlfriend.
She treated her wonderfully after they married, but all she got in return was a comment over drinks: "Her pheromones are useless, and her blood tastes awful, too~"
"But who else can be your regular blood bag? You've got such an obedient puppy, so be grateful."
Her girlfriend smiled faintly. "I'm not done having fun yet. She'll be waiting for me at home anyway~"
That night, Gu Yanshi, devastated, had a strange dream.
In the dream, she was just a cannon-fodder character in a vampire siblings romance.
The domineering male lead was obsessed with his vampire stepsister, and the two embarked on a melodramatic, runaway-pregnancy romance.
And she was the cannon-fodder ex-wife whom the domineering CEO saw as a rival throughout the story, and who ultimately died a gruesome death.
Gu Yanshi woke with a start, then heard a coy voice from the room: "What are you doing?! You're my brother, and my wife is still in the room. Don't wake her!"
The domineering CEO snapped, "Fine, I'll go wake her and tell her you really love me! I'll let her see you looking so disheveled."
"No! Don't..."
Gu Yanshi leaped up in a fury. "You crazy lovebirds, get out of my house!"
The CEO: ...
The heroine: ...
Gu Yanshi promptly divorced her wife, then went to a mass grave to dig up a tomb.
She wanted to unearth the villain ahead of time so that the two lunatics would be too busy to bother with her, keeping her out of the plot.
She dripped her blood onto the sealed coffin. But when she lifted the lid, there was a woman inside, flawless as white jade. The woman was alluring and beautiful. When she opened her eyes, they were full of innocent confusion, and tears clouded her gaze. "I'm so hungry..."
Gu Yanshi: ...
This was the villain?!
The woman pounced and bit her neck. To her surprise, as her blood drained away, her pheromones surged out in a tidal wave.
"!!!"
Only later did Gu Yanshi learn that pheromones could give vampires human-like desire.
In a moment of passion that night, the woman was "marked" by her. The woman looked at her through teary eyes. "I can't remember anything. Can you take me home?"
Of course Gu Yanshi had to take her home. What if the villain had amnesia?
But the woman seemed like someone from ancient times and knew nothing about the modern world.
So Gu Yanshi began teaching her everything about modern life, only to have the woman keep dragging her into mischief.
The woman always liked to lick the blood from her lips while panting in Gu Yanshi's ear. "I like you so much... I like you so much..."
At last, the plot reached the confrontation between the hero and heroine and the villain. Gu Yanshi confidently took the woman to sneak into a vampire banquet, but a man nearby suddenly started arguing with the leads.
From the sound of it, weren't those the villain's lines?
If he was the villain, then who was the woman beside her?!
Gu Yanshi looked at the woman in confusion, but the whole room suddenly fell silent. Then every vampire dropped to their knees.
"We welcome the Corpse Ancestor!"
Her ex-wife was even more delighted, calling to the person beside her, "Mom, what are you doing here?"
Gu Yanshi: Mom?!!
The moment the woman saw her, she cried excitedly, "Yanyan, have you changed your mind? Let's get back together!"
Gu Yanshi was still in shock when the woman beside her wrapped an arm around her waist and shot the other woman a cold look. "You don't get to call her Yanyan. This is my wife, Gu Yanshi. You should call her Mom."
The heroine: !!!
Gu Yanshi: ???
Theme: Even when life hits rock bottom, keep looking ahead and hold on to hope, because tomorrow will be better.