Greek Mythology: The Paris Trap

“He is the spark that burned Troy to the ground.”

The son of Priam and Hecuba, he judged Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite to decide which of them was the fairest and who would claim the golden apple. Paris was a handsome man with a “golden apple pact” with the gods, promising him the most beautiful woman in the world. Because of his birth, the priests believed he would bring a ruinous fate upon Troy, so he was exiled to Mount Ida to tend sheep for many years. Later, in order to reclaim his aunt Hesione from the Greeks, Paris went to mainland Greece at his father's command, where he met Helen. He and Helen fell in love quickly and eloped without a moment's hesitation, in a flight that would go down in history. This also set the Trojan War in motion.

The bottom has to be weak, the bottom has to be easy to get into bed, the bottom has to get lots of screen time, and the bottom is Paris!