Speedrun, Except for Winning Back My Wife

[Preorder: The Comprehensive Guide to Graduation Projects at the Hehuan Sect. A homophobic, perennially bottom-ranked, clueless novice from the Hehuan Sect × a male ghostly sword cultivator who follows the merciless path and seems like a perfect gentleman, plus the clueless one's KPIs.

The blurb is at the very bottom. Save it if you're interested~]

Speedrunning is a way of playing games that involves learning the mechanics, making smart use of bugs to plan a route, and beating the game as fast as possible.

Four years after the release of the full-immersion Western fantasy game Laurel, its player base was steadily declining. The NPCs serving the players were preparing to enjoy the long-awaited retirement life.

Except for the stubborn speedrunners, who were still highly active.

As one of Laurel's insignificant NPCs, Xierwen should have been happily looking forward to retirement.

But his job was a little unusual. He had to weave the game's most important item, the laurel wreath used for the coronation, and give it to players who passed the trial.

In theory, all he had to do was say his scripted lines, repeat the same actions he'd done thousands of times, and the players would leave on their own.

Except for those damn speedrunners.

Some of them clipped through the scenery to appear, skipped the dialogue, then launched themselves away. Others used bugs to fly all over the place, broke the game's mechanics, and did whatever it took to achieve their goals, causing endless trouble in his work and daily life.

Worse still, some of them had who knew what kind of junk in their heads. They used all kinds of methods to repeatedly target and sexually harass NPCs. Absolutely heinous.

-

There's a well-known story on the speedrunning forums. Divine, who burst onto the scene three years ago and holds a slew of records, always takes down at least one of a game's records whenever they start playing it.

And... whenever they livestream, they're almost always playing Laurel.

Bai Yanze had an almost fanatical fixation on a certain NPC in the game.

What pleased Bai Yanze even more was that almost nobody online talked about the character he liked. It was as if the character belonged to him alone.

In real life, he commissioned all kinds of outfit-changing mods and took screenshots to admire. He ordered countless illustrations to suit his personal tastes, and had so much private merchandise made that he bought several houses just to store it all.

In the game, Bai Yanze reached countless endings for him and saved countless files. They could be close friends journeying side by side, bitter enemies with a blood feud, or lovers whispering into each other's ears.

It was all because Bai Yanze believed that one day, his little game character would come to life.

Possessive speedrunner gong × beautiful paper-doll shou who takes things one step at a time

Reading guide:

※ Not suitable for readers who are particular about the gong/shou dynamic.

※ Both the gong and shou have scenes where they dress as women.

※ There will be some chat comments early on, but almost none later. (Please, let me write them. I really want to.)

※ Strictly speaking, the point of view is unclear. The gong and shou are in different dimensions, and the narrative will switch to whichever perspective works best.

Preorder: The Comprehensive Guide to Graduation Projects at the Hehuan Sect

The Hehuan Sect is full of bad people.

That's what every sect and school says.

The Hehuan Sect never misses its mark.

That's what the victims all say.

But no one has ever asked Gu Ming whether life at the Hehuan Sect is easy for a straight, homophobic man.

Men are a no-go.

That's a matter of principle.

After the eighteenth time his sect reprimanded him, his senior sister couldn't take it anymore. "It has to be one man and one woman?"

Gu Ming replied primly, "Yes."

His senior sister pulled out a dress. "Fine. I'll find you a man, and you can be the woman."

Gu Ming: ?

His senior sister had her reasons. "Being straight is just a persona. As long as nobody knows you've slept with a man, you'll still be straight in the eyes of the outside world."

Gu Ming: Is this really okay?

-

It was.

Gu Ming put on the dress and completely let himself go. He slept with a refined Confucian cultivator, a generous talisman cultivator, a healer who could bring the dead back to life, and even a sword cultivator who followed the merciless path. They all became part of his KPI list. And when the mood struck, he even adopted a male dog.

His senior sister was astonished. "Have you gotten over your homophobia?"

Gu Ming: "...No."

Day after day, Gu Ming climbed out of different beds.

Men are disgusting, ugh... Their primordial yang is so pure... Men are disgusting, ugh... Their primordial yang is so pure...

-

Everyone knows that if you get involved with too many men, things are bound to go wrong eventually.

The day after Gu Ming was exposed, he fled for the remote mountains with a belly full of primordial yang.

The rich talisman cultivator offered a bounty of ten thousand gold. The healer's silver needles gleamed as he prepared to turn Gu Ming into a doll. The seemingly harmless Confucian cultivator turned out to be a brutal demon cultivator in disguise. Even the dog he'd picked up had transformed from a demon cultivator and wanted to drag him back to have puppies!

Just as Gu Ming carefully hauled all his belongings into a cave, ready to go into seclusion with the primordial yang he'd conned out of everyone for a decade or so, the sword cultivator who had followed him all along, and had the highest combat strength, appeared behind him like a sinister ghost.

"Not wearing your dress today, baby?"

A clueless novice from the Hehuan Sect, homophobic and perennially bottom-ranked × his KPIs.

For now:

A male ghostly sword cultivator who follows the merciless path and seems like a perfect gentleman

A frail, sickly, perceptive Confucian cultivator / a murderous, illiterate demon cultivator (two souls in one body)

A genuine demon cultivator who wants to be his wife's dog

A generous, wealthy talisman cultivator who pampers his wife and knows all kinds of talisman tricks

[More may be added or removed]

[First draft of the blurb, written against a deadline, for reference only. The gong and shou's names are undecided.]

Theme: Find yourself and become a better version of yourself