If Only I Had Achieved Great Things in My Youth (Both Reborn)

Shen Huaimei, daughter of the Duke of Zhenguo, was raised in wealth and privilege. She fell in love with Mu Ziyu, the lowborn son of a singing girl.

She thought: It doesn't matter. I'll find him teachers and help him build a future.

But Mu Ziyu wanted to travel to a foreign country in search of his birth father and make a future for himself through his own efforts.

It didn't matter. Shen Huaimei helped him.

Then her father arranged a marriage for her. Shen Huaimei refused and wanted to elope with Mu Ziyu, but he turned her down.

It didn't matter. Shen Huaimei struck a deal with her fiance: they would divorce after five years.

She would wait for him for five years.

For all five years, Shen Huaimei kept having a long, drawn-out dream.

In the dream, she eloped with Mu Ziyu, only to die on the road.

She watched Mu Ziyu use the name of his dead wife to win people over, deftly balancing the forces on both sides.

She watched Mu Ziyu go ten years without lighting a single incense stick for her.

She watched Mu Ziyu devise strategies for a foreign country and help it expand its territory.

On the night before the Jing Kingdom's delegation arrived in the capital, Shen Huaimei had her last dream.

She watched Mu Ziyu promise his emperor that he would defeat the enemy forces and behead their leader.

Then she watched Mu Ziyu lead a great army to the border of the Rong Kingdom.

The troops stationed at the border were led by Shen Huaimei's father and brothers. Was it her family that Mu Ziyu intended to kill?

The next day, Shen Huaimei watched from afar as Mu Ziyu led the delegation into the capital, just as full of vigor and confidence as he had been in her dream.

Shen Huaimei suddenly wondered: Did this man truly love her?

Mu Ziyu returns reborn. Facing the woman he loved, who died while eloping in his previous life, he struggles to persuade her to stay.

He says, "My future is uncertain. You shouldn't abandon your family and everything you have for me."

He also says, "You're already of marriageable age. You should find someone from a family of equal standing and marry him soon."

He has memories of the next ten years. He can see himself becoming a marquis and prime minister, but he can't take the woman he loves with him.

Fortunately, Shen Huaimei is willing to help him. Fortunately, the woman he loves is willing to wait for him.

Mu Ziyu works hard in a foreign country and receives plenty of help from Shen Huaimei.

Five years later, Mu Ziyu, now prime minister, visits his homeland.

He thinks this will be a story about returning home in glory and rekindling their romance.

Who could have guessed that the gates of the Duke of Zhenguo's residence would be firmly shut to him?

I have become your equal, come to stand by your side,

Yet I never thought you would no longer wish to see me...

[Reading guide]

- An unconventional pursuit-after-the-breakup story. The male lead is reborn, and the heroine gradually regains her memories. They have different timelines. No change of male lead, one-on-one romance, happy ending.

- The heroine will enter a marriage of convenience with someone else. They each get what they need, and they do not share a bed. Her marriage partner loves someone else.

- Entirely fictional setting. All elements serve the story.

- Updated daily.

--- Upcoming historical novel: Schemes of the Eunuch ---

Possessive fake prince disguised as a man x ruthless, vengeful real eunuch

The whole novel is already written. Feel free to add it to your library~

Please read the blurb:

Luo Qingqiu has two secrets.

First, although she is the youngest prince in the imperial family, she is actually a girl.

Second, she loves her tutor, her mentor, her... In short, she loves Huai Cang, the man who raised her, even though he is a eunuch.

Everyone knows that the eunuch chancellor Huai Cang is sinister, poisonous, and ruthless.

After the emperor dies and the imperial family dwindles, everyone says Huai Cang is the mastermind. He intends to seize the throne, and the last remaining young prince is merely his puppet.

At the enthronement ceremony, before tens of thousands of people, he kneels at her feet and bows as her subject.

He is a ferocious beast returned from the underworld, burning with the fire of revenge, yet willing to sheath his claws for her.

Luo Qingqiu's birth mother died in childbirth, and her birth father is a foolish, unworthy ruler. Though she is a prince, she is an unruly child whom no one looks after.

Desperate for a decent meal, she clings to Huai Cang's leg and cries out. The next day, she is named Crown Prince. From then on, she has warm clothes and a full stomach, and Huai Cang personally teaches her.

Even though everyone considers him a treacherous minister deserving of death, Luo Qingqiu sees only his gentleness.

After Luo Qingqiu ascends the throne, she immediately summons Huai Cang.

She says, "I'm the emperor now. You should finally give in to me, don't you think?"

Huai Cang looks at her, his eyes reddened with restraint and filled with tears.

His voice hoarse, he says, "Your Majesty, please root out the wicked, uphold virtue, and restore order."

When Xie Huaicang was young, he studied the sages' teachings and followed their way.

Later, he became a corrupt minister who abused his power. He has no regrets. He has killed countless people and his hands are soaked in blood. He has no regrets.

On a whim, he raised a little plaything. When that plaything crawled into his bed and said it loved him, he regretted it.

His broken body cannot satisfy desire, and his shattered soul cannot be filled with genuine love.

To Xie Huaicang, Luo Qingqiu is a brilliant sun hanging high in the heavens, while he is a black spot that cannot be burned away by the light of day.

He is her stain.

He loves her, but he cannot love her.

He wants her to remain pure forever, to stay forever above it all, and to never have a stain.

Theme: Don't love the person you imagine. Love the person who is real.