[Thanks so much for your support!! I'm working hard to build up a stock of chapters. Launching in March!]
[2.18 update: Damn, I'm so blocked I feel like a pile of crap. Give me a moment to sort out my thoughts. Thanks for your support. I'm sorry, I might not be able to launch on schedule qwqqqq]
[Writing the premise is so much fun, but a novel can't just be a premise!!!]
One day, the Heavenly Principles said they wanted to read fanfiction.
And so the Teyvat KOI~KOI~ Forum sprang into existence. Here, there are no ships you can't imagine, and no fanfic writer who won't ship them.
At first, Lumine doesn't think there's anything wrong with the forum, until one day Klee stops her beside the alchemy table.
Klee: Honorary Knight big sister, what does "sanpi" mean?
Klee: Why did I see people saying you and big brothers Diluc and Kaeya are going to sanpi
Lumine clamps a hand over her mouth.
Then, to Lumine's astonishment, a System appears before her.
[KOI~KOI~ Mission Prompt: Keep the popularity of each ship under control. Once a ship stays at the top of the trending list for a certain amount of time, it will become real.]
Lumine stares at the fanfic at the top of the list, titled "(Diluc x Lumine x Kaeya) Cream-Filled Cake," and falls into deep thought.
Her journey to find her sibling can wait. Who the hell wants to sanpi with those two walking fire-and-ice disasters!
Lumine believes the best way to lower a ship's popularity is to spread rumors about other ships!
>
After some strategic maneuvering on the forum, the good news is that her ship's popularity has dropped.
The bad news is that a lot of the characters themselves have come looking for her.
Venti: I don't approve of this DiVenti ship!
Venti: I want to top the old man!
Venti turns around and spreads rumors about a whole bunch of VentiDi ships.
Xiao: Who, who, who, who is writing VentiDi!
Xiao: My fave can't be on the bottom!
Lumine: What if I pull out this whole stack of Zhongli x Childe fics? What will you do then?
So Xiao takes his first sick day in the hundreds of years he's been on the job.
Zhongli: Traveler, I suggest you rein in your powers and stop writing Zhongli x Childe.
Zhongli: If Childe and I really get together, no one will be around to help you with the weekly whale boss.
Lumine: ...You have a point.
After all that, the Abyss Prince shows up at her door, furious.
Abyss Prince: Sis, why is the whole forum full of my non-consensual fics? Do you have any idea?
Abyss Prince: It's true, I started those rumors about you and Diluc and Kaeya having a threesome, and I was wrong.
Lumine: .
Lumine: I'll spread rumors, and I'll spread them hard!!!!
At this very moment, in this very second, across the vast and boundless Teyvat, a battle to tug ship popularity back and forth is about to begin!!!
Reader advisory:
1. This is a dumb story. Don't try to look for any intelligence in it, or it'll blow your mind.
Theme: Love life and stay positive
