I Have a Dog Sword

The domineering Head of the Bureau x the cheeky puppy (aka: "The Domineering Demon King Falls in Love with Me")

Jing Chen, emperor of Great Yong, is nobly born and handsome, but he is gravely ill and has little time left to live.

Then one day, he closes his eyes, opens them again, and finds himself turned into a dog.

Life as a dog is no picnic. Jing Chen is forced to learn all sorts of skills, from flying and burrowing to tracking criminals by scent and beating up demons. He also gets to enjoy the blessings of working two jobs: by day, he is an emperor with a mountain of state affairs to handle; by night, he's a dog guarding the house. In the morning, he approves memorials in the imperial study; in the afternoon, he has to crawl through a dog hole to help someone in a fight and keep watch. One moment he's arguing with scholars in court, and the next he's summoned to catch mice...

His life is harder than a village donkey's, so Jing Chen has no interest in a harem. That is, until one day, his vicious master, feared by both demons and ghosts, says she's planning to enter the palace and seduce the emperor.

Jing Chen lets out a piercing shriek: "Who are you going to disguise yourself as, and when and where are you going to seduce the emperor? Could you at least give the person you're seducing a heads-up?"

To help his master's seduction campaign, Jing Chen dresses himself up to the nines and parades around the palace every day, giving off the impression that he's easy to flirt with and eager for company. Unfortunately, the emperor never takes the bait. Instead, he leaves the eunuch beside him utterly dumbfounded.

A certain someone disguised as a eunuch: The dog emperor really does have something wrong with him!

*

The sword Xie Ying has raised for twenty years has finally gained a spirit, and the sword spirit is a dog.

The dog can't carry anything in its paws or shoulder a burden. Apart from gobbling spirit pills, all it can do is bark. It's spoiled and cheeky, scared of ghosts, demons, and dirt. It's utterly useless.

Though Xie Ying finds the silly dog a little annoying, she still raises and trains it with care. Then, while facing a powerful enemy, her life-bound sword is damaged and must be reforged. The woman and dog have to separate for a while: the puppy returns to its true form to recover, while she infiltrates the imperial palace to investigate the emperor.

Rumor has it that the emperor of Great Yong has been bedridden for years, has a terrible temper, and has no interest in women. But after several encounters, Xie Ying discovers that the young emperor is handsome, good-tempered, and sweet-tongued. He seems more like a loyal puppy than a villain. How strange!

Later, she passes out unexpectedly, and the young emperor is so worried he nearly turns into a dog right there. Xie Ying finally realizes something is off: Why is this emperor so much like my silly dog?

*

Reader's Guide:

1. This isn't a heroine-centered power fantasy. There's plenty of romance, with the heroine usually doing the fighting and the hero being cute (not really).

2. Not a leveling-up story. The heroine is powerful from the start, powerful enough to take on six hundred male leads by herself.

3. A silly comedy. Fun comes first, logic second, but we'll try to make it make sense.

4. One-on-one romance, both leads' first relationship, sweet ending, happy ending.

---Split here---

Please add the upcoming novel "I Really Don't Know How to Fight in the Inner Courtyard" to your collection. Blurb:

Ji Lan transmigrates into the body of an awkwardly placed illegitimate daughter of the Ji family, who happens to have an engagement that everyone envies.

To rescue Cheng Yun, the second son of the Marquis of Jingbei, from this lump of mud, Ji Lan is murdered by various parties four times.

On her fifth try, the System, missing for years, finally gets in touch with her. Ji Lan escapes the quagmire, successfully avenges her late mother and reclaims her dowry. Her exquisite painting skills bring her fame, and a happy life with a successful career and a fulfilling romance seems within reach.

Then Cheng Yu, heir to the Marquis of Jingbei, who is usually as noble as the moon and almost too upright for his own good, repeatedly sabotages her romantic prospects. He's also the older brother of her former fiance. Eventually, he drops the act: "Something called a System told me that I'm the male lead of this story and you're my target. We're a match made in heaven. I can give you everything you want, so why go to all that trouble to look for someone else?"

Ji Lan: "Weren't we supposed to agree that whoever I chose would be the male lead? I can go after villains, supporting male characters, or cannon fodder, but I really don't want to get into a forbidden, morally dubious romance..."

Cheng Yu scoffs: "If you marry me, it'll still be a sweet romance. Or I could kill those men trying to seduce you and play the villain or supporting male character for you. How about that?"

Ji Lan: "..."

What a downright haunted sweet romance!

*

Cheng Yu, heir to the Marquis of Jingbei, dies in battle. His body is brought back to the capital wrapped in his battle cloak, but he is accused of treason. The Marquis's residence is destroyed overnight, and his corpse is whipped and displayed for all to see.

On the day of his execution, Ji Lan, his usually timid and meek younger sister-in-law, actually throws herself against the gates of the marquis's residence and dies.

Cheng Yu is shaken to the core. In his new life, he vows to protect his family, including his virtuous younger sister-in-law...

"Greetings, Host. I'm System 027. Your current mission is to win over the male lead. You... Wait, why are you a man?!"

Cheng Yu: "???"

Cheng Yu only learns later that the System belongs to Ji Lan, and that Ji Lan is a transmigrator. With neither common sense nor a System, she's already died four times. If she fails again, not only she but the whole world will be doomed.

Cheng Yu thinks the problem is simple. His second younger brother and Ji Lan have been engaged since childhood, and they share a bond from facing life and death together in his previous life. Surely it would be perfectly natural for them to get together? All he has to do is arrange for them to marry as soon as possible.

The System lets out a piercing shriek: "You're the male lead! You! Don't go rushing to be a cuckold, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!"

Cheng Yu has always lived with integrity and would never do anything as immoral as having an affair with his younger brother's wife. The System has no choice but to dangle a carrot: "Just help the heroine with some early missions, and then she'll have enough points to exchange for a different male lead to pursue."

To make sure the plan to change the male lead goes smoothly, Cheng Yu asks about Ji Lan's preferences, preparing to have his younger brother work on meeting them.

Ji Lan: "Is there a chief eunuch under thirty, one hundred and eighty-eight centimeters tall, with eight-pack abs, a handsome face, and overwhelming power at court? I mean a palace supervisor, the head of the Eastern Depot, or the Director of Ceremonial Affairs. Someone absolutely incapable of having children?"

Cheng Yu: "..."

What is wrong with you?!

Cheng Yu realizes that finding a husband for his future sister-in-law is harder than ascending to heaven, and his missions proceed in fits and starts.

Later, he decides that he has no choice but to be the male lead himself: "System, which is more reliable, a book called 'Learn Vasectomy in Three Days' or a pill that makes you infertile? Are you sure neither will have any other side effects?"

System: "Hehehe..."

Theme: May humans and demons learn to coexist peacefully soon.