Fuck It, Let's Settle This

Given certain circumstances, I’ll break the fourth wall for a moment and explain what this novel is about.

I’m the protagonist because this damn author made me one. Whether I’m really the protagonist is debatable, but that doesn’t matter. The details don’t matter either. All you need to know is why I’m the one telling this story. It all started with my four badges and the decisions of certain mysterious, supreme powers. Now there are four people in my head, and my daily life has turned into those four gathering to play cards. The winner gets control of my body for an agreed-upon period.

It’s simple why I’m not in charge: those four are Osamu Dazai, Ranpo Edogawa, Ogai Mori, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. I’m a fan of half the cast of Bungo Stray Dogs, so I don’t deserve this, but here we are. They’re even wearing the badges that match them, the merch I bought. The kind you can’t take off.

Think that’s as bizarre as reality gets? No. The even more bizarre part is that my actual body is now in Beika City. Yes, that one.

For a moment, I don’t even know what I should pray for.

As for how I’m still alive and haven’t been killed first, it’s probably because if I, the one who is the real body in every sense, die, then those four will die too. “Worst case, we all go down together” is the last line of defense keeping me sane.

So, please witness the story of someone who lives every day thinking, “Fuck it, I’ll blow us all up with you.”

Theme: Face life with optimism