The Qin Emperor and His Ministers Heard My Gossipy Thoughts

[The story will be going VIP this Sunday, the 26th. Thank you for your support, dears.] [Content warning: The protagonist is Zhao Gao's younger brother. Don't read if that bothers you. P.S. This has nothing to do with cultivation. The "Secret to Ascending to Immortality as an Entire Nation" is actually a guide to getting rich. Everyone will figure that out later.] The twenty-ninth year of King Zheng of Qin. The assassination attempt at Bolangsha. The First Emperor of Qin and his ministers heard a voice openly enjoying the spectacle. [So the attack at Bolangsha really happened! Where's Zhang Liang? Did he get away? Is the First Emperor really unharmed?…] [Huh? Why aren't they coming out yet? Let me take a look. Is the First Emperor really like the books say, with beady eyes and a pigeon chest, suffering from brittle bone disease?] In an instant, everyone turned to look at Zhao Yu. Faced with so many people staring at him, Zhao Yu's gaze was clear and innocent, like some clueless fool who had just entered the world. But inside, he was thinking: [Ahhh, so many high-ranking officials have noticed me! Maybe I can get in with them, and then I'll be able to complete the mission left by the immortal?] An immortal? Ying Zheng's eyes narrowed sharply. He pointed at Zhao Yu and said, "Bring him here." Once Zhao Yu joined him, Ying Zheng's daily routine during this eastern tour became [The First Emperor isn't some pigeon-chested weakling with brittle bones. He's actually 1.9 meters tall, broad-shouldered and slim-waisted, handsome and imposing, with an aura that could fill a room. What a charming old ancestor. But... Let's hear some anecdotes about Prime Minister Li. The dignified prime minister is actually a rat watcher. When he sees a rat in the toilet, he says... When he sees a rat by the rice bin, he says... Wait, that's not right. Why are there rats in Prime Minister Li's toilet? Do the rats in his house live on shit? General Meng Tian is pretty gentle, but the roast chicken he gave me was awful. Ugh, how can the Qin boss eat this? Huh, his end was tragic. Zhao Gao eventually ordered him to kill himself? Oh, he didn't do it himself, but... sigh. So this is Zhao Gao? He looks pretty good. Wait, he has the same name as my brother. Could they be the same person? No need to panic. Let me check his record. His greatest achievements in life were the abalone at Shaqiu and calling a deer a horse. What's the abalone at Shaqiu? Yikes... Calling a deer a horse, though. Pretty clever... I hope he's not my brother. We've reached Langya. The scenery is lovely. Someone called Xu Fu brought his disciples and asked to speak about immortals? Xu Fu, that name sounds familiar. I think I saw it in that book. (Pages turning.) Whoa, he's the greatest con artist in history! He told the First Emperor he could go to an immortal mountain and find him the fruit of immortality? There really is a fruit of immortality, the one said to grant three thousand years of life with a single sniff, green as jade, soft as cake, and sweet as honey. It turns out to be...] Ying Zheng: Why did you stop? Zhao Gao: Why did you stop? Meng Tian: Why did you stop? Li Si: Why did you stop? We want to hear the rest! Theme: Happiness matters most