A Couch Potato's Daily Dose of Gossip

Blurb:

Lou Yuqing transmigrates to the cultivation world and binds herself to a Gossip System. She is determined to be a contented couch potato, but who could have guessed that everyone in her sect would hear her thoughts?

At the disciple selection ceremony, Venerable Zixiao plans to take a final disciple and chooses the Thunder Spirit Root disciple over Lou Yuqing.

[Venerable Zixiao probably has no idea he just took on a traitorous disciple. In the future, this disciple will not only steal his cultivation partner, but also his healing pills, leaving his strength greatly diminished. By the time he realizes what has happened, he will have become a laughingstock across the entire cultivation world.]

Venerable Zixiao's expression shifted. "You and I are not destined to be master and disciple."

The Thunder Spirit Root disciple was stunned.

Venerable Zixiao turned to Lou Yuqing. "Would you be willing to take me as your master?"

Lou Yuqing was stunned too.

*

Lou Yuqing gossips up front, while everyone else eavesdrops behind her.

[The sect leader thinks the two girls before him are a real and fake heiress, but in fact, they're both impostors. The real one was thrown into a snake pit by them.]

The sect leader flew into a rage. "How dare you!"

[An elder's daughter took in a live-in son-in-law. He's really enjoying that easy life, but wait, the son-in-law is actually a woman in disguise, pretending to be a man to trick her into marriage.]

The young lady was shocked. "A woman?"

[Oh no, this patient is an undercover agent. The Medicine Sage has healed him almost completely, but he crippled the Sage's hands and has already escaped beyond the mountain gate.]

The Discipline Hall shouted, "Seize him!"

As Lou Yuqing gossips away, wanting nothing more than to be a contented couch potato, she suddenly discovers that the sect is thriving and she has become the darling of the entire sect.

Pre-release 1: The Villain Won't Let Me Log Out, please add to your reading list

Lian Mingke flipped through the script in her hands.

As a minor character transmigrated into a xianxia TV drama, her character can be summed up as an outlaw who kills anyone she doesn't like.

This includes, but isn't limited to, envying the heroine's extraordinary talent, the hero's pampered upbringing, the supporting heroine's beautiful looks, and the supporting hero's lavish spending habits... So she wants to hire an assassin to kill them.

She's simply consumed by envy.

In the end, the minor character fails to kill a single one of them and is instead sent to her doom by the main cast working together.

Hiring someone to kill requires finding an assassin. Lian Mingke counts her assets and falls into deep thought: Which assassin would accept three spirit stones as payment?

*

On Zhu Yuanxi's first day as a black-market assassin, a young woman offers him one spirit stone to kill someone, and he completes the job perfectly.

But she doesn't look very happy.

Zhu Yuanxi completes the second, third, and fourth jobs with twice the effort...

Huh, she seems even sadder now.

Lian Mingke: Help, the entire main cast has been wiped out!

*

Zhu Yuanxi once received a prophecy that all the wealth and glory of his life would come from his first employer.

Hah, wealth and glory for one spirit stone?

Only after he intercepted the opportunity of the first child of destiny did he suddenly understand.

After repeatedly getting new scripts and watching the main cast die over and over, Lian Mingke finally realizes that Zhu Yuanxi has been given the script of a major TV drama villain.

Pre-release 2: The Cannon Fodder's Farming Skills Are a Little Too Strong

In the book The Immortal Path to Longevity, there's a cannon-fodder character who opposes the heroine. She foolishly challenges the heroine to a bet, then dies mysteriously on the dueling platform.

Chu Yunran transmigrates into the cannon fodder's body and stages a miraculous return from the dead.

Facing an unknown enemy within the sect, she makes a swift getaway.

Cultivation is too dangerous. She just wants to go home and farm.

Later, she discovers that whenever her spirit plants mature, her cultivation increases.

Harvest an acre of spirit rice, gain 10 years of cultivation!

Harvest a tea tree, gain 20 years of cultivation!

Harvest a mushroom, gain 50 years of cultivation!

When her cultivation is low, Chu Yunran keeps her head down.

When her cultivation surges, Chu Yunran strikes back hard.

Which little bastard ambushed this old lady? She's going to turn them into fertilizer!

Everyone is horrified. They investigate Chu Yunran's life over the past few years, only to find that she has done nothing but farm, and they can't help questioning their own lives.

Damn, can you really cultivate immortality just by farming?

Chu Yunran proudly raises her chin. "Yes."

Theme: Make a good life for yourself through your own abilities.