A Distillery HR Manager's Guide to Fake Undercover Work

"Next up: Distillery, But Stardew Valley. Blurb below! If you're interested, feel free to visit the author's page and add it to your collection!" Xiaoquan Kong, AKA Bacardi, went from a naive college boy to the HR director of a pharmaceutical research company in just one day. The good news: he was the boss of the company's HR department. The bad news: he was the entire HR department. Xiaoquan Kong (slams keyboard): Damn it, that's still HR! Figuring that since he was already here, he might as well make the best of it, Xiaoquan Kong brought along his crappy little System and began the most eventful career of his life. The company needed new recruits? Xiaoquan Kong said, "Easy." He flicked a finger and immediately hired several young, handsome security guards! Employee relations were bad? Xiaoquan Kong said, "No problem." With a few deft moves, ordinary coworker relations fast-forwarded straight to, "Bro, you smell so good!" The company wasn't doing well? Xiaoquan Kong said, "Piece of cake." He revamped performance reviews and laid people off left and right, and the company's numbers shot up. Thanks to Xiaoquan Kong's hard work (and mayhem, ahem), the distillery shook off its slump and its profits soared. Matsuda and Hagiwara infiltrated the organization during the Black Organization's most prosperous period. Using the phone number on a flyer attached to a utility pole, and leveraging their talents for taking things apart and fixing cars, they easily earned codenames and became the distillery's "technical specialists." After joining, they never forgot why they were there: to find their friend, trapped in a dark mire with no way out. First up: the all-rounder who held the company's financial lifeline, capable of writing proposals and drawing up budgets. Matsuda & Hagiwara: Who are you? Bourbon (eyes open, straight to work): Tell the Public Security Bureau. Once I take over after next quarter's performance review, we'll make our move! Second: Bacardi's successor, the god of performance reviews at the distillery. Matsuda & Hagiwara: Who are you? Scotch (flipping through resumes at a leisurely pace): I hired all of you. It's fine. I've almost gathered enough evidence of the organization's crimes, anyway. Third: the organization's top contributor, its lifeblood, on a par with that TK. Matsuda & Hagiwara: Wait, who the hell are you?! Rye (snatching the microphone): Open up! FB%&# Matsuda & Hagiwara (snatching the microphone back): Get lost, get lost, get lost! After all that searching, they only discovered that the organization was getting more and more watered down, and every member seemed redder by the day. Everything led back to that mysterious codename. Bacardi took the microphone with a blank expression. "Actually, I'm just some lousy HR guy." In a nutshell: a totally unflappable puppy bounds into the distillery. [Reader's Guide] 1. Severe OOC warning. The timeline will be adjusted, and the story leans toward a laid-back, everyday feel. 2. The author's logic and writing skills are limited. If you don't like it, feel free to remove it from your collection, but please don't leave mean comments (it would really upset me, sob). 3. Lots of the five police academy friends working at the distillery. 4. The protagonist is a bottle of cheap liquor, not fake liquor or real liquor. The characters' values may fluctuate, so please don't relate them to real life. 5. There is smoking, but no one gets hurt. Enjoy! Next up, Distillery, But Stardew Valley. Blurb: A player who had never played Stardew Valley downloaded the game as soon as he heard it had been updated with a new map and could be experienced in full-dive virtual reality. After landing in "Zuzu City" and being brought to "Pelican Town" by a silver-haired NPC, the player realized that something about the updated Stardew Valley was off. His grandfather seemed to be very rich. Other players inherited their grandfathers' farms, but he inherited his grandfather's distillery. He had a distillery from the start, but still had to work his way up by farming, one step at a time. So, hoe and scythe in hand, he started a new kind of "pioneering." ** Clinton, the lost grandson and sole heir of that great man. After being found by that great man at the age of eighteen and sent to the organization for training, this heir displayed a kind of "energy" that ordinary people couldn't understand. Farming, chopping wood, raising livestock, fishing, brewing... Clinton was always busy. You could always find him at the base or somewhere nearby. For example, you might see... The boy hurrying out of the base at the crack of dawn with a hoe and scythe over his shoulder, humming a strange song: "...It's pouring back home! Don't you worry now! That old man watering the fields every day is finally on vacation!" A while later, you might also see... A black-haired boy running all over the base with a pair of purple underwear balanced on his head, squealing excitedly, "Rum! Where are you?!" "I finally found your underwear!" A little later, you might also see... In a corner of the base, before a shrine displaying that great man's photograph, blue candles flickering softly, the boy kneeling respectfully on the ground while cursing under his breath: "Are you even my grandfather?" "Why won't you give me a perfect score?! I'm never bringing you flowers again..." ** Putting aside the strange chests and tools he leaves all over the base; Putting aside the way he races around the base on a foal; Putting aside the racket he makes smelting iron in the middle of the night; Putting aside all the other stuff... Putting all that aside, Clinton is generally agreed to be a good kid. He can always pull something out of nowhere to give you. Almost every member has received a gift from the boy. A fish, a flower, a pretty rock, a delicious meal... The boy's warm smile brings out a surprisingly "harmonious" side of the organization. Of course, there are exceptions. In the organization's bar, all the members who received bouquets have gathered together, every one of them scowling. "I even helped him harvest corn that day!" "I helped him chop wood yesterday..." "That kid went and gave bouquets to all these people behind my back..." The perceptive boy sensed something was wrong as soon as he entered the bar. "Stop right there!" "Don't even think about running!" Clutching his head as he fled in a panic, Clinton cried, "But I brought a rabbit's foot!!" [Reader's Guide] 1. Affinity settings differ from the game. The story is about friendship and family, with a bit of everyone doting on the protagonist. 2. The posting date is undecided. Theme: Be brave enough to be yourself