[Investiture of the Gods] About How I Only Learned the Art of Escape

The Mysterious Bird of Heaven's Mandate descended and gave birth to Shang. She has the destiny of a leading lady, yet keeps doing things like a little noob. Ahem, ahem, but that part of the story is still a long way off.

Back when Chong Yijiang was four, she chased her eldest nephew all over the place. Whenever she ran into someone tough, all she could do was shout, "My nephew is Chong Yingbiao!"

Back then, Chong Yingbiao was ten and could barely avoid her. He never imagined his little aunt would go around causing trouble for him.

Chong Yijiang: "E Shun showed me a new storybook today. Want to hear it, eldest nephew?"

Chong Yingbiao sipped his tea. "E Shun is the most learned one. Whatever he recommends must be useful. Read it to me."

Chong Yijiang: "Eight hundred soldiers raced over the northern slope, and eight hundred hostages climbed into bed. What do you think of that?"

Chong Yingbiao bolted for the door. "Damn it! I'll kill that shameless bastard! My little aunt is only thirteen!"

Chong Yijiang: "Eldest nephew, I have someone I like~"

Chong Yingbiao's heart sank. "What?! Which pig dares to root around in my cabbage patch?!!"

Chong Yijiang blushed. "It's someone you know..."

After a long moment, Chong Yingbiao had already drafted a hit list. "Yin Jiao? Jiang Wenhuan? E Shun? Don't tell me it's Su Quangxiao, who hasn't even grown a hair yet? Doesn't matter, I won't spare a single one!" He burst through the door.

He never thought that one day his sworn enemy would stand before him, looking carefree and radiant. "From now on, we'll each use our own terms. I'll call you big brother, and you can call me uncle-in-law."

Chong Yingbiao jumped up and tore his own door off its hinges. "Ji Fa! I'll stab you to death!!"

As for how the heroine is a workaholic who also wants to lie flat, she says:

"Since I only cultivate so I can keep my head down and survive, I might as well learn to keep my head down from the start."

"Metal, wood, water, fire, earth. One word: escape!!!"

Jiang Ziya: "Wait, what?! Is that the Five Elements Eight Trigrams Formation that was lost for five hundred years? What is that girl doing with it?!"

Yang Jian: "She escaped, faster than I can. I've never heard or seen anything like it. So this is what you meant, Uncle-Master, when you said the real experts are among the people."

Nezha: "She lost heart before the fight even started! Despicable!! Lying to children! Shameless!!!"

Theme: Take me to listen to the sound of the wheat fields in Xiqi