Stay Away from NPCs, or You'll Turn Into a Jinjiang Shou

☆ Preorder now open: Please, Spend More on Your Paper-Doll Character! No Romance Blurb Congratulations, you have entered the world of Green River. If you don't want to become the protagonist who gets pinned down, you'd better keep this handbook safe _(:зゝ∠)_ Rule One: Men/women/animals/jade pendants... lying in the road are to be avoided. Rule Two: When your secretary spills water on you, be sure to dodge. Rule Three: When you visit bars, schools, or any other special locations, avoid every person and object around you. Rule One Thousand Eight Hundred and Sixty: Be wary of your childhood friend, nemesis, best friend, stone-cold straight guy, cross-dressing hottie, movie emperor, adopted younger brother... and every other man around you, because you may be forced into a captivity play. Of course, you don't have to read this handbook. Because once you arrive in Green River, there's no escaping the fate of getting pinned down. Good luck~ Ling Hanzhi, currently in the world of Green River: "..." When he first saw this handbook, his first thought was that it was absurd. He didn't believe a word of it. But once he really started experiencing everything it described, he began trying to save himself. When he spotted a man lying in the road, he calmly called emergency services, drove off, and later received the title of Outstanding Citizen from the police station, along with a commemorative banner. When his secretary spilled water on him, he immediately fired the handsome but utterly useless secretary and hired a capable, highly qualified replacement. The company went from strength to strength and successfully made the Fortune 500. When a special event was triggered at a bar, he once again called 110. Sirens blared, and the owner of a bar that sold explicit content was sent to prison, where he won himself a stable twenty-year job with room and board. Ling Hanzhi worked so hard to avoid his fate of getting pinned down. Just as he was about to succeed... He got pinned down. "...You didn't tell me I shouldn't keep the secretary who splashes water on himself." So getting pinned down absolutely wasn't his fault! The rules were badly written! System: Oh, we're terribly sorry. Our system scan shows that this is exactly your type, OvO~ (P.S. Those faintly visible eight-pack abs and that pitiful expression look great, don't they?) Ling Hanzhi: "..." Get lost! [A Few Little Notes] 1. The blurb was written on September 26, 2023. Inspired by common tropes in online novels, with a thought along the lines of subverting tropes and layering on a rules-based urban legend (though I don't think this really counts as one, ahem) OvO. 2. The love interest is split into two parts: the System and the secretary. 3. A light, silly style, though some parts of the plot may be a little heavy (added July 18, 2024). 4. The setting is entirely fictional, and lots of things are absurd. I'm not joking (O.O). 5. There will be entertainment-industry plotlines. Watch out for pop-up comments (added July 13, 2024). 6. That's all I can think of. Sending everyone a heart. Preorder blurb below! Please, Spend More on Your Paper-Doll Character! Recently, a hot topic has been trending online: If you were an NPC controlled by a player, what would you want to say to them? The top answer was: Please, spend more on your paper-doll character!!! The protagonist could relate. If someone were controlling his life, they must really love him. After all, there aren't many people like him who find money on the street, win the lottery whenever they buy a ticket, and effortlessly get everything they want. He was quite satisfied with his life. Of course, the protagonist didn't take the idea seriously. It was just an imaginary scenario that had nothing to do with reality. But he never imagined that this world really was a freaking game. And he, an utterly ordinary person, had three players controlling him! Player One was a domineering CEO with a fortune who was addicted to gaming. He was busy with work during the day, then stayed up late at night, diligently spending money on his little paper-doll character. Watching his little paper doll grow up healthy and strong made him very happy. Player Two was an ordinary office worker who played games to kill time at work. She gave her little paper doll guidance in life, always steering him toward the right path at critical moments. Watching her little paper doll become an outstanding person made her very happy. Player Three was a popular The Sims streamer. Every day, he was either grinding away at the game or grinding away at the game, keeping his little paper doll company day after day and giving him the very best companionship. Watching his little paper doll grow up happy and content made him very happy. One day, the worlds merged. The three players excitedly set out to find the kid they'd raised from scratch, eager to keep watching him grow. But when they arrived at the door and ran into each other, they stared in bewilderment. Player One did his best to stay calm. "Who are you?" Player Two hesitated. "Are you also the one controlling my good little boy?" Player Three sneered. "Also?" The three almost came to blows. When the protagonist opened the door and saw his three players arguing until their faces were red and their necks bulged, he paused in bemusement, looked up at them, and asked, "Hello. Are you my dad, mom, and big brother?" The three of them: "..." All three put on smiles and looked at the good little boy before them. In unison, they said, "Yes, sweetheart. I'm your dad (mom) (big brother)." Ahem. For the kid's sake, a temporary truce wasn't out of the question. [Temporary Notes] 1. No pairing the three players together. They have no relationship with one another. 2. The main story will probably begin when the kid is young and follow his path to success as he's raised along the way. 3. No CP, no matter who you ask. 4. The focus is on family affection. The kid's background is interstellar, while the parents' background is the 21st century, ovo. 5. A cozy, everyday story with a slightly slow pace. If it's not your thing, feel free to drop it early. 6. I'll add more if I think of anything (...). ☆ Theme: Somewhere in the world, someone comes for you.