On Getting a Happy Ending with Myself

"Xu Han," the person you love most can be "yourself."

At seventeen, "Xu Han," living inside a possessive romance novel as the cannon-fodder first love of the protagonist, officially set out on the path his life was destined to take.

At twenty-eight, the life of "Cannon Fodder Xu Han" came to an end.

When he woke again, "Cannon Fodder Xu Han" had become Chi Yan.

He became the "younger brother" of his enemy, Xue Ding'e, and once again met the young man who had made him love and hate before.

As Chi Yan, he had no interest in face-slapping or revenge. His only remaining will to survive was to protect Mr. Xu and his one true friend, both of whom had died directly or indirectly because of him in his previous life.

As for the person he used to be, the one who could still have Mr. Xu and that friend, and who still bore the name Xu Han...

The pure, guileless fool.

Chi Yan only wanted to watch coldly as he fell hopelessly in love with someone again. He wouldn't even mind helping him and that someone end up together, as long as Mr. Xu and his friend were safe.

Who says a person has to love themself?

Now he loves no one, himself included.

Xu Han dreamed of his past. In the dream, he was a shameless, despicable wretch, born to be a villain.

After his life came to an end, the person in the dream was reborn as a talking cat. It said its name was "Chi Yan."

Xu Han thought it was an absurd, bizarre nightmare.

Not until he saw the cat in his dream turn into a person, swishing its fluffy tail as it walked toward him, did he realize that his "future self" had come to be by his side.

Xu Han had no idea that, from this moment on, he was destined to embark on a new path.

He wanted Chi Yan to love "himself," and he couldn't help loving himself, either.

[I thought that if I walked ninety-nine steps and he walked one toward me, I'd be content. But I'm actually greedy. I want to walk fifty steps, and I want him to walk fifty, too.

In truth, we don't need to take a single step, because we have always been within reach of each other.

- From Xu Han's Love Diary]

[My younger self is my boy, the place where my heart belongs, and a fairytale that "I" gave to "myself."

I hope this fairytale lasts forever.

- From Chi Yan's Love Diary]

***The story contains plenty of cat-dog dynamics, because the top really does have cat ears and a tail (only the bottom can see and touch them). The bottom always breaks his promises after making a pinky swear. In the cat's eyes, he's a lying puppy, and also a clingy, affectionate crybaby puppy who only shows his warmth to the cat. At first, due to their differences in height, build, and temperament, they only look about sixty or seventy percent alike. As the cat's soul heals later on, they'll grow more and more alike, and eventually match in height and build, too.

***Chi Yan is the top, Xu Han is the bottom (a gloomy, self-loathing, in-denial cat who always makes his puppy cry x a clingy, affectionate crybaby puppy with a hopelessly romantic heart). Neither character is perfect. Raising a cat takes patience, so the romance develops very, very, very slowly. Before and after they get together, the cat and puppy will have all kinds of conflicts. They'll argue and insult each other; both have their own tangled personalities and trouble speaking their minds. This isn't exactly a sweet romance. It's a story about healing each other, getting to know each other, and trying to accept themselves, with friendship, family affection, and melodrama.

**Reader advisory (a simplified general version; see Chapter One for the long, detailed version)***

① The author updates irregularly. My physical and mental health make daily updates impossible. My tastes are eclectic, and I write for my own enjoyment. I write because I can't find the kind of stories I want, so I cook for myself. I only write what I like.

② All the character traits are the kinds I personally want to read. I'm getting on in years, and many of my tastes have long since fallen out of fashion. What I write may differ greatly from what you consider those traits to mean.

③ The author is extremely thin-skinned, but I won't delete comments just because they're critical. If you find one has been deleted, it wasn't me. (I noticed that the system deleted some comments on my previous story. I wanted to make it clear in case people think I'm silencing criticism.)

④ For an even longer and more detailed warning for the extremely thin-skinned, please read Chapter One.

Theme: Accept yourself and embrace yourself.