Can a Janitor Really Play an Evil God? [Lovecraftian]

Xu Jing woke up to find that she had transmigrated into a cosmic-horror game that had just entered closed beta.

The climate here was humid, the air thick with fog and reeking of salty seawater. Monsters crawled up from the shore, clutching her pant leg and dragging her toward the sea.

In response, Xu Jing recited the classic transmigration oath: "If I get another life, I will definitely, "

She hadn't decided what came after that yet. For now, her first priority was to smash the disgusting, jelly-like monster's head.

Xu Jing grabbed the monster, which was covered in green slime, with one hand, and the only tool at hand with the other: a steel scouring pad. Then she subjected the monster to a merciless beating.

Half an hour later, a cute, translucent pink jellyfish sat in her hand.

[Ding-dong! Congratulations on triggering the Smart Cleaning System.]

[Bind now to receive a beginner's gift pack. Would you like to bind?]

[Target creature has not rejected within three seconds. No rejection is considered consent. Congratulations on binding the Smart Cleaning System.]

Xu Jing: "???"

What a fine cleaning System, forcing a purchase on her like that.

[Loading target identity...]

[Name: Xu Jing]

[Gender: Female]

[Age: 22]

[Education: University]

[Workplace: Dark Tide Sanatorium]

[Department: Logistics]

[Employment status: Permanent staff]

Xu Jing could no longer make out the rest of the information.

A permanent position!

In her previous life, the little artist Xu Jing had insisted on freelancing and starved herself to death through her own efforts. At last, she finished reciting her oath: "If I get another life, I will cling to the security of a permanent job! No working hard! No self-improvement! No quitting!"

As soon as Xu Jing finished her vow, a line of jelly-like monsters appeared in front of her. The smallest were the size of her palm, while the largest were as big as a compact car and could swallow her in one bite.

[Task One: Clean one hundred mutated jellyfish.]

Xu Jing: "Can I still quit?"

Xu Jing braced herself and scrubbed until her steel scouring pad wore out. Her fingers were so exhausted they went numb, and she even squeezed two undigested fishermen out of a mutant jellyfish's belly.

Good. They were still alive.

[Congratulations, Player Xu Jing, on earning the title Mother of Monsters (Beginner).]

[Congratulations, Player Xu Jing, on earning the title Mysterious Savior of the Fishing Village.]

From then on, the steel scouring pad Xu Jing had left on the shore was enshrined by the villagers on an altar. They built a statue of her by the sea, and when night fell, monsters leaped from the water, prostrated themselves beneath the statue, and kissed the tops of her feet.

The Dark Tide Sanatorium had gained a little-known cleaner.

The pothos in the director's office suddenly went wild, strangling a resident physician who had come to report on a patient's condition and hanging him from the ceiling.

Xu Jing took out a pair of scissors and snipped it off. "Grow any more, and I'll cut you off at the roots."

The pothos sobbed, "But I don't want to be bald."

As the head of the nursing department went to the bathroom, an unidentified creature grabbed her backside and started dragging her inside. The bathroom alarm went off.

Xu Jing charged into the director's office and planted a toilet plunger on the hair-like monster. "Take that!"

The hair-like monster admired its reflection in the toilet water. "Wow, my huge swollen face has turned into a delicate oval!"

Late at night, someone knocked on the door of Xu Jing's dormitory. A postcard lay outside.

"Miss Xu Jing, Mother Goddess, please love me."

Xu Jing tossed the postcard away and flicked the blue slime she'd accidentally gotten on her fingertips. "What a weirdo."

A legend began to circulate among the monsters: The Evil God had revived as a beautiful woman, but she didn't love them. Her heart and soul belonged to those foolish humans.

A legend also began to circulate among humans: Their leader had appeared, but she had no desire to save humanity. Countless monsters always followed behind her.

Those monsters could easily crush a human to death, yet in her presence, they pretended to be harmless little lambs.

Xu Jing felt that the world was getting better and better.

The monsters turned into little pink jellyfish, big blue octopuses, and brown starfish. They blew dreamy bubbles, knew to come to the hospital for CT scans when they got sick, and took the medicine prescribed by human doctors.

Humans developed medicine that could suppress the monsters' mutations and eagerly helped treat them. Relations between doctors and patients were exceptionally harmonious.

Xu Jing picked up a broom, looked at this perfect new world, and smiled with satisfaction.

Theme: Keep clean and stay healthy, and illness will stay far away from us.