The Hated One's Dating Show Conquest Handbook

Yan Cheng was a famously committed method actor, known both inside and outside the entertainment industry as a lunatic. Even his haters could recite his greatest hits:

While playing a mentally ill patient, he wore a hospital gown and directed traffic on set, only to actually be taken to a hospital. While filming a ghost movie, he went to sleep in a cemetery and nearly scared a security guard to death. While playing a fortune-teller, he offered to read the director's fortune, predicted a bloody disaster, and got kicked off the set.

Just as everyone assumed that one day he'd get himself arrested for the sake of playing a hardcore criminal, he suddenly signed on for a playboy romance drama and, in order to experience the complexities of a tangled love life, signed up for a dating show!

Netizen A: It isn't surprising he'd do something like this, but shouldn't his manager stop him?

Netizen B: I'll admit he's good-looking, but how does he expect to find love? By acting crazy?

Yan Cheng: Hi. By using this philosophical masterpiece, The Dating Guide.

During filming, the haters heard that Yan Cheng was shamelessly flirting with every guest and that the others were keeping their distance. They figured he'd crash and burn soon, but instead...

Innocent puppy: Don't go, Bro. I haven't seen you all day. Stay with me a little longer.

Handsome green tea: Teacher Yan, sorry I drank too much last night. Your little brother shouldn't be upset, right?

Older CEO: I heard you've been having trouble sleeping lately, so I asked the show to replace your pillow with a better one.

Haters: Wake up! He's treating you like NPCs in a dating game. Don't fall for it!

When the show aired, viewers saw Yan Cheng clutching his guidebook, taking notes as he sent heart-fluttering messages. He stayed up all night analyzing the relationship chart like a detective investigating a crime, chewing on his pen and racking his brains, only to connect every single line wrong.

And yet he still managed to hook his targets.

The haters who had started watching the show just to criticize Yan Cheng fell silent one after another.

The Dating Guide sold out overnight, and viewers stayed up late reading it to figure out what made it so special.

After reading it, they finally reached a conclusion:

[Case closed. The book is useless. He just wins by acting crazy.]

*

For some unknown reason, award-winning actor Duan Hangshu also joined the dating show. He and Yan Cheng were a once-popular on-screen couple who had acted together before. On the show, they pretended not to know each other. You could call it keeping a respectful distance, but everyone online knew that Actor Duan steered clear of Yan the Lunatic.

But on the eve of the mutual date selection, an unedited clip from behind the scenes leaked. In the dark, Duan Hangshu cornered Yan Cheng at the bedroom door, eyes red as he asked, "Why didn't you pick me today?"

Yan Cheng had barely opened his mouth when the video cut off.

The fewer-than-ten fans of the Duan-Yan pairing suddenly sprang up like mushrooms after rain and flooded the show's official account, demanding answers: What is it that your most distinguished VIP viewers aren't allowed to hear?!

Give it to us, or just admit they're real. Pick one.

#If you don't deny it, I'm going to start making things up#

[My next book is Three Boyfriends After I Lost My Memory. Please add it to your to-read list.]

Blurb:

The doctor told Xie Qing he was pregnant.

Xie Qing sat dumbfounded on the hospital bed, first lifting the blanket to check his sex, then turning to look at the calendar.

He had no memories of the year before his car accident.

"Don't be scared, baby. I'll stay with you and help you get your memories back," the strange man beside him said. "I'm your boyfriend."

The man wore a sharp suit and was handsome and gentle. His face was even on the cover of the business magazine on the table. Xie Qing thought he had great taste and had just relaxed when the man added, "But the baby isn't mine."

Xie Qing sprayed a mouthful of water right into his boyfriend's face.

After his boyfriend left, a second visitor came to see him. Xie Qing recognized him: he was a popular singer, famous for his pure and saintly image.

Just as Xie Qing was about to ask for an autograph, the singer came over and put an arm around him, full of concern. "Baby, thank goodness you're all right. Does anything hurt?"

Xie Qing stared at him in disbelief. "You're my boyfriend too?"

"Too?" The singer's expression darkened. "Baby, didn't I tell you? If you ever cheat on me, I'll hang you up and cut you into pieces."

"...Of course not, baby," Xie Qing said. "Look at you, breaking character."

By the time a third handsome man came in holding flowers and called him baby, Xie Qing was completely unfazed.

Even though the handsome man was his bodyguard, and their relationship was strictly forbidden, all Xie Qing cared about now was who the child's father was.

He tried to find out: "Darling, how far have we gotten in our relationship?"

The bodyguard showed him the ring on his ring finger.

Xie Qing hurriedly reached for his cup.

Bodyguard: I'm about to get divorced.

"Pfft!"

Xie Qing swore he'd never drink water while someone else was talking again.

Xie Qing immediately called his wealthy eldest brother. "Help me, Bro!"

He told his brother all at once about the car accident, his lost memories, and the three boyfriends he'd somehow acquired.

His brother was a traditional straight man and would surely need a while to accept it. It took a full five minutes before he finally found his voice. "Got it. Wait for me."

Xie Chengbing arrived at the hospital in half an hour. He looked impeccably put together, but Xie Qing noticed that one of his socks was inside out.

His brother's first words were, "Break up with them."

His second words were, "The baby is mine."

A third mouthful of water came flying out.

Can someone tell him what on earth he did during that year he can't remember?!

Theme: Experience is the surest path to true understanding.