[Western Crossover] A Kryptonian, but a Gotham Native

It's known that I'm an alien toddler who arrived on Earth in a spaceship and was adopted by a kind couple. I have black hair, blue eyes, and a little curl of hair on my forehead. I possess superpowers that would astonish ordinary people. So who am I?

That's right, I'm Bruce Wayne, Gotham's famous rich guy, moonlighting as Gotham's cold-blooded Bat Freak and Metropolis's sunny Superman. I work around the clock: first, I smash a thug's head in, then I have to rescue a kitten from a tree, and after that I take a twenty-minute nap at a board meeting to maintain my status as Gotham's beautiful waste of space.

I'm utterly despairing over this world's best-partner-in-one combo version of B, and yet I'm the one. Even Black Kryptonite has to bow down to me and say, "You're the real expert at splitting apart."

Is a shell almond not a person? Do shell almonds not need rest? This is a seriously awful world. My hatred comes from the planet of paying customers. (Heavy punch)

*This is my take on a speedy-bullet transmigration Superman story, with some changes to the setting. First-person snark, and there may be a parallel-universe transmigration plot...

*There will be out-of-character moments and inconsistent logic. I'm writing this to amuse myself (blushing). Please point out any problems.

*If you like chatting, please leave comments, everyone (kneels).

*I'm just a kid writing for fun, so don't expect me to be good at finishing what I start...

Theme: Click to see what 24-hour shifts do to a shell almond (?)