The Off-Key Mermaid Woke Me, the Main God

Original title: I Started Out Waterlogged, and Turned Out to Be an Old God

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It was that strange dream again.

Ji Zhongyou was at the bottom of the sea, surrounded by mermaids singing and a group of monsters with octopus heads kneeling in prayer.

He couldn't control his lips as they parted. His Adam's apple bobbed, his abdomen tensed and strained...

Ji Zhongyou desperately reminded himself that he had no talent for this. Shut up, you have no talent for this!

But...

His vocal cords began to vibrate against his will, and discordant notes tore through the beautiful song woven by the mermaids.

The mermaids all turned and glared viciously at Ji Zhongyou, hatred in their blue-tinged eyes.

But his ethereal, off-key singing went on.

Ji Zhongyou was so embarrassed his toes curled.

Then came a loud smack... His tail slapped several times against his will.

He himself... was a mermaid! He'd even grown scales and gills!

Why was the lullaby so awful?

Half asleep, Su Mao managed to open one jade-green eye... What was that awful noise?

Su Mao, a lifeguard at Hengsha Seaside Bathing Beach, drowned on an extraordinary summer night.

His long, seaweed-like curls spread through the water, and the light refracted across his pale, delicate face, twisting its features out of shape. His jade-green eyes, however, remained calm.

The journey began. Su Mao gradually became waterlogged, his limbs swelling until it was hard to move... Starting as "fish food," he steadily advanced until he became a toy for orcas.

The deep blue around him gradually lightened. He felt at least three adult orcas pressing against his back.

They swung their tails and leaped upward with all their strength. After a burst of pain, Su Mao felt the long-missed sun, air, and seagulls...

The orcas worked together to launch him above the sea, where he soared freely through the air... before splashing back into the shallows.

He had spectacularly beached himself.

The relentless sun accelerated the loss of moisture, and the huge swollen mass gradually dried out.

By the end, the sleeping Su Mao had nearly lost his human shape, his soft skin dry and stiff.

Ji Zhongyou strolled along the beach. Beyond the familiar scenery, there was now a giant jade-green "starfish"...

His pace quickened, then he started running, practically throwing himself at it.

Ji Zhongyou gently stroked the object, which had grown somewhat stiff. "I found you."

Main CP: Gem collector + bipolar disorder + off-key mermaid gong, Ji Zhongyou X film projectionist + underfed, lazy wage slave + old god shou, Su Mao (former job: lifeguard at a seaside bathing beach)

Side CP: 185.7 cm tall + theatrical "maid" gong, Ashilis X flirtatious playboy + timid psychologist shou, Fu Shujun

From the gong's perspective, this book could also be called: My Collectible Escaped from the Aquarium

From the shou's perspective, this book could also be called: The Off-Key Mermaid Bro Woke Me, the Main God

From the side CP's perspective, this book could also be called: My Boyfriend: A 185.7 cm Cross-Dressing Enthusiast

Reader's guide:

1. Mutual healing, happy ending.

2. A mildly Lovecraftian world, infinite-flow, unhurried pacing, with sanity-draining descriptions.

3. Some adaptations of Lovecraft, the Seraphim, and Bible stories. If that bothers you, feel free to pass.

Finally, thank you for reading. I look forward to your bookmarks and comments. I'm grateful!

Theme: In the eternal mansion of R'lyeh, a sleeping old god hears a mermaid singing off-key.