The Senior Sister's Mad Diary

Reading Guide:

1. I'm completely blocked on the story next door and about to lose it. This is the product of a breakdown, so the content is extremely absurd. Whenever I have a breakdown and get inspired, I'll update.

2. The author's mental state isn't quite normal, but don't be scared, my dears. I don't bite.

3. The entire story is told in first person.

After transmigrating into a novel about a beloved heroine as the villainess, I shook my head at these love-addled lunatics.

Isn't cultivating to become an immortal better than dating? Why are you all fighting over the chance to date our master?

That's right. In the novel I transmigrated into, the beloved character is a man, and a man loved by everyone, male and female, young and old.

Who is he? He's my direct master, Venerable Qingfeng.

Junior brothers, junior sisters, elders, sect leaders: they're all hopelessly devoted to him. I took a deep breath to keep from being thunderstruck by this ridiculous plot and passing out.

As a sunflower among a crowd of pomegranate blossoms, I studied hard and worked toward becoming an immortal.

But the capable are always expected to do more in our sect. As the only one with a clear head, I conscientiously handled sect affairs by day and diligently cultivated by night.

I thought I could tough it out. A mere ten, hundred, thousand, or ten thousand years. No big deal. I could just bear it and get through it. (Gritting my teeth.)

But when I saw those idiots following our master around every day, grinning and sucking up to him while I worked hard at my job and cultivation, I finally couldn't take it anymore.

I was going to snap!

Damn it, you're dumping every bit of work on me. Do you think I'm an old ox in a field who won't stop until I drop dead?

Seeing how obsessed they were with our master, willing to be his beasts of burden just because he lifted a finger, I gave a wicked smile and came up with a nasty little plan.

*

"Disciple, don't come any closer!" Master retreated to the corner, tears in his eyes.

I held the Immortal-Binding Rope and chuckled.

I tossed our bound master into the main hall. At last, the love-addled disciples came to their senses and looked at him with concern.

"Senior Sister! If you're angry, take it out on me! Do whatever you want to me, but don't lay a finger on Master!" the disciple declared righteously.

I gave him a cool glance.

The disciple immediately dropped to his knees, sobbing.

"Senior Sister, if you're upset, take it out on me. Just hit me, please don't hit Master."

I said coldly, "It was no trouble at all."

The disciple fainted from anger.

Looking down at the panicked, clamorous crowd, I, as the senior sister, naturally had to put a stop to the crooked ways of this novel. I threw out my newly drafted sect rules and announced loudly:

"From now on, Master is in my custody. You'll have to earn time with him through your own labor!"

"Wash and feed a hundred spirit beasts, and you can go admire the scenery with Master once."

"Go down the mountain and help the villagers with their problems with the demon and fiend realms, and you can share a meal with Master."

"Rank first in the monthly disciple cultivation rankings, and you can move into Master's courtyard and be his neighbor for a month."

"Kill a total of a hundred demons and fiends, and you can hold Master's hand for ten hours!"

"Aaaaaah! I want to hold Master's hand! Aaaaaah!"

"I want to live in the same courtyard as Master and admire his peerless swordsmanship every day! Aaaaaah!"

Before I could finish speaking, the crowd below burst into a frenzy. The solemn atmosphere of discontent vanished completely.

"There are plenty more rules for you to read. I, Rong Yue, swear that these rules will remain in effect forever!"

"Senior Sister is mighty! Senior Sister is mighty! Senior Sister is mighty!"

Behind me, our bound master looked utterly confused and timidly raised a hand. "Um, did any of you ask what I think?"

I turned around, smiled, and wagged a finger. "That doesn't matter."

*

Rumor had it that the cultivation sect was in decline.

The demon and fiend clans had planned to wreak havoc in the human realm, but halfway there they were beaten all the way back to their own homes?

If the Demon King and the Fiend King hadn't stepped in, the demon and fiend realms would probably have been wiped out by those cultivators.

Seeing the cultivators' bloodshot eyes and their excitement at the sight of them, the demons and fiends ran for their lives, weeping as they went.

"Wait, who are the bad guys here? Whoever started that rumor, it doesn't match reality at all. Rumors really do hurt people!"

"Have mercy, heroes, have mercy! Don't kick me in the face!"

*

Looking at the market research and the development report for Seven Star Valley, I nodded with satisfaction, burning ambition in my eyes.

"Excellent! We've achieved this much in just a few months! I'm sure that in less than half a year, the demon and fiend clans will both submit to us!"

"Hahahahahaha! Hahahahaha!"

A disciple knelt, unable to hide his excitement. "Senior Sister is mighty! Seven Star Sect is mighty!"

Behind me, Master spoke timidly. "Yue'er, wasn't your dream to become an immortal?"

I frowned in confusion. "Become an immortal? What's that? Is becoming an immortal more satisfying than unifying the Three Realms?"

The disciple shook his head. "No! No! No!"

Venerable Qingfeng's mouth twitched, and he gave a particularly strained smile. Sometimes being a master is truly exhausting. A perfectly good sect has been turned into something like a crooked cult.

Theme: If you can't lead a team, you'll work yourself to death