The First Rule of Disciplinary Committee in Namimori: No Suicide

Lately, Osamu Dazai has been having a strange and fascinating series of dreams.

In them, he can possess animals anytime, anywhere. First, he was a sparrow, then a cat... and eventually, he even became a rabbit.

It took him just one minute to go from struggling with his new body to handling it like a pro. Osamu Dazai couldn't wait to find out what it felt like to attempt suicide in an animal's body.

But after every attempt was stopped, his interest in "committing suicide in an animal's body" took second place. His top priority became using his animal identities to tease and provoke the animals' shared owner, Kyoya Hibari, and figure out just how much patience Kyoya Hibari had for animals.

This proved a little difficult to pull off.

Osamu Dazai rested his chin on his hand. He had been testing Kyoya for two whole years, yet the man who looked as cold as an icy mountain peak had never once gotten angry with him.

Possessing a cat's body, Osamu Dazai leapt from a high platform, only to be caught safely by Kyoya Hibari waiting below.

"Meow, meow, meow, meow."

What a shame, Kyoya Hibari caught him again. He really wanted to experience what it was like to become a cat-shaped pancake.

Kyoya Hibari expressionlessly hugged his cat, who was once again having delusions.

*

Kyoya Hibari first realized his pets weren't normal when Hibird suddenly started singing terribly and the kitten refused to sleep in its bed, insisting on sleeping on his instead...

He also began to wonder: why were all the animals he kept so fond of trying to kill themselves?

He didn't get an answer until he saw the cat he was bathing in his arms turn into a frail boy, wrapped in bandages from head to toe.

The animals he kept had become spirits. And not ordinary spirits, either: this one was a spirit who loved trying to kill himself.

*

Osamu Dazai began looking for a way to break the cycle of dreams.

He already knew that female rabbits could have false pregnancies if you stroked their backs. But could someone explain why male rabbits could have false pregnancies, too?

And why did the false pregnancy continue even after he turned back into a human?

Actually, all of that was trivial. The hardest thing to accept was this:

At night, Kyoya Hibari stroked his stomach. The eyes that were usually cold now held an unmistakable tenderness as he asked, "How about naming the baby Cloud Rabbit?"

Osamu Dazai: ...Heh.

Let's talk after the baby is born, Mr. Terrible-at-Choosing-Names.

★ Dazai, the master of a thousand forms ^_^

★ Osamu Dazai (bottom) x Kyoya Hibari (top)

★ Disciplinary Rule No. 2: If you see an animal that loves trying to kill itself or a pregnant male rabbit, escort it to Disciplinary Committee Chairman Kyoya Hibari's office. Handle it gently, or it will bite you to death.

[Screen recording saved on June 22, 2023]

Theme: Love can melt the coldest heart.