[Detective Conan] Why Am I a Bottle of Liquor?

Aoi Shinze is a bottle of liquor in a distillery, except it's been mixed with way too much soda.

Aoi Shinze has a workaholic boss who works himself to death and wants to drag his subordinates along with him.

Aoi Shinze looks at his boss's gleaming silver hair and declines three times with one click: No thanks, I'm still young.

Then three new recruits get dumped on him. More accurately, he gets dumped on them.

At long last, he gets to eat lunch on time, and his boss even brings it to him personally. Aoi Shinze is just about to sing his boss's praises for this sudden display of humanity when everything goes black. Just before he loses consciousness, he hears an undisguised sneer: "Hmph. Useless."

Aoi Shinze: Waaaah.

When he wakes up again, he's in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar safe house, with three unfamiliar people in front of him. One of them is holding a bowl of porridge. It smells great, but...

"I won't betray the organization. You'll never get a thing about the distillery out of me!"

Rei Furuya, now known as Toru Amuro, successfully infiltrates the distillery and finds fellow undercover agent Hiromitsu Morofushi. Then the inspector gets carried in by Gin.

Hiromitsu Morofushi, now known as Hikawa, successfully gets into the distillery and locks eyes with the dark-skinned man across the room. Great, it's his childhood friend. The door opens, and Gin carries in the inspector.

Shuichi Akai, now Dai Moroboshi, is a well-connected man by rumor and in reality. He squeezes in between the two selected recruits, perfectly content to get his codename.

Before he can exchange glances with the other two, the door opens. Shuichi Akai thinks Gin is even more deranged than the FBI's reports made him out to be. Gin carries the inspector in with the man's abdomen braced against his shoulder, then even pats his butt before setting him down.

The three men look at the pale, seemingly very young person lying in bed, and hear him talking about the distillery. Their nerves inexplicably relax.

This guy doesn't seem all that reliable.

Later, as the three of them frantically clean up Aoi Shinze's messes, they wish they could go back to their first meeting and just beat him half to death before handing him over to the Public Security Bureau or the FBI as free labor!

The pairing is Hagi. Hehe, didn't see that coming, did you?

The protagonist talks a big, flirtatious game, but is actually a tech nerd and a little shut-in with a combat rating of 999 or more. He dares to think it, but not to do it. That's just who he is.

He refuses to get physically intimate with anyone else, saving his innocence for Hagi alone.

One day:

Kenji: Let me introduce everyone to my boyfriend. He's the kind you have to pursue yourself.

The pompadoured guy: Tch.

Rei: Asti!

Hiromitsu: Asti!

The class rep: I wish you two the best.

Kenji: Too bad we're about to be in a long-distance relationship. I'll personally turn him in in a little while.

Rei/Hiromitsu: You really don't have to do that! We need the labor!

Aoi Shinze: %*&(*&%$…

The protagonist is a genuine bottle of liquor, but it's just got too much fizz, enough to dazzle you.

The police academy crew mostly survives. There is no System, no forum, just the protagonist getting dragged into one exhausting grind after another against his will, with super amazing luck!

He falls for Hagi at first sight, saves him the second time, and decides they're meant to be the third time around, at least in his own mind.

Aoi Shinze falls for someone and saves him. He figures the other man didn't offer himself in return because of his identity, so he decides to offer him the distillery as a bride price!

Theme: Hahahahahaha