[Bungo Stray Dogs] In Yokohama, I Just Want to Go Home

Welcome to an interview with a model employee of a model company in Yokohama (crossed out): an exposé of the truth

Q: I hear Mori Corporation has been achieving great things. Your company president must be exceptionally talented.

A: False. My boss is a lolicon.

Q: Is that so? (cold sweat) Then your colleagues must be outstanding enough to turn things around.

A: False. Colleague D is a drowning-and-bandage enthusiast, Colleague C must never run into Colleague D, Colleague A is an S/p/y, and there are cliques, too.

Q: Then you must have capable subordinates?

A: False. Subordinate Q was forcibly recruited, Subordinate A thinks only about Colleague D, and Subordinate O is a good person, but doesn't agree with the company's principles. The rest are a dozen idiots, a dozen troublemakers, and a dozen blocks of wood.

Q: Would you consider changing jobs?

A: My company may be getting worse with every generation, but no other company can resolve my non-compete agreement. Should I go with the feeble government agency, the spooky rat's nest, or the good-hearted family that doesn't compete for anything?

Q: What do you hope for your company's future?

A: Become a major player in three years, go public in five, and make a big splash.

Q: Oh, do you mean expanding overseas?

A: When opportunity is right in front of us, how can we just stand still?

Q: What an ambitious vision. You must be confident, then?

A: No. My boss rejected my first-round funding proposal, and we missed the best opportunity.

Q: What a shame. Will your company lie low for a while?

A: No. I'll find a way to bring in foreign investment.

Q: All right, good luck. As a veteran employee, do you have any wishes?

A: Retire and go home :)

(First draft) Ding-dong! Yokohama Port Trade Mori Corporation has sent you a job offer. You've received and accepted the document. Congratulations on your new job.

The president of Mori Corporation has sent you an invitation: Please pretend to be a little girl under twelve. You have declined.

A department manager at Mori Corporation has sent you an invitation: Let's all jump into the water together. You have declined.

...Please. There's no way I could do something like that.

A large multinational organization has sent you a team invitation. You have accepted. Congratulations on forming a temporary alliance. Keep up the good work.

The organization's leader has sent you a reform proposal. You, uh, have read it and not replied.

The organization's leader has sent you another invitation. We're sorry, Yokohama is now in crisis.

That's really not necessary.

This novel could also be called Dongo Is Exhausted Every Day, Please, Everyone, Stop Causing Trouble, or Fine, I'll Do It.

As for the romance, the pairing is Dazai Osamu.

If there's a secondary pairing, it's only Wei and Lan.

Reading notes:

1. The main story is told in first person, with other characters' perspectives interspersed. It's not a comedy. If it turns out that way, just pretend I didn't say anything.

2. There is a boundary between the fictional and real worlds. This story is purely for entertainment, so don't apply it to real life.

3. Don't mention this story in other authors' comment sections, and vice versa.

4. No fighting in the comments. Love and peace. You're all little angels, and we read to enjoy ourselves. 5. Apologies for the out-of-character writing.

About updates: Probably two or three times a week. I'm really busy. *bows to the ground*

Thanks in advance to all the lovely readers.

Theme: Home is wherever my heart finds peace.