After Reincarnating as Dazai's Childhood Friend

[A Dazai fan's self-indulgent story about doting on Dazai.] (Revision addict) Synopsis: Over-the-top Dazai fan Tan Mahiru died, but then came back to life. Since he'd lived a full life in his previous one, he had no expectations for his new life after being downgraded from the three-dimensional world to the two-dimensional one. That is, until he saw the black-haired, dark-eyed little boy next door. !!! Tremble, decaying world! From today on, he would fight to protect his idol! * Dazai had a childhood friend who was just one day older than him, named Tan Mahiru. Tan Mahiru didn't say a word until he was six. The first thing he ever said was, "Good morning. Want to drown yourself?" Dazai: ... What's wrong with you? I'm only six! Little skit: One fine day, the villain alliance gathered in Yokohama, ready to cause trouble. Everyone on Yokohama's side charged out, prepared to fight to the death, when Dazai suddenly stepped into the middle of the crowd. The villains, who were in the middle of powering up their ultimate moves, all stopped in their tracks A certain fugitive white-haired collector (clears his throat): Well, you see, I owe Tan Mahiru a favor. I promised him I'd keep this kid alive. A certain Geto in a monk's robes (a little awkwardly): ...I owe Tan Mahiru a favor too. A certain Italian marshmallow weirdo (eagerly): Actually, me too... A certain kindhearted Russian (his smile vanishing): Are you all messing with me? * I will forever be your blade, your shield, the stepping stone that guides you as you walk through the world. Daily update time: 12:00 (sometimes a few minutes late) Daily extra chapter time: 18:00 or 21:00 (sometimes a few minutes late) If something comes up and I can't update, I'll let you know and take a leave of absence. Content warning: A self-indulgent story by a Dazai fan who'd cut off their own leg for him. Everyone being out of character is entirely my doing. Kindly no writing advice. There is a WeiLan side pairing. (A GojoGeto pairing was originally planned, but has been removed, so proceed with caution if that's a dealbreaker QWQ.) Lastly, there's a preorder in my author collection featuring Boss Dazai. It's another amusement park for Dazai's number-one-only fan! Please add it to your collection (bows). Theme: Work hard at life, and guide those you cherish toward the right path.