[TFP] I Accidentally Bought a Licensed Intelligence Handler Figurine

After being a TFP fan for so long, and having their equally devoted TFP-loving friends tempt them for just as long, Yongchuan had just turned eighteen when they immediately used their coming-of-age gift money to buy the long-coveted Soundwave 2.0 figure from Apache.

Don't ask. Before turning eighteen, it was hard enough for me to keep three digits in my account on V.

The oppressive power of a traditional family...

But that doesn't matter anymore! Your boy is an adult now! (Seal slaps belly)

Hehehe... Soundwave, hehehe... ☆w☆

From the day it shipped, our humble Yongchuan was itching with anticipation. The display case was all ready. All that was missing was a handsome, elegant Cybertronian hunk!

Every day felt like a year...

Aaaah! It finally arrived on the third day! Apache, do you know that if you'd shipped it just two hours later, it would've arrived on the fourth day! (Seller: They're going crazy, they're going crazy.)

I couldn't wait. I tore open the package, pulled out the box with the handsome face printed on it, then fluttered away with jazz hands (??? Yongchuan, have some dignity).

Hey, wait?

What's that sound coming from inside the box? Apache is so nice, they even included an unboxing BGM?

But why does this BGM sound like someone struggling desperately, all flustered and frantic, with a touch of nervous recklessness because nobody's watching?

Honestly, it's as frantic as a kitten scratching at the wall. What a cute and weird BGM.

"..."

"...?"

Did that thing they call a head sculpt, or in plain language, its head, just move? It moved just now, right?

"...Destroy."

"Holy crap, wait a damn minute!!! Aah!!!... Huh, wait, I'm okay?"

"..."

"Hold on, that's not the point! Holy crap, it's alive!!!"

Wait a second. Why does that pitch-black mask make me feel like you're looking at me like I'm an idiot?!

You were the kitten scratching at the wall in the box just now, weren't you!? You were, weren't you?! Hey, don't act like I didn't hear anything and you didn't do anything. I know it was you!

And you're wearing a mask, so why can I still see you looking down on me???

No, wait, that doesn't seem to be the point.

What was I saying holy crap about just now...

Holy crap, it's alive!!!

Question: What do you do if you buy an official TFP figure?

What else can you do!?

Hide this treasure from your friends and hurry up and take it home to raise it yourself!

The author bought the first figure of their life, but the figure was a living Soundwave.

He's a little longer than the author's palm.

You didn't like to talk in TFP, so now you won't make a sound and will just be elegant, right? That's fine~ (pulls out a major reconstructive surgery scalpel) Let me have a look! [Soundwave: Keep your hands off me!]

--An utterly brainless but insanely lucky author who bought an official Soundwave and immediately took off, and the aloof Decepticon intelligence officer who inexplicably appeared on Earth in another world--

And this intelligence officer is only about the size of a palm.

The author is trying to win over the figure...

You little punk, I bought you with my own money. So now you're mine, body and soul (crawling around in a twisted manner) (grinning) (sneakily).

Soundwave: ...Back off (internal comms: Decepticons, I need backup.)

Theme: Update: When Soundwave Gets Smaller... Details: L-F