I Run a Rather Unorthodox Cat Cafe (Crossover)

What is it like to be an influencer cat with tens of millions of followers?

As a former strongest sorcerer and current top-tier star of the cat world, Gojo Satoru is the perfect person to answer that question.

[It's really nothing special. I just have endless Kikufuku and butter potatoes to eat.

What? Kitties can't eat butter potatoes or Kikufuku?

I'm the one eating them, so it's fine~]

Kinoshita Jun had just gotten the keys from his uncle. He thought it was an ordinary cat cafe, until he discovered the little signs on the cats.

The white Ragdoll had stunning blue eyes like the sky and was gorgeous enough to stop traffic. When it rubbed against your legs, it liked to tilt its little head back and meow clingily for attention. Yet its sign read: [This cat has a serious sweet tooth, is ferocious and clingy, and is a beast!!!] It even had the nerve to use three exclamation marks.

The tuxedo cat with a strange tuft of bangs was gentle, pretty, and friendly. It liked to curl up on your head for a nap. The description on its sign was downright outrageous: [This cat has a strange personality, formidable fighting ability, and several bird lives to its name. Beast x2. Recommend keeping it on a leash!!!]

Good grief, none of these cats look like good cats.

“How can you be so cold to the customers?”

The white cat on the left didn't seem to notice it was being called out. After leisurely finishing its can of food, it gazed at you with innocent, wide eyes. The little sign hanging from its neck was especially conspicuous.

“Customers pet you because they like you!”

The tuxedo cat with the weird bangs, sprawled in the cat villa while being lectured, narrowed its eyes and gave a huge yawn. The scolding went in one ear and out the other.

“If you don't let the customers pet you, how is our shop supposed to stay in business?”

Your hands trembled as you watched the black cat grooming itself, overcome with grief.

“This is a club. You only have value if you make the customers fall in love with you and spend money on you!”

The big orange cat buried its huge face in its food bowl and chowed down.

“Every one of you has a sourer face than the last, and you're all so temperamental. The customers won't like you if you act like this.”

“Go make the customers happy. Let them cuddle and hug you. If they like you, they'll buy you cans of food. You'll get food, I'll make money, and the customers will enjoy the service. Everybody wins. Isn't that great?”

“Anyway, our club's motto is to satisfy the customers, make them comfortable, make them feel at home, and make them want to come back. Got it?!”

And so ended the day's lecture.

You ignored the murderous look from the employee that said, “I can't believe you're psychologically manipulating kittens. That's slanderous!” You brushed nonexistent dust from your knees and stood up, stretching lazily.

Sigh, running a proper cat cafe is so hard!

Pairing: Dazai

Cat cafe members:

Jesse-meow

Go-chan

Odasaku-meow

Matsu-sweet-meow

Reiko-meow

Ryunosuke-meow

Hiro-meow

*The cat cafe club quotes are from the internet.

2023.11.04

Theme: Do you want to come over to my place and watch cat videos?