A Live History Show, but with the Three Kingdoms Roasted

As Lu Bu came out of Ding Yuan's tent, he suddenly saw an image appear in the sky. A burly man with a leopard's head, round eyes, swallow's chin, and tiger-like whiskers shouted at a man in beast-faced linked armor: "Three-surnamed slave, don't run! Take a spear from your Uncle Zhang!"

Lu Bu looked down at the beast-faced linked armor he was wearing.

Then he looked up again. In the image, the armored man swung his Sky Piercer Halberd and sent his opponent stumbling back twice. Just then, a line of text drifted across the image: [Lu Bu is so strong. Why didn't Cao Cao keep him around to breed later?]

Lu Bu: "...??"

Then a second line followed right after: [Probably because he's a slave with three surnames, not a sex slave to three families.]

Lu Bu: "???!!!"

P.S. I haven't figured out the rest of the blurb yet, so I'm leaving this here for now. Please add my upcoming story to your favorites, mwah.

Theme: Stay positive, never bow to fate, and take the future into your own hands!